Gotta get snipped

#27
#27
One more thing... the doctor held up the piece he cut out and asked, "would you like a souvenir?"

Nah, not really.
 
#28
#28
Most advice I have has already been covered, but I will add 1 helpful item. Ask your urologist if he uses IV versed during the procedure. It awesome if he does. You will not remember a single thing about the procedure if he pushes that drug during it. Complete game changer IMO.
 
#30
#30
vol_in_ar said:
Okay, here is the report, I will not candy coat it.

I walked into the office and the cute blond headed nurse says "follow me"
I get in the back and she instructs me to undress from the waist down, sit up on the table and cover myself with the little paper table cloth.
After I do this she instructs me to lay back. She then takes the table cloth away and places a blue napkin over the marble bag with a round hole cut in it, so the marble bag protrudes out nicely.
She walks over to the sink and whips up some mixture with warm water and then walks over and starts washing the marble bag with the warm mixture, all the while it is just me and her in the room.
She then takes Mr. Johnson and tapes him in an upright position to my lower stomach. She says "I have to do this because they tend to know what is going on and try to get in the way" She then places a sun lamp on him to try and warm things up and convince the twins to come out and play. So far, not bad at all...............................
Then comes Tarzan (I'll explain in a minute) who calls himself the doctor. He begins prodding around and poking. Puts on the rubber gloves and starts to go to work. Unbeknownst to me, Tarzan grabs the right marble and begins tugging. Evidently he wants to see how far they really will stretch. He's tugging and pulling and tugging and pulling, meantime my arse is sucking up the paper sheet that is on the table. One good thing is, I didn't have to put my legs up in the air, I just kinda laid there.
Finally, I'm about to let out a "Hey doc, is it on the floor yet?" and he quits pulling. The pulling itself was not bad, I never got the sensation that my heart was being tugged into the marble bag; it was just the pressure of him using my nad as a tie down strap that really hurt. He proceeds to warn me of the little stick, which was very little indeed, after that side was numb; I didn't feel any of the cutting and stitching, maybe because the throbbing from my crushed testicle took away from the other pain.

Now for the left one. He grabs it in the same fashion and starts tugging on it. This one evidently had seen what had just went on with his twin brother and wanted no part of it. I hear him say to the nurse, “He has a really big chord on this side” He tugs, and tugs, and tugs and I come to understand what it means to have your nads in a vice. I saw God for a moment, he was laughing. I almost passed out on this one, the cute nurse was kind enough to put a damp towel on my head. By this time I was sweating like Rodney King at a Policeman's Ball. I looked down in time to see him swinging off of it like Tarzan chasing Cheetah through the forest. I just knew this one was crushed.
After he finished pulling, my vision started to come back. Mr. Johnson figured he was next, so he wiggled free from the tape and was doing his best impression of a turtle getting his a$$ whooped in an ice storm under three feet of snow. (I knew the cute little nurse had to be thoroughly impressed)
He stuck it (Marble Sack and Ball Chord) with the needle, snipped and clipped, and stitched it up, none of this did I feel.
He was kind enough to pull me up off the table and his first instructions were to take the paper towel and wipe my butt off? It seems when Tarzan the ape man is swinging off your man berries you tend to sweat a puddle under you.
I kept ice on them for three days, lived off the couch, and faithfully took my pain pills. Now that I am back at work there is soreness and A LOT of bruising, and with the stitches sticking out the sides I look like Franken Sack.

My advice;
Don't pick ANYTHING up from a bending position
Don't bend over.
Keep Ice on It religiously even though you will shrink up to toddler size.
Take ALL of your pain pills on time and take all of them.
The Xanax he gives you to take before the procedure, stick it in your mother in law's arse, it is more effective than taking it yourself, it really does no good.
If you can get a few shots of Crown in before you go, Good, it will calm the urge to choke the living Shiite out of the Doctor as he is crushing your nads.
And in the infamous words of Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that…………………
Click to expand...
This. Is. Awesome.
 
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#31
#31
The dr didn't use stitches to close me up... He cauterized everything. The worst part was laying their smelling your sack on fire
 
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#32
#32
vol_in_ar said:
Okay, here is the report, I will not candy coat it.

I walked into the office and the cute blond headed nurse says "follow me"
I get in the back and she instructs me to undress from the waist down, sit up on the table and cover myself with the little paper table cloth.
After I do this she instructs me to lay back. She then takes the table cloth away and places a blue napkin over the marble bag with a round hole cut in it, so the marble bag protrudes out nicely.
She walks over to the sink and whips up some mixture with warm water and then walks over and starts washing the marble bag with the warm mixture, all the while it is just me and her in the room.
She then takes Mr. Johnson and tapes him in an upright position to my lower stomach. She says "I have to do this because they tend to know what is going on and try to get in the way" She then places a sun lamp on him to try and warm things up and convince the twins to come out and play. So far, not bad at all...............................
Then comes Tarzan (I'll explain in a minute) who calls himself the doctor. He begins prodding around and poking. Puts on the rubber gloves and starts to go to work. Unbeknownst to me, Tarzan grabs the right marble and begins tugging. Evidently he wants to see how far they really will stretch. He's tugging and pulling and tugging and pulling, meantime my arse is sucking up the paper sheet that is on the table. One good thing is, I didn't have to put my legs up in the air, I just kinda laid there.
Finally, I'm about to let out a "Hey doc, is it on the floor yet?" and he quits pulling. The pulling itself was not bad, I never got the sensation that my heart was being tugged into the marble bag; it was just the pressure of him using my nad as a tie down strap that really hurt. He proceeds to warn me of the little stick, which was very little indeed, after that side was numb; I didn't feel any of the cutting and stitching, maybe because the throbbing from my crushed testicle took away from the other pain.

Now for the left one. He grabs it in the same fashion and starts tugging on it. This one evidently had seen what had just went on with his twin brother and wanted no part of it. I hear him say to the nurse, “He has a really big chord on this side” He tugs, and tugs, and tugs and I come to understand what it means to have your nads in a vice. I saw God for a moment, he was laughing. I almost passed out on this one, the cute nurse was kind enough to put a damp towel on my head. By this time I was sweating like Rodney King at a Policeman's Ball. I looked down in time to see him swinging off of it like Tarzan chasing Cheetah through the forest. I just knew this one was crushed.
After he finished pulling, my vision started to come back. Mr. Johnson figured he was next, so he wiggled free from the tape and was doing his best impression of a turtle getting his a$$ whooped in an ice storm under three feet of snow. (I knew the cute little nurse had to be thoroughly impressed)
He stuck it (Marble Sack and Ball Chord) with the needle, snipped and clipped, and stitched it up, none of this did I feel.
He was kind enough to pull me up off the table and his first instructions were to take the paper towel and wipe my butt off? It seems when Tarzan the ape man is swinging off your man berries you tend to sweat a puddle under you.
I kept ice on them for three days, lived off the couch, and faithfully took my pain pills. Now that I am back at work there is soreness and A LOT of bruising, and with the stitches sticking out the sides I look like Franken Sack.

My advice;
Don't pick ANYTHING up from a bending position
Don't bend over.
Keep Ice on It religiously even though you will shrink up to toddler size.
Take ALL of your pain pills on time and take all of them.
The Xanax he gives you to take before the procedure, stick it in your mother in law's arse, it is more effective than taking it yourself, it really does no good.
If you can get a few shots of Crown in before you go, Good, it will calm the urge to choke the living Shiite out of the Doctor as he is crushing your nads.
And in the infamous words of Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that…………………
Click to expand...

Hahaha. Awesome read.
 
#34
#34
Carl Pickens said:
The dr didn't use stitches to close me up... He cauterized everything. The worst part was laying their smelling your sack on fire
Click to expand...

Nah, the worst part would have been somebody stomping on the sack to put the fire out.
 
Last edited:
#36
#36
A lot has been covered here with several good explanations of what to expect. I will just add the following as a warning...

My doctor was a real old guy. His hands were shaking a bit. He also stated that he has seen 40+ patients already that day. I told him twice as they were prepping me, that we could reschedule for another day.

I was awake and watched the entire procedure. Watched the whole thing. Not recommended... Also it is hard to carry on a conversation, while someone is sawing on your junk.

Thought I was a tough guy as I walked out with limited pain, just a bit of soreness. So I went home and got on a tractor for several hours baling hay. (not recommended).

As a "tough guy", I refrained from filling the prescription for pain meds that the Doc gave me. Thinking that I did not need them. I was wrong....

Three hours later, I had to drive myself out from the farm on a 60-mile round trip into town and wait as the prescription was filled. This was in a old bouncing, manual shift farm truck. I was driving down mostly winding back roads. I thought I was going to die...

I got back home and had to take a leak. I had been holding it since leaving the farm as I was afraid what would happen. Do not do this.... I ended up in the bathroom floor mumbling weak prays and strings of profanity.

The next 4-days were a blur... Ice pack on my junk and pain meds, supplemented by untaxed corn whiskey. "My Friends" came by several times, mostly to laugh and tell me jokes. Just to see me double over if I started laughing or coughed.

So my advice is, get your pain meds. Take your pain meds. Do not try and do anything for the first day or so. Postpone the procedure if you have a bad cough and do not let your heartless buddies babysit you.

I hope this helps....

CH_V
 
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#37
#37
barknoxbrawler said:
- No. A buddy of mine did it before me and he was not knocked out. His choice.... He said he had a slightly "racked" feeling for 3 days afterward. I never did.

See above for answers.

Worst part was walking in with my wife and all I could think about was " I hope the nurse is not hot". I mean, I'd hate for the event to begin with a North bound train if you know what I mean. Anyways, it started out bad as I had taken a chunk off my sack while shaving thinking I would help out. When I told the doctor and nurse and they saw my bandaid, they laughed as they do all the prep for you.. Anyways.... Back on topic... She was not hot. She came in and placed my legs in stirrups with a sheet over me with a hole just big enough for camera 1 and camera 2 sticking out for the entire room to see. She then proceeded to tape my shaft up to my body while shaving my sack (hence why having a hot nurse is bad when the taping starts). She said you are all ready and left the room but never shut the door. That's right.... Sack hanging out on a sheet with a hole in it for he world to see. Doctor came in and knocked me out and the rest is history.
Click to expand...

Speaking of not hot, I had a 40 y/o Navy Corpsman do my procedure. As an Army Officer wearing a Ranger Tab and jump wings there was no way I could cry out when the dude accidentally tugged on the tube before hitting it with the electric crimper. He was from Georgia and I made the mistake of mentioning I was a volunteer. ..
 
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#38
#38
After reading the first two pages of this thread, I would try to convince your wife to get her tubes tied instead.
 
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#41
#41
I'm sure accidental castration is rare. Then again, I'm no doctor, so maybe they just sweep that under the rug.
 
#42
#42
salutethehill said:
Men - with 4 kids of my own, 3 of whom will carry on my last name, it is time for me to end my child conceiving years. Having never pursued this option, I have a few questions for those experienced in this arena:

1 - does it hurt?
2 - will my wee wee fall off?
3 - will I have to sit down to pee from now on?
4 - does it hurt?
5 - am I gonna have to masturbate in front of someone?
6 - will it split my stream?
7 - what's recovery like?
and finally...
8 - does it hurt?
Click to expand...
1. Yes
2. Probably
3. Yes
4. Burns like the fire of a thousand suns
5. Yes. It will be filmed on 8 mm tape.
6. No. That's weird, man.
7. Meh
8. You'll wish you were dead.
 
#45
#45
salutethehill said:
Men - with 4 kids of my own, 3 of whom will carry on my last name, it is time for me to end my child conceiving years. Having never pursued this option, I have a few questions for those experienced in this arena:

1 - does it hurt?
2 - will my wee wee fall off?
3 - will I have to sit down to pee from now on?
4 - does it hurt?
5 - am I gonna have to masturbate in front of someone?
6 - will it split my stream?
7 - what's recovery like?
and finally...
8 - does it hurt?
Click to expand...

1. Yes. Worst pain I've ever felt
2. Eventually will shrivel up and die
3. Every time
4. See 1
5. It's the only way you'll obtain an erection again
6. No more stream
7. 3-5 years
8. Yes


Except the exact opposite.
 
#48
#48
barknoxbrawler said:
Money is an issue when you don't have much.
Click to expand...

That makes no sense when compared to the cost of a child. Even less when talking about the health of the mother

If you can't afford to get snipped you sure as heck can't afford to raise a child properly
 
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#49
#49
utvolpj said:
That makes no sense when compared to the cost of a child. Even less when talking about the health of the mother

If you can't afford to get snipped you sure as heck can't afford to raise a child properly
Click to expand...

Well thanks Doctor Phil. I have 4 awesome healthy kids and a great healthy wife. I'm cheap on everything in life regarding me. Snipping was cheaper and only involved me and my health......It was a no brainer.

Just because you save money by checking all options does not make you a horrible father but you can do what you please and what I've done has worked out well for my family and myself.
 
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#50
#50
barknoxbrawler said:
Well thanks Doctor Phil. I have 4 awesome healthy kids and a great healthy wife. I'm cheap on everything in life regarding me. Snipping was cheaper and only involved me and my health......It was a no brainer.

Just because you save money by checking all options does not make you a horrible father but you can do what you please and what I've done has worked out well for my family and myself.
Click to expand...

Good grief you completely misunderstood everything I posted. Well done :hi:
 
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