Recruiting Forum Football Talk XVIII

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#5,326
#5,326
bluegrasser said:
Prof, thinking of you in your hard times. This is meant to sound reassuring, but no matter which way I type it it comes out as crass, so here goes: you are not the first person this had happened to. Breathe deep, take care of your emotional needs first. Then later worry about the finances. There should be all kinds of resources in the community to look to for this exact scenario. You might try calling a local Legal Aid office for assistance or at least a springboard to find help. It's out there.
Take care of you and your SO first.
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Thx bluegrasser (those I missed too). Part of me knows I'm very likely blowing things out of proportion but I can't help it, ya know? It's the short term thing not the long term. I mean it's still something to really work out and it's gonna be hard and we're gonna need a lot of support temporarily. BUT it won't last either.

I guess I've just had my world completely rocked. So damn unexpected happened to someone who everybody (no exaggeration) loved. And we don't even know the cause of death was. And I feel so damn helpless too.

FWIW, I'm back on the emotional rollercoaster again. This death is really, really, hard for some reason. And like I said (despite being back in the deep mourning phase), the finance thing provides a bit of a distraction from that. I still need to seek out help for it all tho.

BTW, thank you Vol Nation RF from the bottom of my heart. I've read every word and am eternally grateful.
 
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#5,327
#5,327
volssam said:
@Cassidy_Rob: .@rivalsmike takes a look at where some former three-stars could land in next year's Draft. http://t.co/Y9n6A5ebEe http://t.co/2NV9yirRr7


.
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"We undershot this one a bit."

It's okay, Farrell... you can be honest. This was much more than 'a bit'. You really screwed this one up.

He was a mid-tier three star as a recruit, but his college resume (instant starter & best player in the secondary, ability to play the run and screen game as well as the pass over the top, potential first round pick after three years in college) is consistent with a five star. You can't miss by much more than this. And the dumb part is, even if he didn't have the eye to see Sutton's ability from a scouting perspective, he could have taken one glance at the kid's offer list and known that 'three star' was BS in this case.

I'm definitely overreacting to this, but Farrell's attitude irritates me. Rant over.
 
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#5,329
#5,329
Go Fight Win said:
Things looking good on Von front
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Can you give us anymore? Regardless. I'm def. pleased with any good news no matter how large or small.
yes.gif
 
#5,331
#5,331
He's enrolled for 1st and 2nd term summer classes. I've spoken to individuals closer to the situation who feel confident he will be back as early as a couple weeks and "almost definitely" by fall.
 
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#5,332
#5,332
UTProf said:
Yeah we're there now. Her husband died about 2 years ago and then she had to undergo major knee surgery and hip surgery (she also had more metal in her back from an accident than seems possible) but her husband's death and later her surgery happened just as our lease was up for renewal.

Since she needed us there to help her on occasion and their place is really an upstairs/downstairs duplex it only made sense to move in for a while, especially since she was so physically disabled.

I don't know about equity. I mean they/she had always paid on time and obviously there is outstanding loan. We're not on the mortgage tho (SO is an only child) and at the moment that gives us some negotiating ability. The house is not gonna move (it's in the boondocks) and straight up a ridge. I'm hoping they will be open to (a) some debt relief where we can put off payment for a few months and (b) a much lower lump sum payoff - they've made they're money a billion times over as it was damn near a predatory loan they got stuck in.

Otherwise, they will be stuck with an unsellable house and they know it. We are in the position to walk away if we want.

However, between the mortgage payments, two car payments, our student loans, an outrageous KUB bill, and other bills we could teeter over the edge in the short term which could screw us in the long term even tho a few months to figure out a way to get things taken care of would likely work things out (sigh). And then there's the funeral expenses which we just don't have saved - this came out of nowhere.

BTW, thx for the advice.
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I'm so sorry. Only time can heal what words can't, but lots of fellow Vols are sending you support today.

Take care of yourself and your SO first-- and there will be assistance available for the rest. When you get past the immediate family needs, you can find a financial/debt advisor who will give you a free consultation and tell you how best to proceed with the mortgage and other obligations. There are federal programs for mortgage relief, if you want to keep the house-- and most mortgage companies will restructure the loan to make it more affordable for your situation. Utilities have assistance programs as well. You're not alone-- there are safety nets out there.
 
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#5,333
#5,333
Go Fight Win said:
He's enrolled for 1st and 2nd term summer classes. I've spoken to individuals closer to the situation who feel confident he will be back as early as a couple weeks and "almost definitely" by fall.
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What about the Paulk situation is he enrolled for classes this summer. If so I think that will tell us a lot about him as well.
 
#5,338
#5,338
UTProf said:
Thx. I think I'm worrying about finances because they could turn out to mess us up big BUT more than that when I truly think about how much I loved this woman and how much she love me, I bawl and bawl.

I'm cycling between shock, numbness/zombie Prof, and raw emotion I can't contain well. BUT I can't let the SO see the tears or afford to break down even for a little bit because I must be strong - I know that with all my heart. At lest, that's true for right now.
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Sorry for your loss. On finances, I have seen a lot of people lately setting up gofundme pages and sharing them on social media with friends and friend of your family. then they will share with their friends. I think they do take % fee though from each donation.
 
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#5,339
#5,339
LA Vol said:
I'm so sorry. Only time can heal what words can't, but lots of fellow Vols are sending you support today.

Take care of yourself and your SO first-- and there will be assistance available for the rest. When you get past the immediate family needs, you can find a financial/debt advisor who will give you a free consultation and tell you how best to proceed with the mortgage and other obligations. There are federal programs for mortgage relief, if you want to keep the house-- and most mortgage companies will restructure the loan to make it more affordable for your situation. Utilities have assistance programs as well. You're not alone-- there are safety nets out there.
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THANK YOU! Y'all have truly been great. Not only have y'all been stellar on the support on the end, (good advice, supporting me through this and just general support to helping me though, supplying personal stories I can take things away from) but VN RF has also been great on advising me about the minutia and logitics of things I've never had to deal with, who to go to in various areas/fields, what to ask about, supplying names of orgs and people who might be able to help etc.

The responses once again prove that Vol Nation has the best damn fans on the planet, IMO, or at least very|close to the best. Knowing you have options if the worst happens is awesome and is a real comfort right now.

I've taken a lot of notes and it feels good to have a plan for everything. I feel like I can finally focus on just mourning, taking over the planning for the funeral, and being strong for the SO. That feels good.

Oh and the news on VP (just hope like hell the news on him stays good) has got me like :
dirol.gif
 
#5,341
#5,341
UTProf said:
Thx. I think I'm worrying about finances because they could turn out to mess us up big BUT more than that when I truly think about how much I loved this woman and how much she love me, I bawl and bawl.

I'm cycling between shock, numbness/zombie Prof, and raw emotion I can't contain well. BUT I can't let the SO see the tears or afford to break down even for a little bit because I must be strong - I know that with all my heart. At lest, that's true for right now.
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Even though you want to be strong for your SO, don't bury emotional turmoil. It will be worse for both of you in the long run. It's best to be upfront with your emotions now and accept the death as reality. This comes from personal experience of screwing myself up by doing that exact thing

I've experienced death both suddenly (my dad) and drawn out and painful (my little brother), through that one thing I have learned is:

There is no such thing as an unexpected death; for we all walk upon the unsteady precipice of life and death daily.

You just have to cherish those you love while they live and hold tight to the good memories once they are gone.
 
#5,343
#5,343
orangeblood79 said:
Dinner in bed...at home!

It's been a long day but we were discharged around 1830 today and have been non-stop ever since. She's still eating through her NG tube and is on multiple medications but...we're home.

Thank you, God, we're home.

Thanks for all the kind words and prayers, everyone. There's power in it, my family can attest.
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Awesome. Great news.
 
#5,346
#5,346
Aesius said:
Happy not just for the team but also for Von. I would hate to see him throw away this opportunity.
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Same here. Hope it all works out for Von. Really like his 2nd chance story and want him to succeed. What happened recently should be a HUGE lesson learned..
 
#5,349
#5,349
Butch gon Butch


@BruceFeldmanCFB: #Tennessee football posts a UT-record 2.85 team GPA this semester & 51 #Vols w/ a 3.0+ GPA--up from 12 such players before Jones arrived
 
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