Apply this argument to interviewing for a job. If someone else is chosen, you didn’t lose the job. You lost the opportunity to continue to interview for the job - the only thing you actually had.
When a recruit picks another school, you lose the opportunity to continue to show them why they should come to your school, bc that’s all you had. Never had a commitment = never had the recruit. Thus you cannot lose them.
A job application turns into a competition. Correct? Yes. Each applicant competes against the other applicants. Somebody wins the competition. Correct? Yes. The others lose it. You can talk however you choose, but you might want to drop the ridiculous grammar police routine.