If you are choosing to engage in direct communication with someone and refuse to engage with them as they like you are a jerk. They arent vegans, at least not the ones I have met. They dont start a conversation with whatever their pronoun is.
The government isn't involved in this at all, you are trying to dictate your beliefs onto someone else. That's wrong. No one is punishing you if you call a zer a she or a he. They just might think you a jerk. They have just as much free will to be part of the conversation as you do; and if you do something they dont like they are free to leave the conversation, just as you can do.
Just because you disagree and want it done the same way you have always done it, doesnt put you in the right.
I am not taking any of it personally, not sure why you think I am. I believe you are making a bad, and inconsistent (at least as I understand your stances) argument. I engage with anyone on just about anything this way. I am doing something similar in the Ukraine thread with Volgr.