Dad Advice

#126
#126
Hoosier_Vol said:
Had to dig up this thread but I knew it was here...lol.....

Question,

Any advice on a 4 yr old throwing fits at bedtime? Our son is almost a perfect angel (seriously, I said ALMOST) all day until bedtime here the past month or so.....At bed time he'll lay down then start saying he wants different pillow case or a different blanket and after about 20 minutes it turns into a total fit for what seems like forever then he'll eventually get calmed down and fall asleep. We have pretty much figured it's him trying to fight sleep......any pointers or any others have a similar issue?
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How do you respond when you have to go deal with him a bunch of times? We have a 3 year 3 month old, and she does the same thing sometimes. In my experience, she only responds with tantrums when I lose it first. It is VERY frustrating to have to go in there so many times (ours is double-angering because it's upstairs and I JUST WANT TO SIT HERE AND DRINK MY DAMN BEER. All I can say (again, my experience), is keep your cool and it will pass after a few weeks. They're just after the attention they get when you come in their room to put them back.

One thing that helped with one of my kids (didn't work for all), is just quietly and very boring-ly come back in there and put them back, or give them their blanket, don't look at them, and put them back and leave, saying nothing (except maybe a soft "go to bed").

That's all I got.
 
#127
#127
Something that I found worked great for my family. My dad kind of started a variation of this with me and my brother growing up and I perfected it with my son💪. Go halves on anything of any value that they just have to have starting with the tricycles then bicycles then guns then vehicles. It teaches real world economics of if you break it then you either have to pay to fix it or keep paying for your broken unusable junk until it’s paid off (to you for your half) before you can get a replacement. For example when I was 13-14 I wanted to buy a new semi auto shotgun and my dad offered to go halves with me. I could afford to buy the gun outright since I worked in tobacco fields in the summer but free money is free right? If I didn’t take good care of it (cleaned and put up after use) my dad could demand damages for surface rust or scratches etc.... I still have that Remington 1100 in great condition despite being used a lot. I went halves with my son on a used 2000 Toyota 4 runner withlike 105k miles on it when he was almost 16. He was responsible for maintenance and upkeep and I paid insurance. He drove it thru high school , when he went to college at western Carolina 5 hours away, after graduation, married and just last year (he’s 27 now) I got our truck back since he has a company truck and he and his wife both have newer vehicles. That 4Runner has 300k miles and my wife drives it I lieu of her car when weather is bad. He took good care of it because he had to since he didn’t want dad to repo his half.
 
#135
#135
Carl Pickens said:
I once told a young man that came to the house to see one of my daughters “the river is deep and concrete’s cheap”
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There are times when I just randomly start thanking Jesus for having two boys. I’m just not sure I could handle girls. I’ve already got a niece that plays me like a harp and that’s enough.
 
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#136
#136
My daughter used to throw really bad temper tantrum‘s when she was three years old. At the time we were living in a condo, and I was worried that her screaming was bothering the neighbors. After quite a few meltdowns, and during one of them, I knocked on our front door and acted like I was talking to a police officer. I came in and told her that it was the police and that they were responding to a noise complaint. She got really scared and quiet. She never had another meltdown because she was afraid that the police would come. I later told her when she got older and she got mad at me, then she hugged me and we laughed about it.
 
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#137
#137
GAVol said:
There are times when I just randomly start thanking Jesus for having two boys. I’m just not sure I could handle girls. I’ve already got a niece that plays me like a harp and that’s enough.
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I would be in jail if I had a girl. From either harming her if she dressed in public like I see on a daily basis, or for letting a guy be all over her, OR just taking out the guy. Funny how dads view chasing tail as a teen verses a teen chasing their daughters tail.
 
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#138
#138
SDV said:
My daughter used to throw really bad temper tantrum‘s when she was three years old. At the time we were living in a condo, and I was worried that her screaming was bothering the neighbors. After quite a few meltdowns, and during one of them, I knocked on our front door and acted like I was talking to a police officer. I came in and told her that it was the police and that they were responding to a noise complaint. She got really scared and quiet. She never had another meltdown because she was afraid that the police would come. I later told her when she got older and she got mad at me, then she hugged me and we laughed about it.
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I have a nephew that was told if he kept doing what he was doing, he'd end up dead or in jail...He has a record. I'm glad it worked on your daughter.
 
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#140
#140
GAVol said:
There are times when I just randomly start thanking Jesus for having two boys. I’m just not sure I could handle girls. I’ve already got a niece that plays me like a harp and that’s enough.
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I have 4 girls…. When people find out they’ll often say something like “Omg, how do you do it?”…. My go to response is “I drink a lot.”
 
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#144
#144
GVF said:
I would be in jail if I had a girl. From either harming her if she dressed in public like I see on a daily basis, or for letting a guy be all over her, OR just taking out the guy. Funny how dads view chasing tail as a teen verses a teen chasing their daughters tail.
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Was at a hs football game years ago and was on my way to the restroom from the bleachers. Most of the kids hung out around the outside of the fence out of the bleachers to socialize. Spotted my daughter as I was making my way through the sea of teenagers and some boy unknown to her was behind her acting like a humping dog trying to amuse his buddies. Flew all over me so I treated him like I do my dogs and kicked him a hard one in the arse. He turned around ready to punch someone until he realized it was a dad who was demanding to know who his dad was as I was ready to give that guy an opportunity to whip my arse. Boy apologized profusely and said he rode to the game with a friend.

I went back to my seat and didn’t mention it to the mrs, hoping the police wouldn’t show up for me. Yes, it’s hard being a dad to a pretty daughter, not only for her issues but also dealing with the stupid poorly raised boys who bothered her. Can make you do irrational things.
 
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#145
#145
walkenvol said:
Was at a hs football game years ago and was on my way to the restroom from the bleachers. Most of the kids hung out around the outside of the fence out of the bleachers to socialize. Spotted my daughter as I was making my way through the sea of teenagers and some boy unknown to her was behind her acting like a humping dog trying to amuse his buddies. Flew all over me so I treated him like I do my dogs and kicked him a hard one in the arse. He turned around ready to punch someone until he realized it was a dad who was demanding to know who his dad was as I was ready to give that guy an opportunity to whip my arse. Boy apologized profusely and said he rode to the game with a friend.

I went back to my seat and didn’t mention it to the mrs, hoping the police wouldn’t show up for me. Yes, it’s hard being a dad to a pretty daughter, not only for her issues but also dealing with the stupid poorly raised boys who bothered her. Can make you do irrational things.
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You handled it about right, I'd say. Maybe just grab him snug by the collar next time and make him feel your man strength, just for the sake of liability. Tough situation. Was your daughter embarrassed?
 
#146
#146
n_huffhines said:
You handled it about right, I'd say. Maybe just grab him snug by the collar next time and make him feel your man strength, just for the sake of liability. Tough situation. Was your daughter embarrassed?
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I handled it poorly in hindsight and luckily my daughter was moving away and wasn’t a part of it. I should have pulled him aside and discussed it with him. Guess the rage of seeing my daughter treated that way blinded me? Helped me understand how some crimes of passion are committed although this was nothing on that level.

Surely she heard about it but it was never mentioned. Maybe the boy was the resident dipstick who bothered everyone and she was glad that she was removed from his annoyances? Life’s crazy sometimes
 
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