Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#352
#352
PimpVol said:
No. My mom had little freedom raising my brothers & I. But that does not matter. She will do what it takes to ruin our family. She is committed to it too. Fully. She thinks her new found sense of religion is going to help her. She has been "called" she claims, not to be a minister mind you, but "called" none the less. God (Jamal Bryant) told her I am not the right man. She is in there right now playing church music and having a great time. Making me not like church or religious people. How on Earth is God doing this? Makes little sense to me.
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Taking advice from a pastor who had an affair which led to a divorce may not be the wisest decision she could make, but that's just me.
 
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#355
#355
IBlvNTmWrk said:
Taking advice from a pastor who had an affair which led to a divorce may not be the wisest decision she could make, but that's just me.
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Did not know that ¦¦ . Good bit of info. However, he did steal her mind nearly two months ago. Funny how all this **** started, wait for it,




















Two months ago.
 
#359
#359
IBlvNTmWrk said:
Taking advice from a pastor who had an affair which led to a divorce may not be the wisest decision she could make, but that's just me.
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Well, well, well. Schazaam. Just checked it out. Seems the good pastor dipped his wick where it did not belong. Wife left him too. Hmmn....
 
#363
#363
Y'all? Does that not imply more than one? We have not done anything together since before my birthday. She looks @ his drivel online. We live nowhere near Baltimore. I have no clue how she even heard of his philandering ass. But she did. Not long afterwards, she checked out on me. He has an excellent book called "world war me". She ordered it on Amazon and has been reading it. It is very likely over between us. She has done nothing to help us & I can't do it alone.
 
#365
#365
No. I ordered it Saturday. I mentioned it to her though. :lol: . She is not interested in relationship building exercises. They may weaken her position of wanting a divorce. I also brought the subject of not having our smart phones in our hands at all times. But still have it where you can hear it. I feel like those damn things sap peoples relationship. Way, way to much time is spent on them. Some people can't even function without theirs. That went over well too :) .
 
#367
#367
PimpVol said:
No. I ordered it Saturday. I mentioned it to her though. :lol: . She is not interested in relationship building exercises. They may weaken her position of wanting a divorce. I also brought the subject of not having our smart phones in our hands at all times. But still have it where you can hear it. I feel like those damn things sap peoples relationship. Way, way to much time is spent on them. Some people can't even function without theirs. That went over well too :) .
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Tell her it's a religious movie
 
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#369
#369
chatt-townVOL said:
I've only been married for a few months so I'm not the best authority on this, but my wife and I have said since the beginning of the relationship that cheating and drug use are the 2 grounds for divorce, other than that we need to be able to work through it.
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Money and sex are the two top causes...and depending on which perspective you use, it is usually a lack...not an abundance.

My marriage imploded after 18 years. I wasn't getting enough sex and she thought I wasn't making enough money.

I will confess that post marriage, the more sex I get, the more I want...so I guess I can sort of see how the more money I made, the more she spent.

On a positive note, my GF actually asked me if I had ever thought about teaching a class for guys... :eek:hmy:
 
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#370
#370
Forget to pay the Internet bill. Or turn it off. No way she needs to be involved with this guy.

Get fireproof. Duct tape her to the couch.

If she has a mind and a heart at all it will make a difference.
 
#371
#371
PimpVol said:
What is worse is she keeps on with "it can't be fixed" without giving me a chance to fix it. So since she has moved on in her head, I am supposed to abandon my wife and family, merely because she has. Ludicrous. She told me my boys don't need me in their life and that they would fine with me coming to visit periodically. Equally ludicrous. She has really turned my world upside-down. And left it there. My sense of self-worth & purpose is totally lost. I was perfectly fine being husband/father. I have no desire to live in some other place away from my family. Who all happen to be perfectly healthy, but not with me because she is not "happy". #WhiskyTangoFoxtrot
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F that, dude! I have my two kids two nights a week and she has them the other two and we alternate 3 night weekends. I am struggling a bit work wise, trying to adjust to having the kids on my own during the week I work from home), but they need me in their life just as much as they need her. My family cannot believe the changes in the kids since we split.
 
#372
#372
wildnkrazykat said:
I read somewhere that people have **** mixed up, basically. They think their first priority is their children and second is their marriage. However, this actually is a huge disservice to the family. When children become priority #1, then the spouse falls behind the plethora of activities the children are involved in.

On a second note, depending on each of your work schedules there are countless opportunities for her to spark a connection with someone else.
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My role in my marriage was that of ATM. As long as cash kept the machine well oiled, I wasn't much wanted or needed. Good thing is I have never been better with my kids!!!
 
#373
#373
shelbyvillevol said:
It worries me you haven't posted since this post. If you're lurking, please just post something.

Life kicks us all in the ass sometimes. I promise you that there's nothing that you're experiencing that can't be overcome with the right effort and attitude.
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Or medication and counseling...depression cannot always be overcome with just effort and attitude.

:hi:
 
#374
#374
PimpVol said:
When a person keeps their feelings inside, you do not truly know them. Whether you live with them or not. Distance or proximity has no bearing on knowing a person. The person has to actually tell you.

On the other hand, when a person gets angry, it is easy to see what makes them mad. It is clearly evident. But knowing what pisses a person off and what actually makes them happy are two TOTALLY different issues. They have nothing in common. They are not derived, enacted or dealt with in the same manner. EVERY one of our "arguments" would start out normal and then deteriorate from discussing feelings to angry bickering. For no reason other than a lack of effective communication. We badly need counseling if we are going to save our marriage. The question is does she want to go. The answer is no. She is not interested in saving it. She is not in a huge rush to get divorced either. But she is doing all sorts of new stuff and enjoying her new found "empowerment" as she calls it. But she isn't doing much of anything to help us or bring us back together. If anything, I would term her actions as "separation acts". Acts of independence. In short (yeah, right :) ), it don't look good.
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PV, sounds like my story about 18 months ago. She repeatedly refused to sit down and make a list of what had to happen for us to be happy together and then decide if we wanted to attempt it...wouldn't even consider identifying what it would take...

Oh well... Be strong, not reactive, nor defensive... Try to stay on the high road for your kids. Most importantly, you have to figure out how to be happy with yourself for yourself and your kids.

It really, really sucked going through it, but the sun kept coming up. Still tough sometimes, but life is actually much better!

Hang in there!
 
#375
#375
Pimp needs to go hang with grizz. Grizz knows the folks that will put a smile on his face.
 
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