Recruiting Forum Football Talk XVIII

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#5,304
#5,304
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#5,305
#5,305
Also, it's good for the heart to see the positive updates from OB and SKV. Our children are so precious and I pray for all of them every day. I will continue to give Ashlee and Sutton extra prayers even though they are home. God is Great!
 
#5,307
#5,307
Hi all,
I wish I had better news but I don't....

She died last night. I honestly don't know what we're going to do now. I don't know what the world is like without her and feel like I've lost some of my own identity - she loved me from day one and treated me as if I were her own. She was the kinda person everyone wanted for a mom and while I don't open my heart too easily, I did for her. She was truly better than this world. And if I'm heartbroken (which I am) the SO is positively shattered. I'm trying my best to hide my tears and be strong and so far I've done pretty good hiding them.

If the heartbreak weren't enough there's the added expenses. I don't know how we'll pay for her funeral (no life insurance) or how we're going to take care of her mortgage.

First and foremost I'm heartbroken beyond belief. Now I'm going through a bit of a shock/numb phase (I go from crying my eyes out to wondering what we're gonna do). I'm terrified about the financial aspects of it all. I don't know how we'll ever make it through this - we don't have the resources.

I just have to trust that somehow some way we will get through this even if I have no clue how. I may be deluding myself about the finances but I've got to believe it for my own sanity.Please pray and/or think good thoughts for us. We've got to find a way through this somehow.

Thank you for all the prior prayers/positive vibes. Words can't describe what they mean to me.
 
#5,308
#5,308
UTProf said:
Hi all,
I wish I had better news but I don't....

She died last night. I honestly don't know what we're going to do now. I don't know what the world is like without her and feel like I've lost some of my own identity - she loved me from day one and treated me as if I were her own. She was the kinda person everyone wanted for a mom and while I don't open my heart too easily, I did for her. She was truly better than this world. And if I'm heartbroken (which I am) the SO is positively shattered. I'm trying my best to hide my tears and be strong and so far I've done pretty good hiding them.

If the heartbreak weren't enough there's the added expenses. I don't know how we'll pay for her funeral (no life insurance) or how we're going to take care of her mortgage.

First and foremost I'm heartbroken beyond belief. Now I'm going through a bit of a shock/numb phase (I go from crying my eyes out to wondering what we're gonna do). I'm terrified about the financial aspects of it all. I don't know how we'll ever make it through this - we don't have the resources.

I just have to trust that somehow some way we will get through this even if I have no clue how. I may be deluding myself about the finances but I've got to believe it for my own sanity.Please pray and/or think good thoughts for us. We've got to find a way through this somehow.

Thank you for all the prior prayers/positive vibes. Words can't describe what they mean to me.
Click to expand...

So sorry prof. I'll definitely keep you and yours in my prayers. Keep this in mind, you don't have to tackle all those things at once. It is my understanding that funeral homes will work with people that are financially strained. Coastypop could be a good resource for you as that is his thing.

As to the home, did she have any equity in the home? If so you could sell the home to help pay for the expenses and get rid of the mortgage. That is assuming you do not live there which after reading your post it sounds like you may.

Anyway, you will be in my thoughts today and I'm truly sorry that this happened.
 
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#5,311
#5,311
UTProf said:
Hi all,
I wish I had better news but I don't....

She died last night. I honestly don't know what we're going to do now. I don't know what the world is like without her and feel like I've lost some of my own identity - she loved me from day one and treated me as if I were her own. She was the kinda person everyone wanted for a mom and while I don't open my heart too easily, I did for her. She was truly better than this world. And if I'm heartbroken (which I am) the SO is positively shattered. I'm trying my best to hide my tears and be strong and so far I've done pretty good hiding them.

If the heartbreak weren't enough there's the added expenses. I don't know how we'll pay for her funeral (no life insurance) or how we're going to take care of her mortgage.

First and foremost I'm heartbroken beyond belief. Now I'm going through a bit of a shock/numb phase (I go from crying my eyes out to wondering what we're gonna do). I'm terrified about the financial aspects of it all. I don't know how we'll ever make it through this - we don't have the resources.

I just have to trust that somehow some way we will get through this even if I have no clue how. I may be deluding myself about the finances but I've got to believe it for my own sanity.Please pray and/or think good thoughts for us. We've got to find a way through this somehow.

Thank you for all the prior prayers/positive vibes. Words can't describe what they mean to me.
Click to expand...

Nothing makes it better but will continue praying for you and your loved ones.
 
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#5,312
#5,312
UTProf said:
Hi all,
I wish I had better news but I don't....

She died last night. I honestly don't know what we're going to do now. I don't know what the world is like without her and feel like I've lost some of my own identity - she loved me from day one and treated me as if I were her own. She was the kinda person everyone wanted for a mom and while I don't open my heart too easily, I did for her. She was truly better than this world. And if I'm heartbroken (which I am) the SO is positively shattered. I'm trying my best to hide my tears and be strong and so far I've done pretty good hiding them.

If the heartbreak weren't enough there's the added expenses. I don't know how we'll pay for her funeral (no life insurance) or how we're going to take care of her mortgage.

First and foremost I'm heartbroken beyond belief. Now I'm going through a bit of a shock/numb phase (I go from crying my eyes out to wondering what we're gonna do). I'm terrified about the financial aspects of it all. I don't know how we'll ever make it through this - we don't have the resources.

I just have to trust that somehow some way we will get through this even if I have no clue how. I may be deluding myself about the finances but I've got to believe it for my own sanity.Please pray and/or think good thoughts for us. We've got to find a way through this somehow.

Thank you for all the prior prayers/positive vibes. Words can't describe what they mean to me.
Click to expand...

I'm very sorry to hear that, Professor. We lost someone similar in our family this past winter. Life eventually finds itself a new normal, but it takes time.

As for the financial matters, try to seek the advice of knowledgeable people who know your situation. Take care.
 
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#5,313
#5,313
Vols4us said:
Then we both must must dish out the rambling drivel. The simplistic answer of what a third party says they saw in a practice in spring or even fall camp is as a useless as burnt toast in my book. The game. It's all about the game and the practice leading up to the game. Not trying to go all AI on everybody, but if you are buried on the depth chart throwing to scout teamers most of the time, there's not a lot to be focused about. The scheme was even designed and plays called to practice for Worley at QB. Josh knows he is being RS'd and then, boom, he's not. As Worley got blown up each week it got real for Josh, he could see what was coming before any of us did. Real players elevate their games when the lights go on. Dobbs is one of those guys. If people will be honest about it they saw flashes of what it could be his freshman year. Yet, we all knew he would sit the bench when this past season started.
Click to expand...

I can agree with this.
 
#5,317
#5,317
UTProf said:
Hi all,
I wish I had better news but I don't....

She died last night. I honestly don't know what we're going to do now. I don't know what the world is like without her and feel like I've lost some of my own identity - she loved me from day one and treated me as if I were her own. She was the kinda person everyone wanted for a mom and while I don't open my heart too easily, I did for her. She was truly better than this world. And if I'm heartbroken (which I am) the SO is positively shattered. I'm trying my best to hide my tears and be strong and so far I've done pretty good hiding them.

If the heartbreak weren't enough there's the added expenses. I don't know how we'll pay for her funeral (no life insurance) or how we're going to take care of her mortgage.

First and foremost I'm heartbroken beyond belief. Now I'm going through a bit of a shock/numb phase (I go from crying my eyes out to wondering what we're gonna do). I'm terrified about the financial aspects of it all. I don't know how we'll ever make it through this - we don't have the resources.

I just have to trust that somehow some way we will get through this even if I have no clue how. I may be deluding myself about the finances but I've got to believe it for my own sanity.Please pray and/or think good thoughts for us. We've got to find a way through this somehow.

Thank you for all the prior prayers/positive vibes. Words can't describe what they mean to me.
Click to expand...

You and your family will be added to my prayers. Turn to God and trust in him. Hold tight to your SO and don't worry about the finances. Those are secondary to taking care of each other during your time of grief.
 
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#5,318
#5,318
Billy Antrim said:
Tennessee Vols: Don't worry! Josh Dobbs' aerospace internship won't mess with football | FOX Sports

:rock:
Click to expand...

That's an awesome picture of him too:

042815-CFB-FULL-STEAM-AHEAD-OB-pi.vadapt.955.high.0.jpg
 
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#5,319
#5,319
InVOLuntary said:
So sorry prof. I'll definitely keep you and yours in my prayers. Keep this in mind, you don't have to tackle all those things at once. It is my understanding that funeral homes will work with people that are financially strained. Coastypop could be a good resource for you as that is his thing.

As to the home, did she have any equity in the home? If so you could sell the home to help pay for the expenses and get rid of the mortgage. That is assuming you do not live there which after reading your post it sounds like you may.

Anyway, you will be in my thoughts today and I'm truly sorry that this happened.
Click to expand...

Yeah we're there now. Her husband died about 2 years ago and then she had to undergo major knee surgery and hip surgery (she also had more metal in her back from an accident than seems possible) but her husband's death and later her surgery happened just as our lease was up for renewal.

Since she needed us there to help her on occasion and their place is really an upstairs/downstairs duplex it only made sense to move in for a while, especially since she was so physically disabled.

I don't know about equity. I mean they/she had always paid on time and obviously there is outstanding loan. We're not on the mortgage tho (SO is an only child) and at the moment that gives us some negotiating ability. The house is not gonna move (it's in the boondocks) and straight up a ridge. I'm hoping they will be open to (a) some debt relief where we can put off payment for a few months and (b) a much lower lump sum payoff - they've made they're money a billion times over as it was damn near a predatory loan they got stuck in.

Otherwise, they will be stuck with an unsellable house and they know it. We are in the position to walk away if we want.

However, between the mortgage payments, two car payments, our student loans, an outrageous KUB bill, and other bills we could teeter over the edge in the short term which could screw us in the long term even tho a few months to figure out a way to get things taken care of would likely work things out (sigh). And then there's the funeral expenses which we just don't have saved - this came out of nowhere.

BTW, thx for the advice.
 
#5,320
#5,320
glichtenwalter said:
You and your family will be added to my prayers. Turn to God and trust in him. Hold tight to your SO and don't worry about the finances. Those are secondary to taking care of each other during your time of grief.
Click to expand...

Thx. I think I'm worrying about finances because they could turn out to mess us up big BUT more than that when I truly think about how much I loved this woman and how much she love me, I bawl and bawl.

I'm cycling between shock, numbness/zombie Prof, and raw emotion I can't contain well. BUT I can't let the SO see the tears or afford to break down even for a little bit because I must be strong - I know that with all my heart. At lest, that's true for right now.
 
#5,321
#5,321
UTProf said:
Yeah we're there now. Her husband died about 2 years ago and then she had to undergo major knee surgery and hip surgery (she also had more metal in her back from an accident than seems possible) but her husband's death and later her surgery happened just as our lease was up for renewal.

Since she needed us there to help her on occasion and their place is really an upstairs/downstairs duplex it only made sense to move in for a while, especially since she was so physically disabled.

I don't know about equity. I mean they/she had always paid on time and obviously there is outstanding loan. We're not on the mortgage tho (SO is an only child) and at the moment that gives us some negotiating ability. The house is not gonna move (it's in the boondocks) and straight up a ridge. I'm hoping they will be open to (a) some debt relief where we can put off payment for a few months and (b) a much lower lump sum payoff - they've made they're money a billion times over as it was damn near a predatory loan they got stuck in.

Otherwise, they will be stuck with an unsellable house and they know it. We are in the position to walk away if we want.

However, between the mortgage payments, two car payments, our student loans, an outrageous KUB bill, and other bills we could teeter over the edge in the short term which could screw us in the long term even tho a few months to figure out a way to get things taken care of would likely work things out (sigh). And then there's the funeral expenses which we just don't have saved - this came out of nowhere.

BTW, thx for the advice.
Click to expand...

You guys are in my thoughts and prayers, Prof. I'm so sorry for your loss and this difficult time.
 
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#5,323
#5,323
UTProf said:
Thx. I think I'm worrying about finances because they could turn out to mess us up big BUT more than that when I truly think about how much I loved this woman and how much she love me, I bawl and bawl.

I'm cycling between shock, numbness/zombie Prof, and raw emotion I can't contain well. BUT I can't let the SO see the tears or afford to break down even for a little bit because I must be strong - I know that with all my heart. At lest, that's true for right now.
Click to expand...

Be strong but don't be afraid to mourn together. Often when facing such tremendous grief it's not words that comfort us but having some to express emotions with and demonstrate they share our pain.
 
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#5,325
#5,325
UTProf said:
Hi all,
I'm terrified about the financial aspects of it all. I don't know how we'll ever make it through this - we don't have the resources.
e.
Click to expand...

Prof, thinking of you in your hard times. This is meant to sound reassuring, but no matter which way I type it it comes out as crass, so here goes: you are not the first person this had happened to. Breathe deep, take care of your emotional needs first. Then later worry about the finances. There should be all kinds of resources in the community to look to for this exact scenario. You might try calling a local Legal Aid office for assistance or at least a springboard to find help. It's out there.
Take care of you and your SO first.
 
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