Things I trust more than the government:
1. Jeffrey Toobin leading a zoom call
2. A crack head with my wallet
3. Bill Cosby having drinks with my wife
4. Hunting with Dick Cheney
5. Walking down a dark alley in Memphis at 3 am
5. Bending over to pick up the soap in a prison shower
6. Derek Dooley, Lyle Jones, and Jeremy Pruitt running a college football program
7. Joe Biden walking up a flight of stairs
8. Leaving a box of doughnuts unattended at police station
9. Kroger sushi
10. My car’s extended warranty is about to expire