James Harrison Returns Sons' Participation Trophies

#226
#226
volbeast33 said:
And giving them back just adds to the message the dad is trying to get his kids to understand....I guarantee that the kids wont remember every single talk he has with them but they will be telling their kids how dad made them give back trophies they didn't earn.

My daughter won a rec league basketball game by ten points but missed two lay-ups....I made her drop down in the gym after the game and give me twenty push-ups for missing the two lay-ups.....she will always remember that and it makes her realize the importance of every detail.
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Nice.
 
#227
#227
volbeast33 said:
It takes way more than that....that means you go every single day whether you want to or not....Its definitely not an easy accomplishment.
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Lol, is this a real response? Whether you want to or not? Do you give your kids a choice to stay home from school if they don't want to go?
 
#228
#228
jjay2518 said:
Lol, is this a real response? Whether you want to or not? Do you give your kids a choice to stay home from school if they don't want to go?
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This guy forces his daughter to do push ups after a rec league game. You don't stay home from school unless blood is coming out of at least 2 orifices
 
#229
#229
jjay2518 said:
Lol, is this a real response? Whether you want to or not? Do you give your kids a choice to stay home from school if they don't want to go?
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Not all the time but a lot of the time it is important to the kid and he won't miss no matter what....I was different than that and tried using every excuse in the world to miss school.
 
#230
#230
utvolpj said:
This guy forces his daughter to do push ups after a rec league game. You don't stay home from school unless blood is coming out of at least 2 orifices
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Nope they stay home if sick but I am pushing my daughter to be the best athlete possible....kids are not as fragile as you think they are.
 
#232
#232
volbeast33 said:
Nope they stay home if sick but I am pushing my daughter to be the best athlete possible....kids are not as fragile as you think they are.
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I see this all the time and I'll never understand this approach to parenting.

Why do you feel like you have to take it upon yourself to push your daughter in athletics? What's your agenda for doing that? Is this in hopes she earns an athletic scholly somewhere because you can't financially swing it? Is this you living vicariously through her because you didn't excel at sports when you were a kid? Bragging rights as a parent? To me, if you are having to push your kids to excel at anything, then it probably means they're not quite as passionate about it as you are as a parent.
 
#235
#235
Brave Volunteer said:
I see this all the time and I'll never understand this approach to parenting.

Why do you feel like you have to take it upon yourself to push your daughter in athletics? What's your agenda for doing that? Is this in hopes she earns an athletic scholly somewhere because you can't financially swing it? Is this you living vicariously through her because you didn't excel at sports when you were a kid? Bragging rights as a parent? To me, if you are having to push your kids to excel at anything, then it probably means they're not quite as passionate about it as you are as a parent.
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I put all my kids into athletics but don't force them to excel at anything that they are not into. I have one daughter that cant stand sports so I go to dance recitals. I have one son that's not as into sports but wants me to push him like I do my other daughter so I do....my other son is going to be just like my daughter that craves sports but he is just starting out.

My daughter has high goals for herself when it comes to basketball....I support her financially and push her to be the best that she can be.....She would die if she had to give up basketball.
 
#236
#236
crusse10 said:
You force your best friend to do pushups in front of everyone after winning a game handily?
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Yep bc it teaches her about the details....you don't miss lay-ups....Her goals are much higher than a rec league basketball game. She works out with a former Lady Vol...The Lady Vol told her that she was lucky to have a dad to pushed her like I do and made sure she did the right things always.
 
#238
#238
volbeast33 said:
Yep bc it teaches her about the details....you don't miss lay-ups....Her goals are much higher than a rec league basketball game. She works out with a former Lady Vol...The Lady Vol told her that she was lucky to have a dad to pushed her like I do and made sure she did the right things always.
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There's no correlation between pushups and making a layup. Perhaps next time focus on helping the fundamentals instead of public humiliation after a blowout win.
 
#239
#239
crusse10 said:
There's no correlation between pushups and making a layup. Perhaps next time focus on helping the fundamentals instead of public humiliation after a blowout win.
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We stress fundamentals daily.... She doesn't do anything on the court without using proper form......It helps her focus and to train like a champion......You can tell a huge difference in my daughter's mental toughness and other kids she plays with. She is just starting the seventh grade and has been recruited by two different High Schools besides the one she is zoned for to come play for them.
 
#241
#241
crusse10 said:
That's scary to read. I'd have never thought about the ride after. I grew up with a kid who had that dad. I'd overhear my parents talking about how awful they treated him after sporting events.
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Basically....you have to know your child....each child requires different types of motivation.
 
#242
#242
Different parents stress different things. My wife and I stress the academics - especially mathematics, reading, writing to our 2 girls (6+ and 11+). Do these well, pay attention to details, put in the extra effort, etc.

We don't put the same attention to their sports interests (gymnastics and volleyball). Part of the reason is simply because neither of us is competent to coach those sports.

Unless a child is in pain/suffering, I stay out of other parent's focus/style. None of my business.
 
#243
#243
crusse10 said:
That's scary to read. I'd have never thought about the ride after. I grew up with a kid who had that dad. I'd overhear my parents talking about how awful they treated him after sporting events.
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I've read it multiple times since I know once my boys hit the competitive side it will be tough. Better to relax and produce a Peyton or Eli than risk a Todd Marinovich
 
#245
#245
crusse10 said:
that study goes against that exact statement, and it's only of kids talented enough to actually play in college
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Exactly.

To me, putting your kids in sports is the same thing as putting them into the Boy/Girl Scouts or into playing a musical instrument. It's just ONE tool to help enrich their lives and help with their growth and development. The whole idea of "I'm going to push my child to be the best they can be and play like a champion" just does not compute with me. They already have a coach. It's THEIR job to push those kinds of buttons in your child, not you the parent. As a parent, in your eyes your kids should be "champions" anyway. Let THEM discern whether or not they actually play like champions. It's not your job to tell them they sucked. You're job is to be there for them and support whatever they want to pursue.

Maybe it's because my parents didn't do me that way. I played baseball and football from little league all the way through high school. However not one time did my parents ever even have a conversation with me about how I played or practiced. They supported me all the way, were at every game/practice, every banquet, etc. They always were proud of me and told me so, no matter how I played.

The main thing that my parents stressed with me was never quitting. If I started a season playing baseball or football, I HAD to finish the season. That was their one "non negotiable."
 
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#246
#246
crusse10 said:
that study goes against that exact statement, and it's only of kids talented enough to actually play in college
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Is asking a bunch of people questions really a study........it would have been more interesting to see how each parent pushed or didn't push that particular kid.
 
#248
#248
Brave Volunteer said:
Exactly.

To me, putting your kids in sports is the same thing as putting them into the Boy/Girl Scouts or into playing a musical instrument. It's just ONE tool to help enrich their lives and help with their growth and development. The whole idea of "I'm going to push my child to be the best they can be and play like a champion" just does not compute with me. They already have a coach. It's THEIR job to push those kinds of buttons in your child, not you the parent. As a parent, in your eyes your kids should be "champions" anyway. Let THEM discern whether or not they actually play like champions. It's not your job to tell them they sucked. You're job is to be there for them and support whatever they want to pursue.

Maybe it's because my parents didn't do me that way. I played baseball and football from little league all the way through high school. However not one time did my parents ever even have a conversation with me about how I played or practiced. They supported me all the way, were at every game/practice, every banquet, etc. They always were proud of me and told me so, no matter how I played.

The main thing that my parents stressed with me was never quitting. If I started a season playing baseball or football, I HAD to finish the season. That was their one "non negotiable."
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I never ever interfere with what their coach is doing and demand that they respect their coach......Away from the field, I am their coach. I spend 8-10 hours a week typically working with my daughter on her game.
 
#249
#249
crusse10 said:
yes, that's called a survey
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How do you think my daughter got to be as good as she is....

We practice 8-10 hours a week....she plays AAU and every time a gym door is open and someone wants her....she trains once a week with Alexis Hornbuckle.... Her goal is to be a Lady Vol.....I don't think she will be able to reach that goal but Im going to help her reach as high as she is able to attain.
 
#250
#250
volbeast33 said:
We practice 8-10 hours a week....she plays AAU and every time a gym door is open and someone wants her....she trains once a week with Alexis Hornbuckle.... Her goal is to be a Lady Vol.....I don't think she will be able to reach that goal but Im going to help her reach as high as she is able to attain.
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Look, my biggest problem here is the stuff about you making her do pushups in front of others after she won a game. That's messed up. Lady Vols didn't drop and give Pat 20 during a 30-second timeout. That's my point.

As for the resenting thing...It's pretty simple. If you teach kids from a young age that your love can be best earned by participating in sports and excelling, your children will do their damndest to do that. Not because they inherently love the sport, but because they inherently want the love of their parent. Slowly over time, your goal for them becomes their goal because they want the love of their parent.

I find it difficult to believe that you don't do exactly what all those children say they hated most in youth sports.

volbeast33 said:
How do you think my daughter got to be as good as she is....
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• Living your own athletic dream through your child: A sure sign is the parent taking credit when the child has done well. “We worked on that shot for weeks in the driveway,” or “You did it just like I showed you” Another symptom is when the outcome of a game means more to a parent than to the child. If you as a parent are still depressed by a loss when the child is already off playing with friends, remind yourself that it’s not your career and you have zero control over the outcome.
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