The 10,000,000 th Post Countdown Thread.

#229
#229
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
 
#233
#233
girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to, but if you press a wrong button you're done!!
 
#237
#237
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer.
When asked to define “great” he said “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
 
#238
#238
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”
“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.
“Do you have the container it comes in?”
“Yes!” says the blonde, “I will go and get it.”
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, push up bottom.”
 
#239
#239
Two Blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar,” The second Blonde said, “let me look!” The first Blonde handed her the compact. The second Blonde looked in the mirror and said, “You dummy, it’s me!
 
#240
#240
an admin finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It´s so large, they have to do a brain transplant.

His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. ´there´s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of admin brains for $800 an ounce´

The outraged admin says ´this is a rip off! How come the admin brains are so damned expensive?

The doctor replies...
´do you know how many admins it takes to get an ounce of brains´?
 
#241
#241
So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I am afraid, far more widely distributed. But it has its value, I think. The hard and sordid things of life are too hard and too sordid and too cruel for us to know and touch them year after year without some mitigating influence, some kindly veil to draw over them, from time to time, to blur the craggy outlines, and make the thorns less sharp and the cruelties less malignant.

- "A Humorist's Confession" -

Mark twain
 
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#243
#243
You Might Be A Redneck…

IF your wife has ever said, “Come in here an move this transmission so I can take a bath.!”
 
#244
#244
:lolabove::lolabove:
 

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#246
#246
ruggy1 said:
an admin finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It´s so large, they have to do a brain transplant.

His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. ´there´s a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of admin brains for $800 an ounce´

The outraged admin says ´this is a rip off! How come the admin brains are so damned expensive?

The doctor replies...
´do you know how many admins it takes to get an ounce of brains´?
Click to expand...

Truth.
 
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#250
#250
We locked the thread because your crude joke was unsuitable here. Since you seem to want to call attention to it, we've gone a step further and deleted the thread. Is the message getting through now?
 
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