Thread for your "Paul Bain-esque" Joe Milton one-liners

[BruisedOrange]

I think we are jumping the Shark.

Exactly. I wanted a place for everyone to get their over-the-top August hype for the coming season out of their system.

 

[GreyWolf1129]

The windows at Neyland Stadium had to be changed to armored glass...'cause Joe Milton's passes break the sound barrier.

Go Vols.

 

[stevenrich2003]

I saw a former coach said " I discovered Joe. " Ha! Shut up dude that is like saying you discovered sunshine.

 

[1974Vol]

When we need to run out the clock we get Big Joe to throw the ball high and deep. After a couple or three earthly orbits the games over!

 

[GreyWolf1129]

Joe Milton can kick ass with both feet on the ground...

Go Vols.

 

[ankh83]

I caught a pass from Joe Milton once, it rewound my watch.

 

[stolitonic]

I caught a pass from Joe Milton once, it rewound my watch.

Cought a pass from Milton one time. I kinda miss my hands-wonder where they ended up?

 

[DirtyDawg]

Cought a pass from Milton one time. I kinda miss my hands-wonder where they ended up?

Yeah, I caught a pass from Joe once. I spent the next year on an island somewhere in the Atlantic. Luckily I had Wilson Jr (the ball Joe threw me) for company.

 

[BACKDOC]

Remembering Rod Wilks is like staring at the sun. A mere man can't keep it up for long without hurting himself.

Trump can.

 

[BACKDOC]

Joe can throw a ball so hard; the pig's grandchildren are gonna feel it.

 

[DeusExMachina]

Some say......that he is terrified of bells, and that sometimes he chooses to sleep inside out. All we know is, he's called Joe Milton.

 

[Vol in Buckeye Land]

In high school, if Joe was late to practice, he made the coach run stairs.

 

[Vol in Buckeye Land]

The Candyman refuses to say Joe Milton’s name 5 times in a mirror.

 

[molsen81]

Milton rolls right, no one open, he takes off to go head on with the defender. NO WAY! DID YOU SEE THAT? MILTON EATS A SUPER MUSHROOM AND PERFORMS A GOOMBA STOMP ON THE POOR DEFENSIVE BACK..........Oh my! He's sensational!

Wait.......that's not a one-liner......

 

[GreyWolf1129]

Some kids pee their name in the snow. Joe Milton pees his name into concrete.

 

[bullet20]

When Joe Milton throws the ball it flies so fast it takes 2 people to watch it 1 to say here it comes the other to say there it goes

 

[ttocswob]

Moe Jilton? Nah, just doesn't have the same impact as Baul Pain...

 

[orangelo]

Joe Milton CAN believe it’s not butter

 

[Russdaddy2027]

We all know why that Chinese balloon chose to bypass flying over Knoxville...Bazooka Joe would've brought her down

 

[Vol737]

The gravitational pull of a Joe Milton spiral pulls the Sun toward the Earth!

 

[Volfan1000]

Joe Milton threw a ball so hard that Superman had trouble catching it.

 

[Zues1]

Chuck Norris let a Joe Milton pass go right through his hands.

 

[GreyWolf1129]

Joe Milton won a Punt, Pass, and Kick competition…without punting or kicking.

 

[BruisedOrange]

Joe Milton won a Punt, Pass, and Kick competition…without punting or kicking.

Do they still have that? Wonder what Milton III did in that competition?
Back then he probably wasn't 6'5" with punkin-palming sized hands. Might've handicapped his passing...

 

[BruisedOrange]

After the last scrimmage, Dobbs challenged Milton III to throwing balls into a garbage can in the corner of the end zone, from the 50 yard line. Dobbs won, putting 4 of 20 into the garbage can.

The best Milton III could do was toss 3 of 20 into a dumpster

...behind the Kroger on Kingston Pike.