What is the one thing you felt you were the least prepared for with adulthood?

#29
#29
Two things. One general and one specific.

1. Putting a spouse before you. It's easy to do that with children. It's kinda natural to put them first. But not so natural to do that for a spouse. I still feel selfish after all these years.

2. Having a child with an opiate addiction. That's brutal and sucks in all family members into a black hole of stress and emotion. On a positive it made me understand something I thought was all about losers.
 
#32
#32
Brave Volunteer said:
I think most people once they are faced with adulthood find things about being a responsible adult they just don't feel they were prepared for. There are aspects about adult life that either your parents didn't properly prepare you for or you underestimated it's impact on your life. My question to all of you is, what would that one thing be for you??

I can tell you without hesitation that mine is time management. It's something that I struggle with almost on a daily/weekly basis. When I was single it wasn't much of an issue. However now that I'm married and have 2 kids, I find myself feeling frustrated at having hardly any time at all just for myself anymore. I love my wife and kids dearly, however it really can feel imprisoning at times when so much time and energy is devoted to them. There are days where I feel like I want to come home and the house just be completely empty and I can enjoy the sweet sound of silence. However those days never come. Is there a true solution? Probably not. It's just an internal struggle I have to grin and bare. I wonder if my Mom and Dad ever felt that way when I was a kid?
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I will second this. I love my kids and wife dearly and try not to take the time with them for granted. However, there are times I just want 2-3 hours to myself to just read, what a movie, or just work on a personal side project without having to answer to anyone during that time.

It's not as bad before kids. When it's just the two of you there is plenty of time for each other and some seperate time. Once kids come into the picture then 95% of your time is devoted to them. The remaining time you need to decide to each other leaving nothing for personal time.
 
#34
#34
Enlarged or old prostate...sucks realizing you have to pee and literally having to pee right then...like two minutes tops.

My doc said Flomax or daily Cialis, insurance pays for both...guess which one I chose?
 
#35
#35
VolMax said:
Enlarged or old prostate...sucks realizing you have to pee and literally having to pee right then...like two minutes tops.

My doc said Flomax or daily Cialis, insurance pays for both...guess which one I chose?
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Definitely, go see Alice... but never more than 4 hours at a time.
 
#36
#36
VolMax said:
Enlarged or old prostate...sucks realizing you have to pee and literally having to pee right then...like two minutes tops.

My doc said Flomax or daily Cialis, insurance pays for both...guess which one I chose?
Click to expand...

We gonna see you on a commercial now?
 
#39
#39
I hate doing stuff like finding doctors and dentists. I graduated not that long ago and moved to where I didn't know anybody so I can ask recommendations, but screening them on yelp or something and making sure they are on the same insurance is a pain to me. Just never something I had to worry about growing up
 
#40
#40
that going to bed early isnt as bad as it was when I was young

that early drinking doesnt mean you're an alchy. It means you can drink and get a good night sleep

that it doesnt matter how much money you make, you will always have the same $10 in your account the day before payday
 
#41
#41
That moment when I walked through the door with a baby carrier, sat it down and tried to figure out what I was going to do next.
 
#42
#42
GAVol said:
That moment when I walked through the door with a baby carrier, sat it down and tried to figure out what I was going to do next.
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lol For me it was that moment when you walk out of the hospital and put that tiny baby in the car seat, then you look around and think, "So they're just gonna let us drive away with this little baby?? Without a manual or instructions or anything???"
 
#44
#44
The constant stress of realizing how many people are depending on you. Family, work, etc.
 
#45
#45
One thing I wasn't prepared for was the reality of aging and "growing up". I had always anticipated some grown-up version of myself who thought grown-up thoughts and knew grown-up things. And while I guess both of those did happen, I wasn't prepared to just be the same old me as when I was a teen, only with better judgment.

There's no doubt I'm a very, very different person at 50 than I was at 15 but I feel like I'm still figuring out how to be a grown-up every day. And the sense of identity I had as a kid is still the same exact one, only the things I value have changed, my physical experience continues changing, and when I let myself dwell on it my sense of mortality is a little more immediate.

And of course, getting married and having kids each put other people ahead of myself on my priority list, which was a revelation in itself. But even then in my mind I'm still a kid in a responsible role, constantly figuring it out or faking it, whichever gets things done.

Altogether, what I'm getting at is that I wasn't prepared for those universal feelings of "Wow, I'm a 30-year-old?" "Wow, I'm a 40-year-old?" "Wow, I'm a 50-year-old?" which I'm sure is what my parents feel approaching 80, and so will I (if I'm lucky).

One thing that hasn't changed: I'm still long-winded.
 
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#46
#46
Vet bills.

I was raised as an animal lover so I was always destined to have dogs and cats. When I eventually got my own pets and had to start paying the vet bills I was, and still am, shocked every time I'm handed the invoice.
 
#47
#47
pismonque said:
lol For me it was that moment when you walk out of the hospital and put that tiny baby in the car seat, then you look around and think, "So they're just gonna let us drive away with this little baby?? Without a manual or instructions or anything???"
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LMAO! I've been there! I swear, that drive home from the hospital when my first son was born, I must have been doing like 15 mph on the interstate that day!
 
#48
#48
pismonque said:
One thing I wasn't prepared for was the reality of aging and "growing up". I had always anticipated some grown-up version of myself who thought grown-up thoughts and knew grown-up things. And while I guess both of those did happen, I wasn't prepared to just be the same old me as when I was a teen, only with better judgment.

There's no doubt I'm a very, very different person at 50 than I was at 15 but I feel like I'm still figuring out how to be a grown-up every day. And the sense of identity I had as a kid is still the same exact one, only the things I value have changed, my physical experience continues changing, and when I let myself dwell on it my sense of mortality is a little more immediate.

And of course, getting married and having kids each put other people ahead of myself on my priority list, which was a revelation in itself. But even then in my mind I'm still a kid in a responsible role, constantly figuring it out or faking it, whichever gets things done.

Altogether, what I'm getting at is that I wasn't prepared for those universal feelings of "Wow, I'm a 30-year-old?" "Wow, I'm a 40-year-old?" "Wow, I'm a 50-year-old?" which I'm sure is what my parents feel approaching 80, and so will I (if I'm lucky).

One thing that hasn't changed: I'm still long-winded.
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To go along with this (and tell me if you feel this way too). No matter how old I get and how "mature" I think I am I somehow never feel like I'm as wise, mature, or responsible as my parents were, even when they were at the age I'm at now, LOL.
 
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#49
#49
burntorangeVOLffle said:
Vet bills.

I was raised as an animal lover so I was always destined to have dogs and cats. When I eventually got my own pets and had to start paying the vet bills I was, and still am, shocked every time I'm handed the invoice.
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Do you have your pets insured? I'm serious! I used to laugh at that notion but vet bills have gotten to the point to where it actually makes financial sense to do it.

My wife and I used to have two dogs. One has since passed on and the other is still alive, though getting very old. After she dies, we've decided that's it on pet owning, at least for a very long while. I don't even want to think about how much money we've spent over the last 12 years on dog food, vet visits, and just overall care and maintenance of our dogs.
 
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#50
#50
Brave Volunteer said:
To go along with this (and tell me if you feel this way too). No matter how old I get and how "mature" I think I am I somehow never feel like I'm as wise, mature, or responsible as my parents were, even when they were at the age I'm at now, LOL.
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Yeah. They were fooling us just like we're fooling ours, I figure. :p
 
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