I caught my girlfriend pooping one time... So I broke up with her...
She said shes off to pee while we were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and I knew something was up, I knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and I became suspicious...so I yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no, but there was no stopping this, I smashed through the door and I see her sitting on the toilet seat, I told her to get the hell up, she didnt, so I threw her off. I looked inside the toilet...just as I suspected, a damn log! Bish you better pray this isn't yours! I looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS YOUR POOP YOU WHORE, she screamed at me that I'm crazy and that she's calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. I told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with you, you're some kind of poop whore. And that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.
