*****Why I hate the Alabama Crimson Tide

#205
#205
Typical Alabama Fan

38 year-old grandfather of 6. He met his wife at the family reunion (see below).​
​
The only reason they call it Bama is because saying "Bama" with or without teeth sounds the same.​
​
He owns 14 t-shirts, thirteen of which have to do with Alabama football.​
​
The most important aspect of his life is that EVERYONE must know that Alabama is his favorite team at every moment of his life. He thinks about Bama football more than he thinks of sex. How do I proclaim my fandom to the world? he always ponders. His truck, his trailer, his clothes, his pets, his tattoos, his parole papers - all of them must include a reference to his Bama fandom.​
​
As soon as he gets finished revealing his bowels in the morning from his outhouse, he yells "Roll Tide".​
​
As he is making love to his 2nd cousin (see above), aka his wife, he yells "Roll Tide Roll".​
​
He ran a 4.8 in the 40 as a senior in high school for the football team when he was 23 years-old. The next day he ran a 4.2 out the back door of his granny's house because his grandpa found him "peekin' through the bathroom keyhole" at granny.​
​
While shopping at the Piggly Wiggly he hears the song "Dixie Land Delight" over the store speakers. He immediately stands at attention with his hand over his heart. At the end of the song, he instinctively yells "Roll Tide". Little does he know that this song is about Tennessee.​
​
He attends Alabama First Church of Christ (Bless him). When the offering is passed around each Sunday, there is an offering plate for the Lord, and a separate offering plate for "Nick Saban" to help next recruiting cycle. "Roll Tide".​
​
When he attends a funeral for a fellow Bama fan, he will substitute his "Big Al" car flag for the "Funeral" flag during the procession. Of course at the end of the funeral, he yells "Roll Tide" along with the 45 other members of the deceased family.​
​
He can't add or subtract; but they sure can multiply when it comes to National championships and first cousins.​
​
Fully half of all Bama fans have a dog, cat or more likely a son or daughter named Bear or Bryant. In 10 years you will see a bunch of 8-9 year old named Tua running around. Now you will understand why.​
 
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#207
#207
Day before the most HATED game on our schedule again.
Recently I've grown to hate this game because it represents an annual tail whipping we take from the Tide.
But it represents and is a reminder of more than that - it's a reminder of how far we have fallen.
How for the last decade plus UT has written the book on how NOT to build a championship football program.
A reminder of what once was and is now lost...

But alas in those reminders are glimmers and rays of hope.
Hope of what can be once again.
Glimmers like the incredible defensive performance the 2019 squad turned in even though the offense kept the turnover ratio solidly in Bama's favor.
Rays of sunshine peeking through like that 2009 squad that out distanced them by 100 yards only to be hampered a kicker that couldn't point to a goal post let alone put a ball through one.

So as we gear up and get ready for the 2020 revision of THE Third Saturday in October with all the questions and eventual answers it brings, let us remember that one day we will see those days of sunshine, grace, and championship football again.

By the way - it's Friday, and YEP - I still HATE the Alabama Crimson Tide !!!
 
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#209
#209
I HATE Alabama because they are Alabama. If you can't understand that, I can't understand it for you! There is NOTHING about them I like. GO VOLS!!!!!!!!!!
 
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#211
#211
Get up boys and girls...ITS GAMEDAY !!!


and yes for those keeping track...I STILL HATE THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE!!!
 
#212
#212
MadWorld said:
Typical Alabama Fan

38 year-old grandfather of 6. He met his wife at the family reunion (see below).​
​
The only reason they call it Bama is because saying "Bama" with or without teeth sounds the same.​
​
He owns 14 t-shirts, thirteen of which have to do with Alabama football.​
​
The most important aspect of his life is that EVERYONE must know that Alabama is his favorite team at every moment of his life. He thinks about Bama football more than he thinks of sex. How do I proclaim my fandom to the world? he always ponders. His truck, his trailer, his clothes, his pets, his tattoos, his parole papers - all of them must include a reference to his Bama fandom.​
​
As soon as he gets finished revealing his bowels in the morning from his outhouse, he yells "Roll Tide".​
​
As he is making love to his 2nd cousin (see above), aka his wife, he yells "Roll Tide Roll".​
​
He ran a 4.8 in the 40 as a senior in high school for the football team when he was 23 years-old. The next day he ran a 4.2 out the back door of his granny's house because his grandpa found him "peekin' through the bathroom keyhole" at granny.​
​
While shopping at the Piggly Wiggly he hears the song "Dixie Land Delight" over the store speakers. He immediately stands at attention with his hand over his heart. At the end of the song, he instinctively yells "Roll Tide". Little does he know that this song is about Tennessee.​
​
He attends Alabama First Church of Christ (Bless him). When the offering is passed around each Sunday, there is an offering plate for the Lord, and a separate offering plate for "Nick Saban" to help next recruiting cycle. "Roll Tide".​
​
When he attends a funeral for a fellow Bama fan, he will substitute his "Big Al" car flag for the "Funeral" flag during the procession. Of course at the end of the funeral, he yells "Roll Tide" along with the 45 other members of the deceased family.​
​
He can't add or subtract; but they sure can multiply when it comes to National championships and first cousins.​
​
Fully half of all Bama fans have a dog, cat or more likely a son or daughter named Bear or Bryant. In 10 years you will see a bunch of 8-9 year old named Tua running around. Now you will understand why.​
Click to expand...
The part about the t-shirts, every part of ones life revolving around Bama fandom, the "Dixieland Delight" reference (hilarious), and the naming of pets describes a friend of mine so perfect that it's terrifying. 😨
 
#213
#213
Here we go again boys and girls...moving past the Debacle in Knoxville and looking forward.
It's BAMA week and it's time to bump this one back to the top of the forum.

Here it is Monday and YEP, I still HATE the Alabama Crimson Tide.
FWIW - this past Saturday night is yet another reason I hate Bama...Headman of Evil Saban gave Kiffin of Arrogant a second chance and revival at coaching, which set into motion the events that transpired this week past...I know it's a reach but, just like the force, the hate runs deep too.
 
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#219
#219
I live here and deal with these fans everyday. Life is terrible here in south alabama and it's either divorce my wife or move and wife isn't going there so I'm in fan hell!
 
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