Dad Advice

#153
#153
GAVol said:
Seriously... I just don't feel like I missed out on anything. And I'm not the squeamish type either. I told the OBGYN that the only way I needed to cut anything is if it got me a discount.
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I had this misguided idea in my head that I needed to be there for the circumcision of my son. That was hellish and I still haven't gotten over it.
 
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#155
#155
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
 
#156
#156
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
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Oh man, that's rough. I've not been there, but I will pray for the situation.
 
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#157
#157
vader said:
I had this misguided idea in my head that I needed to be there for the circumcision of my son. That was hellish and I still haven't gotten over it.
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I had the good sense to wait in the hall. Then the doc told me what size ring they put on it cause most dads like to know. I'm thinking, I hope it grows and that's not an award.
 
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#158
#158
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
Click to expand...
Ouch. One thought (doubt it would be welcome to her):

“If he’ll cheat on her with you, he’ll cheat on you with someone else.”
 
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#160
#160
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
Click to expand...
Record a few 48 hours, Dateline and American Monster and show her what married women do to their cheating husbands and girlfriends
 
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#166
#166
n_huffhines said:
Not me
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Lol I figured, but it's a funny coincidence you're using a screenshot of him as your profile pic (or not and you googled your name and he came up). Doubt
Huff will be hanging out in the Dad Advice thread of VN. Cheerio.
 
#167
#167
mrmax86 said:
Lol I figured, but it's a funny coincidence you're using a screenshot of him as your profile pic (or not and you googled your name and he came up). Doubt
Huff will be hanging out in the Dad Advice thread of VN. Cheerio.
Click to expand...

I flipped on the Ocho once and he was on there and I snagged a pic
 
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#168
#168
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
Click to expand...

I can't offer advice from fatherhood perspective (the step-kids are 15 and 9), but I have had some close pals of mine find themselves entangled (so to speak) with a married person in the past...looking past the disappointment part of it (I was pretty damn shocked and disappointed in my pals), I reminded myself that they were adults. I vocalized my concerns and disappointment, but also did my best to compartmentalize that from the broader friendship. Some folks learn by others' mistakes, and other folks learn by making their own. It's by no means a 1:1 comparison to your case, but if you've tried to bring it up and warn her off, you have done all you can...hopefully your advice and words will sink in over time and, as @VolNExile mentioned, your daughter will come to the realization that she's seeing someone who has a demonstrated track record of cheating on their s.o., and he could do the same to her someday.
 
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#169
#169
volfannbama said:
Pro dad potty training tip for rookie dads.....I taught my sons to pee in the toilet by putting Alabama stickers in the bottom. Worked like a charm and had many benefits...
Boys potty training
Neither is an Alabama fan.
The told folks that they pee pee on Alabama.
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You should be so proud of your sons.
Hate Alabama early and often.
 
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#170
#170
tbh said:
I can't offer advice from fatherhood perspective (the step-kids are 15 and 9), but I have had some close pals of mine find themselves entangled (so to speak) with a married person in the past...looking past the disappointment part of it (I was pretty damn shocked and disappointed in my pals), I reminded myself that they were adults. I vocalized my concerns and disappointment, but also did my best to compartmentalize that from the broader friendship. Some folks learn by others' mistakes, and other folks learn by making their own. It's by no means a 1:1 comparison to your case, but if you've tried to bring it up and warn her off, you have done all you can...hopefully your advice and words will sink in over time and, as @VolNExile mentioned, your daughter will come to the realization that she's seeing someone who has a demonstrated track record of cheating on their s.o., and he could do the same to her someday.
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Thanks, I appreciate it.
 
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#172
#172
vader said:
I had this misguided idea in my head that I needed to be there for the circumcision of my son. That was hellish and I still haven't gotten over it.
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Yeah, they don’t really tell you that when you're in the hospital to have a baby there are times when a Dad should just tell his wife or kid good luck and go to the vending machine.
 
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#173
#173
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
Click to expand...

You're further along in your relationship than me - my son is 23 - but I have come to the conclusion that in affairs of the heart, a parent has little influence on the conduct of their children. I try to find solace in the fact that there is nothing I can do to dissuade him from risky (heart-wise) behavior. All you can do is help them when or if they crash and burn. And don't say "I told you so". Good luck.
 
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#174
#174
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
Click to expand...

Have you tried asking her questions that will make her think about the consequences of her actions? If it was my daughter, I would ask her questions like:

1) What would his wife think/do if she found out?
2) If he ends up getting divorced and marrying you, what makes you sure that he won’t cheat on you next?
3) What are your future plans with this man?
4) How long are you willing to keep sneaking around with him?
5) How would you react if you discovered that your husband was cheating on you?
6) As a child, how would you feel if you found out I was cheating on your mother?

I wouldn’t bombard her with all of these questions at once, but I’d start with one and hopefully build a conversation that really makes her think from there. I would try to avoid telling her that you are disappointed in her or that what she is doing is wrong. That approach has failed in the past and will not help her truly think about it. Just my 2 cents.
 
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#175
#175
mad4vols said:
I need dad advice from the other dads with adult children.
My daughter is 31 years old and she is seeing a married man that has two kids. I’m very disappointed in my daughter with her choice and I’m having a hard time dealing with the situation. Our relationship is fine otherwise but if I try to bring it up and tell her what she is doing is wrong she pushes me away completely.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this?
Any tips on keeping my sanity?
Click to expand...
I’ve not dealt with this but even if it happened I think they would hide it from me so I would probably be the last to know. That’s one that would steal a lot of sleep for sure. You can’t choose your family or who they marry. Best wishes
 
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