Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#552
#552
PimpVol said:
Exactly what happened here. It is a cobbling together of different bs that is not really the case. But, what is the case is she no longer wants to remain married. But to do it this way (instead of leaving herself), is particularly disheartening. That is one hell of a low blow. Our marriage was clearly going to end if she wanted it to. But it appears that she did not want me to get a chance to fix it. More than once she said "I should have saw the signs". But the problem is that she never held up the signs saying our family was going to be taken apart by her. The truth is she just never held up any signs. So just I kept plugging along. Until she crushed my soul on my birthday anyway. And now after three months of trying save my marriage all by myself, "they" go and pull this stunt on me (in such a lowdown, sneaky manner) and I now find myself homeless. It is now three days without seeing my boys. Not to mention I love my wife and I miss her as well. Sometimes (all the time), I wonder how this happened. There was never a day that I wanted to leave my family. At all.
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"She found religion"

I don't think she really "hears" anything you say.

At this point you need to "listen" to what she is saying with the legal process and wake up and play the game>>>>>cause if you don't you will regret it

Pimp it takes years, not months, but years to heal from a divorce.

Your wife's lawyer will try to get all they can for her (including the kids)

Try to save your marriage still, that is fine. Mixed emotions is normal.

But you must stand up for yourself and hire an attorney that can represent you through the "process".
 
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#553
#553
UTVOLKeith said:
"She found religion"

I don't think she really "hears" anything you say.

At this point you need to "listen" to what she is saying with the legal process and wake up and play the game>>>>>cause if you don't you will regret it

Pimp it takes years, not months, but years to heal from a divorce.

Your wife's lawyer will try to get all they can for her (including the kids)

Try to save your marriage still, that is fine. Mixed emotions is normal.

But you must stand up for yourself and hire an attorney that can represent you through the "process".
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This x1000. When I needed a divorce lawyer, I looked for a woman who was tough but could communicate/negotiate with my ex. It was costly but worth it.

Sorry for your situation; hang in there.
 
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#555
#555
vol_in_ar said:
Pimp, I really feel for you, I couldn't imagine not seeing my kids everyday, but I was really a proponent of you trying counseling, but if she's already served you with an order of protection, you really do need a good lawyer
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Counseling was never seriously considered. She was never interested in doing anything to save our marriage. In her mind it was over when she told me she wasn't happy. And to her credit, she stayed true to it. She rarely faltered. We had a good four day stretch that was very good for me. But that was it. One of the things that bothers me most is somehow I was supposed to read her mind & "see the signs". The only thing I saw was the sun come up everyday. 95 percent of the time I was already up. I need to get over the fact that I don't even warrant a chance to keep my family intact. Once she stated her position there has been a pronounced separation between us. A separation she has worked tirelessly to maintain. And it has thrived due to her efforts. The only times she called me was to pick her up from work. The only time she asked me something was when she was already mad about whatever it was. I tried to hold on to long and pushed her into a corner. And she came out swinging. TKO.
 
#557
#557
This thread reminds me of this quote for some reason

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#558
#558
Been married 33 years worse mistake i ever made, paying for it every day i guess thats what you call a life sentence, there is 1 damn thing about it, it makes dying a little easy knowing you wont have to hear that big mouth.
 
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#559
#559
terrypedigo said:
Been married 33 years worse mistake i ever made, paying for it every day i guess thats what you call a life sentence, there is 1 damn thing about it, it makes dying a little easy knowing you wont have to hear that big mouth.
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Huh? Not sure if serious?
 
#560
#560
PimpVol said:
Counseling was never seriously considered. She was never interested in doing anything to save our marriage. In her mind it was over when she told me she wasn't happy. And to her credit, she stayed true to it. She rarely faltered. We had a good four day stretch that was very good for me. But that was it. One of the things that bothers me most is somehow I was supposed to read her mind & "see the signs". The only thing I saw was the sun come up everyday. 95 percent of the time I was already up. I need to get over the fact that I don't even warrant a chance to keep my family intact. Once she stated her position there has been a pronounced separation between us. A separation she has worked tirelessly to maintain. And it has thrived due to her efforts. The only times she called me was to pick her up from work. The only time she asked me something was when she was already mad about whatever it was. I tried to hold on to long and pushed her into a corner. And she came out swinging. TKO.
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Never gone through a divorce, but can't imagine not having my kids around, and regardless of how your feelings and emotions change about your wife, don't lose sight of your relationship with your kids
 
#561
#561
terrypedigo said:
Been married 33 years worse mistake i ever made, paying for it every day i guess thats what you call a life sentence, there is 1 damn thing about it, it makes dying a little easy knowing you wont have to hear that big mouth.
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Why don't u get out?
 
#564
#564
vol_in_ar said:
Never gone through a divorce, but can't imagine not having my kids around, and regardless of how your feelings and emotions change about your wife, don't lose sight of your relationship with your kids
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My feelings about my wife have not changed. I love her like I always have. And not that "love you but not in love with you" bull****. I mean I love her and have no need to spend one day away from her. But I can see that this marriage/family is over as well. Whenever this impending divorce (virtual certainty that she filed it) is complete I am leaving town. Nothing but 38 years of pain here, going all the way back to my upbringing, is enough for me. I am out of this *****.


What relationship with my kids? You mean child support & visits? Can't wait. This is hardly different from being in jail. That is really how I feel now. I am free, but can't go home. And I have no way to contact my boys.
 
#565
#565
PimpVol said:
My feelings about my wife have not changed. I love her like I always have. And not that "love you but not in love with you" bull****. I mean I love her and have no need to spend one day away from her. But I can see that this marriage/family is over as well. Whenever this impending divorce (virtual certainty that she filed it) is complete I am leaving town. Nothing but 38 years of pain here, going all the way back to my upbringing, is enough for me. I am out of this *****.


What relationship with my kids? You mean child support & visits? Can't wait. This is hardly different from being in jail. That is really how I feel now. I am free, but can't go home. And I have no way to contact my boys.
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Pimp. I'm going to say this to you straight and I hope you don't get offended but you need to drop this woe is me crap. Your marriage is over and your wife is preparing to F you up. You need to man the F up and get a lawyer and fight for your damn kids. Every second that you wait and cry about this, you are making it worse. Go get a damn lawyer NOW!!!!
 
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#566
#566
Listen
To them Pimp. And id have to believe that seeing ur kids as much as possible is better than not at all.
 
#567
#567
SDV said:
Pimp. I'm going to say this to you straight and I hope you don't get offended but you need to drop this woe is me crap. Your marriage is over and your wife is preparing to F you up. You need to man the F up and get a lawyer and fight for your damn kids. Every second that you wait and cry about this, you are making it worse. Go get a damn lawyer NOW!!!!
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Maybe it takes an anonymous message board to say it this way, but that's pretty much it. He's going to be miserable either way, so he might as well minimize the damage.
 
#568
#568
SDV said:
Pimp. I'm going to say this to you straight and I hope you don't get offended but you need to drop this woe is me crap. Your marriage is over and your wife is preparing to F you up. You need to man the F up and get a lawyer and fight for your damn kids. Every second that you wait and cry about this, you are making it worse. Go get a damn lawyer NOW!!!!
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This is completely and totally correct. There is no reason to give up on everything because it didn't work out. Move on, move forward and work toward a better future.

The first step of this is to work out what is best for you and your boys. Your marriage may be over, but your legacy as a father can be made or broken right here.

Get a lawyer, figure out your best options for yourself and your boys. That should be the only concern at this point. There is time to look at the past later. Now is the time to act.
 
#569
#569
SDV said:
Pimp. I'm going to say this to you straight and I hope you don't get offended but you need to drop this woe is me crap. Your marriage is over and your wife is preparing to F you up. You need to man the F up and get a lawyer and fight for your damn kids. Every second that you wait and cry about this, you are making it worse. Go get a damn lawyer NOW!!!!
Click to expand...

Not woe is me. Just ready for it to be over is all. She has already ****ed me up. Not much else she can do (I hope anyway). Stick me with some bills? Who cares? The main thing I am focused on is living the rest of my life. I am very thankful for all the advice. I will seek counsel.
 
#570
#570
PimpVol said:
Not woe is me. Just ready for it to be over is all. She has already ****ed me up. Not much else she can do (I hope anyway). Stick me with some bills? Who cares? The main thing I am focused on is living the rest of my life. I am very thankful for all the advice. I will seek counsel.
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What city are you in? If you are in Middle TN, I will help you for free. I'll be in Nashville in 3 weeks
 
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#573
#573
SDV said:
What city are you in? If you are in Middle TN, I will help you for free. I'll be in Nashville in 3 weeks
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Hell yeah.
You are a good man.


Pimp we are all here for you. In whatever capacity we each can. SDV has made a great offer to you.

Doesn't get any better brother.
 
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