Zombie Jesus

#26
#26
IPorange said:
The only thing consistent about the alleged descriptions of Jesus (surely at least some of them are fake, since they are conflicting) is that he was tall and had long hair and a bear.
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Was it a black bear or a grizzly? I would think Jesus would have a grizzly bear. Cool to know.
 
#27
#27
161009023545_jesus-3d_detail.jpg
 
#29
#29
The fifth is definitely my favorite. If there is another zombie walk here in Knoxville, I will definitely have to consider doing that.
 
#30
#30
Sabanocchio said:
Here it is:

Physical Description of Jesus
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Thanks, I just found it, too, at that same link. It is an interesting read. There are several other descriptions on that same link. But, they are different. Blond hair, red beard and hair of the same color, brown hair, olive skin, wheat colored skin, etc. Changeling? Several different people with the same message? It is interesting, though. Thanks, Sab.
 
#31
#31
Well let's just thank God he was a man. If a woman was the savior of mankind, us guys would never hear the end of it.
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#33
#33
I personally am offended. But unlike some other religions, I won't try and blow someone up over this.
 
#35
#35
Slydell said:
Now, that would be something to read. I haven't found it anywhere but a famous Roman historian, Cornelius Tacitus ,describes Christianity as a pernicious superstition. Perhaps, the same historian? Don't know.
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Sabanocchio said:
Pontius Pilate was hardly a Roman historian, but a description exists.
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I was speaking of Josephus (who was actually jewish, not Roman, my bad) but have found a description by a Roman:

The following was taken from a manuscript in the possession of Lord Kelly, and in his library, and was copied from an original letter of Publius Lentullus at Rome. It being the usual custom of Roman Governors to advertise the Senate and people of such material things as happened in their provinces in the days of Tiberius Caesar, Publius Lentullus, President of Judea, wrote the following epistle to the Senate concerning the Nazarene called Jesus.


"There appeared in these our days a man, of the Jewish Nation, of great virtue, named Yeshua [Jesus], who is yet living among us, and of the Gentiles is accepted for a Prophet of truth, but His own disciples call Him the Son of God- He raiseth the dead and cureth all manner of diseases.

A man of stature somewhat tall, and comely, with very reverent countenance, such as the beholders may both love and fear, his hair of (the colour of) the chestnut, full ripe, plain to His ears, whence downwards it is more orient and curling and wavering about His shoulders.

In the midst of His head is a seam or partition in His hair, after the manner of the Nazarenes. His forehead plain and very delicate; His face without spot or wrinkle, beautified with a lovely red; His nose and mouth so formed as nothing can be reprehended; His beard thickish, in colour like His hair, not very long, but forked; His look innocent and mature; His eyes grey, clear, and quick- In reproving hypocrisy He is terrible; in admonishing, courteous and fair spoken; pleasant in conversation, mixed with gravity.

It cannot be remembered that any have seen Him Laugh, but many have seen Him Weep. In proportion of body, most excellent; His hands and arms delicate to behold. In speaking, very temperate, modest, and wise. A man, for His singular beauty, surpassing the children of men"
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More writings from the time about Jesus.

Bear in mind that the devilish muhamedens have destroyed every last thing Christian they could find and conquer for the past fourteen centuries.

No doubt ACLG would refer to Jesus as a nazi but for some people there is no hope.





IPorange said:
Well let's just thank God he was a man. If a woman was the savior of mankind, us guys would never hear the end of it.
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Ever heard of the feminist story of creation?
 
#37
#37
Hmmm, sounds like Jesus may have had the long hair afterall. I guess all the metal bands got it right.
 
#38
#38
wait, all the radical Christians are gonna blow us up for mentioning this.... oh wait thats islam, carry on
 
#39
#39
VolsSportsFan said:
Hmmm, sounds like Jesus may have had the long hair afterall. I guess all the metal bands got it right.
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Here is another funny story, at least I thought so.

Back during the early seventies there was a poet in Memphis by the name of Bill Frost. (the last remaining beatnik.)

One Saturday morning Overton Square was closed off to automobile traffic so as to present a starving artist event.

Along came Bill about 10 AM broke and jonesing for a quart of beer and so started bumming his artist friends for a dollar or so as they were displaying their wares for sale to the public.

Typically your starving artist isn't the ideal target for panhandling efforts and no one had any change to spare so finally a painter had a portrait of his idea of what Jesus looked like and so told Bill; "here Bill take this painting and sell it for $35, $40 or $50 and bring me back $25 and you can keep the rest."

So there went Bill trying to sell the painting to everyone who would listen and finally along came a photographer and asked Bill to pose for a photo op with the painting.

Later on a group of friends took the photo of Bill and Jesus and silk screened the picture on the front of T-shirts and sold them and everyone who was anyone in Memphis had a Bill Frost and Jesus T-shirt.

They came out ahead on the deal by about $300 or so and donated the money to Bill to pay his back rent etc.

Bill was a hardcore Jesus freak and if thugs would bother him on the street he would say he would have to talk to the head knocker about that. People who knew Bill knew that he refered to Jesus as the head knocker and he meant he would pray about it.

Flash ahead about ten years and I'm way up in the country raising a family and you know how kids outgrow jammies faster than you can buy them, so we took to giving them my T-shirts for night gowns and that was working out nicely until one time the wife got slightly behind on the washing and we ran out of clean T-shirts.

So I dug out my Bill Frost T-shirt and gave it to my little boy, we thought he would be honored but he was a bit skeptical, he wanted a plain white one like he had been getting.

He held up the T-shirt and asked his mom who were the people on his shirt and she said that's the Bill Frost T-shirt and he asked who the other guy was and she said Jesus.

He held it up and examined it closely, looked at his mom, studied it again, looked at me, looked back at the shirt and finally turned to his mom and asked; "which one is Jesus?" :)
 
#40
#40
VolsSportsFan said:
I guess all the metal bands got it right.
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If the lamb were slain before the foundation or the world,

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

what is the significance of the sheepskin on your own wall?
 
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