James Harrison Returns Sons' Participation Trophies

#76
#76
utvolpj said:
There's a difference in punishment and telling a child their performance in a sport was not good enough for their father
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considering he said that he came home to see that they got participation trophies, one could wonder if he even knows if their performance was or was not good enough
 
#77
#77
GAVol said:
Exactly. If you want to make a stand, go coach a team and make it clear from the start that there will be no trophies. But don't let everybody get a trophy and then take it away from your kid to make a point that he's not going to understand.
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Low expectations will get you your low results.

Shakes head.
 
#79
#79
Vol8188 said:
Who had low expectations and how? Or do you just throw out random phrases like this all the time?
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A decision your child cant understand?

That is a pretty low expectation to believe you cant explain something to your child and/or they cant understand it.

But, I see it allbthe time in modern parenting.
 
#80
#80
GAVol said:
Why would you take away a toy or candy from a kid other than as a punishment?
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I could think of a million hypothetical reasons (including punishment) that may be valid or simply reaches. Either way, that parent made a choice and returned the gift or trophy or whatever was given to the kid.

The fact is that the kids will survive. To call Harrison's actions "detrimental" is a bit of a stretch. That is all I was saying.
 
#81
#81
Kids shouldn't be getting awards just for participating. They should be taught awards are earned.

I haven't even commented on what Harrison did, but it's his call as a parent on how best to teach his children.
 
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#82
#82
crusse10 said:
The difference is that you take a toy or candy for them doing something wrong. They are being punished the same way for not doing something wrong.
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I don't think the reasoning behind it matters as much. And heck, who's to say that Harrison wasn't satisfied with the effort presented. I'm not in his head to ask him why he took the trophy, but either way, I don't think we have a crisis on our hands.

Lets all just relax a little bit. I think everything will be OK for the kids.
 
#83
#83
Rasputin_Vol said:
I could think of a million hypothetical reasons (including punishment) that may be valid or simply reaches. Either way, that parent made a choice and returned the gift or trophy or whatever was given to the kid.

The fact is that the kids will survive. To call Harrison's actions "detrimental" is a bit of a stretch. That is all I was saying.
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you can think of many reasons to take a kid's toy or candy that doesn't qualify as punishment?
 
#84
#84
Rasputin_Vol said:
I could think of a million hypothetical reasons (including punishment) that may be valid or simply reaches. Either way, that parent made a choice and returned the gift or trophy or whatever was given to the kid.

The fact is that the kids will survive. To call Harrison's actions "detrimental" is a bit of a stretch. That is all I was saying.
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I still don't follow your first point but I can probably agree with the last sentence. I don't know that it's detrimental, but I do think it's unnecessary at that age.
 
#86
#86
allvol123 said:
A decision your child cant understand?

That is a pretty low expectation to believe you cant explain something to your child and/or they cant understand it.

But, I see it allbthe time in modern parenting.
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If you take something away from a 6 year old, they are going to think they've done something wrong.

Again, I get the argument, but I don't get making a big deal about it with a little kid after he's already gotten the trophy.
 
#87
#87
utvolpj said:
There's a difference in punishment and telling a child their performance in a sport was not good enough for their father
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Doesn't he have that right to make that decision? And so what if he does?

I mean really? We're talking about a participation trophy.

Jimmy Kimmel has videos of parents taking Halloween candy from kids and everyone gets a laugh out of it. I'm sure that parents have eaten all their kids candy before... and you'll probably get bigger emotional reactions from kids that have had this done to them on Halloween than from kids getting their participation trophy taken from them.

Lets just relax on the traumatic/detrimental rhetoric.
 
#89
#89
If kids are competing and having fun, that is reward enough in my opinion. No one needs a trophy for showing up. If it's a contest, someone gets a trophy. The rest get told way to compete and we'll get 'em next year.
 
#90
#90
GAVol said:
If you take something away from a 6 year old, they are going to think they've done something wrong.
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Sure.

If the action is followed with no words.

I am sure if I did it and explained it to my 6 year old son, he could understand it was not punishment. And even understand the point I was trying to make.
 
#91
#91
GAVol said:
If you take something away from a 6 year old, they are going to think they've done something wrong.

Again, I get the argument, but I don't get making a big deal about it with a little kid after he's already gotten the trophy.
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In the grand scheme of things, GA, can you not just simply walk with me down this road and admit that a participation trophy being taken away is not "detrimental"?

That is all I'm saying.
 
#93
#93
GAVol said:
I still don't follow your first point but I can probably agree with the last sentence. I don't know that it's detrimental, but I do think it's unnecessary at that age.
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Explain... I guess I'm not sure which point you're talking about?
 
#95
#95
crusse10 said:
The difference is that you take a toy or candy for them doing something wrong. They are being punished the same way for not doing something wrong.
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What difference does it make if it was taken because of principle or taken because of punishment? The end result is the same, but there is even a lesson in taking it due to principle.

We all do certain things in life that we don't get rewarded for. You could use that as a teachable moment of how life actually works.

Again... lets ease up on the rhetoric, guys. We're bigger than this.
 
#96
#96
Weezer said:
Safety concerns. Allergies(candy). Spiritual/moral beliefs.
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That's a little different. I'm sure the kid would know about that beforehand. For that matter, I wouldn't have an issue if a parent came to me beforehand and said "don't get my kid a trophy.". I'd figure out a way to accommodate that.
 
#97
#97
Weezer said:
Kids shouldn't be getting awards just for participating. They should be taught awards are earned.

I haven't even commented on what Harrison did, but it's his call as a parent on how best to teach his children.
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And that's the bottom line...

My only hope is that he is as hard on what he expects of his children in the classroom as he is on what he expects on the field.
 
#98
#98
Rasputin_Vol said:
What difference does it make if it was taken because of principle or taken because of punishment? The end result is the same, but there is even a lesson in taking it due to principle.

We all do certain things in life that we don't get rewarded for. You could use that as a teachable moment of how life actually works.

Again... lets ease up on the rhetoric, guys. We're bigger than this.
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A teachable moment would be to show his kids the Super Bowl rings he's won because of earning them and to tell them that, if you want to be like your dad and win these that everybody doesn't get, you gotta work hard and be the best. Then ask them if they want to keep these dumb things that everyone is given. Then the kids might say to throw them away.

Posting a rant on instagram about how your kids were given a participation award and that you're going to take them away is not teaching.

One way you start off with discussion and let them get to the same conclusion. The other way it starts with them being happy and ends with them feeling like they lost something.
 
#99
#99
Rasputin_Vol said:
In the grand scheme of things, GA, can you not just simply walk with me down this road and admit that a participation trophy being taken away is not "detrimental"?

That is all I'm saying.
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I think I already agreed to that, but I just find it unnecessary to make a big deal out of it with a 6 year old.

Giving trophies to little kids doesn't condemn them to a life of entitlement. Taking trophies away won't lead them to a life of crime.
 
#100
#100
GAVol said:
That's a little different. I'm sure the kid would know about that beforehand. For that matter, I wouldn't have an issue if a parent came to me beforehand and said "don't get my kid a trophy.". I'd figure out a way to accommodate that.
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Again, why does it even matter? It's a 5-6 year old participation trophy.

I could see if the kid had a scholarship in hand and the parent denied the kid from using it where he wanted (April Justin).

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The two have been a bit estranged of late, and the draft wouldn't have been the first high-profile mother/son public disagreement. Justin became a national storyline, when she reacted with disgust that Collins picked Alabama over LSU on live TV.
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