It's Been The Darkest Time In My Life

#101
#101
dduncan4163 said:
She also told me to tell you all that even though she was born and raised a Razorback her heart will now forever be a Vol.
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Well you just tell that girl
1. We've been waiting and welcome to the family.
2. She's got a serious support system behind her and let's kick this things azz.
 
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#103
#103
VOLNPA said:
Prayers. I was diagnosed with CML/Philadelphia Chromosome in 2010. With the meds out there now, I'm in remission. I don't say this as a look at me, but as an example of hope for her full recovery. Our prayers and best wishes are with you and your wife.
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The fact you are here after 7 plus years gives me more hope than you could ever know. Hell I'm tearing up again over here lol. I know she can win this fight but I also know how deadly this can be. The very fact that your still here lets me know that it's okay to hope.
 
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#106
#106
I tell you, nothing can make you feel more helpless than watching the person you chose to share your life with suffer. If I could have one wish it would be to trade places with her. A child needs both but at the end of the day a father can never be a substitute for a mother. My girls are to young to understand they just know that momma is sick and can't come home for a long time. My sons are old enough to understand but they still can't accept it. Dennis is holding up pretty well but Isaac was Laura's tick. He has always been a mommas boy. He is bitter and I know that's normal but it doesn't make things any easier. I got them in counseling but I really worry about him.
 
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#107
#107
Bro. My wife (Laura, too) is so puzzled. I just broke out crying after reading your post. She and I have faced and defeated death on a handful of occasions...particularly yours truly...because I know...I know what you're going through. Maybe not specifically your particular heart obliterating circumstances...but I know. All I can promise is you and Laura and the kids have boatloads of prayers from me and mine. From all our trials, I've become so close to Jesus that it stays crowded within me. Cling to Him TOGETHER. Do that and no matter what happens while we're hanging out in these frail bags of skin, bones and people jelly, just always remember that tomorrow is gona' be so bright, we'll have to wear shades. In our cases...they're Tennessee Orange. God Bless, bro.
 
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#110
#110
I knw I'm rambling but make sure you tell the ones you love how much you love them and let old grudges go. Life is too precious Nation. Let any hurt, or bitterness go and be the change you want to see in others. Get in touch with a old friend. Call and check up with the ones you care for. Be kind and love each other even if a random stranger on the street. You will feel nothing but joy and satisfaction I promise you.
 
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#111
#111
sameolvol said:
Bro. My wife (Laura, too) is so puzzled. I just broke out crying after reading your post. She and I have faced and defeated death on a handful of occasions...particularly yours truly...because I know...I know what you're going through. Maybe not specifically your particular heart obliterating circumstances...but I know. All I can promise is you and Laura and the kids have boatloads of prayers from me and mine. From all our trials, I've become so close to Jesus that it stays crowded within me. Cling to Him TOGETHER. Do that and no matter what happens while we're hanging out in these frail bags of skin, bones and people jelly, just always remember that tomorrow is gona' be so bright, we'll have to wear shades. In our cases...they're Tennessee Orange. God Bless, bro.
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Thank you so much my friend. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
 
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#112
#112
Duncan, my sister is a UT grad that loves the Vols. She is a nurse at Vandy Hospital for 30 years, Laura is in good hands. You hang in there, cover them kids with love, they are scared and need a strong dad. From what I see they have a great dad? Will be contributing to the fundme site. God Bless you and your family.
 
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#113
#113
Shakinthefat said:
Duncan, my sister is a UT grad that loves the Vols. She is a nurse at Vandy Hospital for 30 years, Laura is in good hands. You hang in there, cover them kids with love, they are scared and need a strong dad. From what I see they have a great dad? Will be contributing to the fundme site. God Bless you and your family.
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Thank you so much
 
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#114
#114
Sorry I'm posting so much. She's alsleep and it just won't stop pouring out me right now. Hell I can't stop crying right now and I don't want her to wake up and see me like this. I don't mean to throw this on to you all and just so damn scared. I've never known fear and pain like this. I can't loose her guys. She can't leave me. I know it's selfish of me but I don't know if I can raise my kids and face this life alone. I just what a little more time. IHell if I can have her again healthy for just a year that will be enough. She saved me from a life of sorry and destruction 17 years ago. She made me want to be a better man. She has been my angel for so long. I can't do this without her.
 
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#115
#115
Prayers to your family. Never give up. We're all pulling for you and we hate to see your family being so challenged.

You have a great looking family btw!
 
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#116
#116
dduncan4163 said:
Sorry I'm posting so much. She's alsleep and it just won't stop pouring out me right now. Hell I can't stop crying right now and I don't want her to wake up and see me like this. I don't mean to throw this on to you all and just so damn scared. I've never known fear and pain like this. I can't loose her guys. She can't leave me. I know it's selfish of me but I don't know if I can raise my kids and face this life alone. I just what a little more time. IHell if I can have her again healthy for just a year that will be enough. She saved me from a life of sorry and destruction 17 years ago. She made me want to be a better man. She has been my angel for so long. I can't do this without her.
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Never need to apologize
 
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#117
#117
I come from a family that viewed love and support as weakness. I never knew how to really bond before her. You showed me that loving and being vulnerable to others wasn't weakness but strength. She showed me that being human is okay. You showed me that life is so much more amazing when you let your guard down and let people in. She taught me how to be human Nation.
 
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#118
#118
Okay I'm getting my composure back now. I'm so sorry nation. I feel like I just vomited up poison. Thank you for bearing with me. I won't lie that panic attack came out of nowhere.
 
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#119
#119
Anyone that has ever came close to what you're going through knows exactly what you mean.
There's absolutely no need for apologies, vent all you want.
We're here.
 
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#121
#121
chargervol said:
Anyone that has ever came close to what you're going through knows exactly what you mean.
There's absolutely no need for apologies, vent all you want.
We're here.
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Thank you brother. I have lost it more than a few times behind closed doors these past few weeks but this was the first panic attack I've had since this started. Typing was the only thing that was giving me some sense of control. I'm feeling much better now. I guess I just needed to vomit it all out. I honestly didn't know I had been bottling it up the way I was.
 
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#122
#122
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the lord.

My family will pray for yours and keep y'all in our thoughts.
 
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#123
#123
dduncan4163 said:
You have no idea how much hope your post just gave me. I would love to talk sometime if you feel up to it. My email is duncanmaynard7980@gmail.com. Drop me a line anytime brother and thank you once again for your post. Knowing that this fight is winnable brings me more comfort than you'll ever know.
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Email sent bro. Look forward to hearing from you.
 
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#124
#124
Laura told me to come back here and start posting again 10 days ago. Once again she was right. I wanted too but I also felt guilty if that makes sense. How dare I resume everyday life when she can't. I'm am happy she was right once again. I am now once again being reminded of how special you all are to me.

Thank you Nation and thank you Freak for making all this happen. Thank you for putting up with all these years and not dropping the ban hammer on me even though I deserved it more than a few times.
 
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#125
#125
dduncan4163 said:
Thank you brother. I have lost it more than a few times behind closed doors these past few weeks but this was the first panic attack I've had since this started. Typing was the only thing that was giving me some sense of control. I'm feeling much better now. I guess I just needed to vomit it all out. I honestly didn't know I had been bottling it up the way I was.
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You're being strong for her and she needs that.
When you have the chance to regain sanity by leaning on our shoulders, do it.
 
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