Some observations and possible solutions:
$87K in student loans & you're an unemployed printer repairman? WTH was the 87K for? Certainly not for an MBA in printer repair.
Would you hire him looking like that?
College Senior yet can't get a job? Hard to beleive she can't get a part time job while going to school. Speaking of which - she should take a spelling class so her resume doesnt look like it was written by a five year old.
What kind of a job did they expect with a BA in Theatre?
A 2 time felon with $10K in medical bills? Maybe one has something to do with the other? Gunshot wounds can be expensive, yo!
Eat your freaking cat.
Yes, you DO need help with your mental health.
Girl, sell drugs - NOT your body. Someone would need a lot of drugs before they would be willing to spend money buying your body.
A B.A. in theater and you cant pay the bills? Who knew?
A 20 year old disabled on welfare. All I have to look forward to is you being on the dole for the next sixty years?
A self employed portrait painter? LOL! Yeah - if only some bank would give a loan to the unemployed - THEN she could find work. I never needed a loan to get a job - I needed a job to avoid getting a loan.