"So, Justin, do you like going to college for free?"
"Yes, Coach."
"Do you have any marketable skills I don't know about? Woodworking, poetry, good math abilities, something like that?"
"No, Coach. I'm a quarterback."
"So you think it might behoove you to pay attention to the damn game, stop abusing the worms of Shields-Watkins Field, and start putting the literacy back into read-option? Because if you don't, we're both gonna be unemployed in 2 years."