Favorite stand-up

#28
#28
golfballs03 said:
I guess my attempt to troll is ill-fated
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Foxworthy is funny, but this isn't the late 80's, early 90's when he was in his prime. Mullets are out of fashion and the Chevy Camaro and Ford Mustang are real cars now.
 
#31
#31
Andrew Dice Clay nursery rhymes
-Georgie Porgie Puddin' and Pie
Jerked off in his girlfriend's eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie ****ed that one eyed slut
-Hickory dickory dock,
Some chick was sucking my cock.
The the clock struck two,
I dropped my goo and dumped the ***** on the next block!
-Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her and said,
Yo, what's in the bowl *****?
-Jack Spratt could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean.
So Jack ignored her flabby tits,
And licked her ******* clean!
-Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I ****ed your mother's ass,
And she had you!
-Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
To get her old dog a bone
And when she bent over, Rover took over!
She got a bone of her own
 
#34
#34
Older:
Richard Pryor
Sam Kinison
Jay Hickman

Newer:
Chris Rock
John Caparulo
Mitch Hedberg
 
#40
#40
Currently

Daniel Tosh YouTube - Daniel Tosh
Kevin Hart YouTube - Kevin Hart jokes about his Muslim friend


Bernie Mac : Bernie Mac on Whites and Blacks at the Job
When white people go on break at their job. 15 minutes. They go to their desk. They eat their cheese sandwich. Drink their tea. 15 minutes they’re back on the ****ing job.
My people I don’t know what the **** is wrong with us. But when we go on break, that’s just what the **** we do…. we break. You got to look for our mother****ing ass. “You seen Johnny?”

John Hefron: I'm not saying older women are sluttier; I'm just saying, an older woman isn't gonna make you wait 'til three in the morning 'cause she's got sh*t to do the next day. She'll probably have you done by 10. She's got a meeting to get up for. Heck, if she has kids, you might get to leave with one of those cool Lunchables boxes -- get yourself a little snack pack for all the work you put in.
 
#41
#41
You be gettin' some weird sexual fantasies when you be on coke. Hey baby, I want you to climb on top of the house, I'm gonna run around it three times and on the third time I want you to jump down on my face.

That Bi**h looked so fine I wanted to suck her daddy's ****.

RP
 
#43
#43
PowerT83 said:
Currently

Daniel Tosh YouTube - Daniel Tosh
Kevin Hart YouTube - Kevin Hart jokes about his Muslim friend


Bernie Mac : Bernie Mac on Whites and Blacks at the Job
When white people go on break at their job. 15 minutes. They go to their desk. They eat their cheese sandwich. Drink their tea. 15 minutes they’re back on the ****ing job.
My people I don’t know what the **** is wrong with us. But when we go on break, that’s just what the **** we do…. we break. You got to look for our mother****ing ass. “You seen Johnny?”

John Hefron: I'm not saying older women are sluttier; I'm just saying, an older woman isn't gonna make you wait 'til three in the morning 'cause she's got sh*t to do the next day. She'll probably have you done by 10. She's got a meeting to get up for. Heck, if she has kids, you might get to leave with one of those cool Lunchables boxes -- get yourself a little snack pack for all the work you put in.
Click to expand...

hell yeah! atta boy for throwinin some jokes
 
#50
#50
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