lumberjack4
My Facts > Your Facts
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He can run on these items and win the Midwest and the West Coast:
1. Breaking up the Southeastern Conference
2. Prohibiting the selling, production and distribution of sweet tea
3. Mandate that individuals purchase carbon credits for laughing, passing gas and breathing.
4. Find suitable Section-8 housing for Oscar the Grouch
5. Require that all 18-21 year olds serve at least two summers protesting and marching in anti-Capitalist demonstrations
6. Promise to end the reign of King Friday and restore order to The Neighborhood of Make-Believe
If he'll campaign on these items, he would have a good chance of performing better than if he ran on his own record.
If he campaigned on this he wouldn't have to worry about winning the South. He'd be re-elected in a Reagan-esque landslide.