What's the dumbest thing you've ever said..

#26
#26
MG1968 said:
I once told my ex-wife the truth when she asked me if a particular outfit made her look fat.

Dumb at the time, but in hindsight it was completely worth it.
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My response to this:

I've seen you naked, quit blaming the dress/outfit.
 
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#30
#30
How bout for your bday, we'll go to the mall and you can pick out anything you want. Ugh, i was an amateur
 
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#31
#31
Grand Vol said:
And still alive to tell the tale?
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Yeah.


I broke her in early. It's my personality. I tease her. I aggravate her.


But she knows I'm hers. A young woman hit on me in front of her. My wife was like "he's married". Ole girl told her she didn't care.

We had to leave the club. Lol.

We are secure in our marriage. I give her crap all the time. Keeps her on her toes.
 
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#32
#32
Wickerhead said:
Dumbest thing I've ever said was one night not long ago to my wife. I was trying to get her turned on for some frisky time and after an hour and a half she said I can't, I think I'm about ready to start my (you know what). I said is your mouth tore up. I'm still suffering for this.
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You know they stop doing that after marriage
 
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#33
#33
about 3-4 years ago (in Illinois) on Mother's Day, we made reservations for the Mother's Day Brunch, at the clubhouse with our neighbors, they have 2 boys around my kids age..at the time the kids are between 3 and 9..

My neighbor and I play golf prior to going up for Brunch. So we tee of about 8:30 and start drinking beer on about the 4th hole. We finish about noon. Shower and change, at the clubhouse have a quick cocktail and then go over to pick up our wives and kids.

After drinking for about 4 hours, were hammered, but we pick them up, and go back up for Brunch...Our wives give us that look, like we can't believe it's Mother's Day, and you both are already drunk...

So were eating and everything's going really good, at least from my point of view. Our waiter comes over and Jack orders a beer, and I order a beam and coke. After I have 2, and I'm ordering a 3rd, my wife finally looks over and says, do you think that's enough how about another tea or water..

She's been having wine with Brunch and had just ordered a Cosmo, so the waiters still by our table as the exchange is going down. So in my state of mind, what I did next, I think is going to be funny..

I wave the waiter back to the table, and say could you switch her cosmo, to a shot of, STFU..

Well folks that went over like a "lead balloon, fart in church", you pick the expression they all fit.
 
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#34
#34
vol_in_ar said:
about 3-4 years ago (in Illinois) on Mother's Day, we made reservations for the Mother's Day Brunch, at the clubhouse with our neighbors, they have 2 boys around my kids age..at the time the kids are between 3 and 9..

My neighbor and I play golf prior to going up for Brunch. So we tee of about 8:30 and start drinking beer on about the 4th hole. We finish about noon. Shower and change, at the clubhouse have a quick cocktail and then go over to pick up our wives and kids.

After drinking for about 4 hours, were hammered, but we pick them up, and go back up for Brunch...Our wives give us that look, like we can't believe it's Mother's Day, and you both are already drunk...

So were eating and everything's going really good, at least from my point of view. Our waiter comes over and Jack orders a beer, and I order a beam and coke. After I have 2, and I'm ordering a 3rd, my wife finally looks over and says, do you think that's enough how about another tea or water..

She's been having wine with Brunch and had just ordered a Cosmo, so the waiters still by our table as the exchange is going down. So in my state of mind, what I did next, I think is going to be funny..

I wave the waiter back to the table, and say could you switch her cosmo, to a shot of, STFU..

Well folks that went over like a "lead balloon, fart in church", you pick the expression they all fit.
Click to expand...

:salute:

I bet your friend was like:
boy-that-escalated-quickly.jpg


I would have loved to see the look on everyone's face at the table.

After saying it, were you immediately like "OH... OH GOD"
 
#35
#35
Couldn't this be summed up with "everything I say is dumb" from the male perspective at least?

We're never right, so by proxy, everything we say is wrong and will be construed as "dumb."
 
#36
#36
I sneezed beside my wife the other day. I then stated, "sorry babe, I'm allergic to skank."

That didn't go over well.
 
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#37
#37
This could be one of the best threads Ive read on here...

Usually I just tell my wife "Shush! No I dont want to watch American Idol... Im busy reading VolNation to find out when Gruden is coming.... Now go in the kitchen and make me a Peanut Butter and Jelly Samwich!!"

That was 'one' of my many dumbest...


"Soon, d@mnit ... soon"
 
#38
#38
MidTNVolunteer said:
This could be one of the best threads Ive read on here...

Usually I just tell my wife "Shush! No I dont want to watch American Idol... Im busy reading VolNation to find out when Gruden is coming.... Now go in the kitchen and make me a Peanut Butter and Jelly Samwich!!"

That was 'one' of my many dumbest...


"Soon, d@mnit ... soon"
Click to expand...

*sammich :)
 
#42
#42
BigSteve09 said:
:salute:

I bet your friend was like:
boy-that-escalated-quickly.jpg


I would have loved to see the look on everyone's face at the table.

After saying it, were you immediately like "OH... OH GOD"
Click to expand...

I was sitting across from Jacks wife Lori
So I saw her reaction first and knew that I was in big trouble
 
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