Just finished loading the dishwasher which reminded me of some posts I saw further back - I do look in from time to time. First - I heartily agree that wives (even when lucid and normal) have no clue and obviously no business loading a dishwasher. As far as silverware, the best answer I've come up with for getting/keeping it clean involves reusing a container dishwasher pods come in. Finish tearing off the lid, add some detergent, fill about halfway with water, and just drop the silverware in until ready to use the dishwasher. Probably won't work quite as well for families who need to wash dishes at least once daily, but the detergent either dissolves the leftover food or keeps it soft for the dishwasher to do it's thing. The new Bosch dishwasher which I dislike has the top drawer with slots to put silverware and other small stuff in - that system works real well and keeps the bottom free for other stuff. My dislike isn't the brand; it's that in the move to save the environment taking out the heating element at the bottom leaves the dishes wet. I have a real problem with the concept of using a rinse agent of indeterminant chemical content and safety to coat the dishes so the water runs off.
Also when things don't work out in the kitchen, I tend to raid my toolbox. Strap wrenches work wonders for jars with stuck lids. Since my right thumb really hurts when clamping around a jar, the strap wrenches are a lifesaver. ND40 should invest in a pair ... and try to keep the remaining functional digits outside the jar to wrench contact area. After making hamburger patties according to wife rules in stacking Tupperware molds that refuse to unstack after freezing, I found just the tool in the toolbox - a definite fingernail saver. Can't remember the original use, but I think it was a brake tool for drum brakes. What would be the "clamp end" is a spreader and notched probably for removing the brake springs. Works pretty well under the Tupperware edges if you are gentle and patiently work the lid loose.