Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#526
#526
I was never walking out on my family. So she took care of that on her own. Now I can never come back to my family. Funny how that works out.
 
#527
#527
PimpVol said:
I am now homeless & familyless. ***** went downtown and took out an order of protection. I had to leave immediately. Had no clue it was happening. She said she would be "right back" and that is what she did while she was gone. Next thing I know, I am getting a call from the sheriffs office. Finality @ its finest.
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Wow. Very sorry to hear. Keep your head up.
 
#528
#528
I don't mean to sound like I'm piling on, but you should have been consulting an attorney all along to look out for your interests. I'd recommend you doing so now ASAP. You should take note of all (recent) instances where she displayed inappropriate conduct in the presence of the children...any proof of adultery (mere suspicion is not enough)...basically anything that can help you in the custody battle that is coming. I feel obligated to repeat it again, go get an attorney. This is not something you want to be cheap on either. You get what you pay for. It's been a while, so i had to look up some notes but parenting plans determined by the court consider the following and are not supposed to favor one parent over the other based on gender:

"In a permanent parenting plan, the court will allocate parenting responsibilities (decision-making authority) b/w the parents, as well as determine physical custody (where the child will physically reside), all the best interests of the child. The court will consider various factors to determine the residential schedule of the child, including (i) each parents’ ability to instruct, inspire, and encourage the child; (ii) the strength and stability of the child’s relationship with each parent; (iii) the willingness of each parent to facilitate a continuing relationship with the other parent; (iv) any willful refusal to attend a parent educational seminar as ordered by the court; (v) the disposition of each parent to provide the child with food, clothing, and care; (vi) the degree to which a parent has been the primary caregiver; (vii) the love, affection, and emotional ties between the parent and child; (viii) the emotional and developmental needs of the child; (ix) the fitness of each parent; (x) the importance of continuity in the child’s life; (xi) each parent’s employment schedule; and (xii) any other factors deemed relevant by the court."
 
#529
#529
Pimp, sorry to hear all that man! Get a lawyer now. But also, keep working, find a decent place to live and be prepared to show the court that you can take care of the kids as part of any custody arrangement. You may also want to go talk to someone, a counselor, pastor etc--someone you trust who will let you rant for a bit and help guide you through.
 
#531
#531
I am ok. I had already lost my wife, now I lost my house. Kids are hanging in the balance. I am feeling weird after not seeing my boys for the last few days. Still can't believe it turned out this way. But it did.
 
#532
#532
PimpVol said:
I am ok. I had already lost my wife, now I lost my house. Kids are hanging in the balance. I am feeling weird after not seeing my boys for the last few days. Still can't believe it turned out this way. But it did.
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Stay strong. Be the best dad you can be.
 
#533
#533
PimpVol said:
I am now homeless & familyless. ***** went downtown and took out an order of protection. I had to leave immediately. Had no clue it was happening. She said she would be "right back" and that is what she did while she was gone. Next thing I know, I am getting a call from the sheriffs office. Finality @ its finest.
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what was the reason the court/judge issued an order of protection?

Sorry to hear this
 
#536
#536
Told them she was "scared", but of course we are not fighting at all. I was trying to save my family, certainly not fighting or "abusing" her. But that does not matter. I have found out that this is a common opening salvo in divorce proceedings. I look like a monster now, and it kicked me out, instantly. When I go to court in a few weeks, why should they lift it? We are clearly over now, if we were not before. So why would I ever go back there again? Why would I be around here ever again? It doesn't matter if they leave it on or not. The point is, she pulled out her big gun & ended our marriage, effective immediately.
 
#537
#537
Now I guess I have to wait until our divorce is final (safe bet it is already underway) to even see my boys again. I can not contact her and they are with her, presumably. I have no idea where they are actually.
 
#538
#538
PimpVol said:
Now I guess I have to wait until our divorce is final (safe bet it is already underway) to even see my boys again. I can not contact her and they are with her, presumably. I have no idea where they are actually.
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You need to get a lawyer NOW!!!!! What are you waiting on?
 
#539
#539
SDV said:
You need to get a lawyer NOW!!!!! What are you waiting on?
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Yep, you better believe she's already lawyered-up, and if you wait too long you'll be screwed. You're going to end up paying more in the long-run if you don't get a good lawyer now.
 
#541
#541
PimpVol said:
Now I guess I have to wait until our divorce is final (safe bet it is already underway) to even see my boys again. I can not contact her and they are with her, presumably. I have no idea where they are actually.
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Pimp, I really feel for you, I couldn't imagine not seeing my kids everyday, but I was really a proponent of you trying counseling, but if she's already served you with an order of protection, you really do need a good lawyer
 
#545
#545
SDV said:
This. These are usually only issued for physical abuse or extreme harassment
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No

This is the first thing a good divorce attorney does.

You can get one of these with goobely gook and a signature.

The purpose is to piss the other party off to get real proof
 
#546
#546
Keep paying half the bills.

Go live with a friend or your parents and save your money.

Keep receipts.

At your first court date the restraining order will be mutual. (you will ask for one against her)

If you want your kids ask for full custody and settle for joint(half) NO LESS
 
#547
#547
UTVOLKeith said:
No

This is the first thing a good divorce attorney does.

You can get one of these with goobely gook and a signature.

The purpose is to piss the other party off to get real proof
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Exactly what happened here. It is a cobbling together of different bs that is not really the case. But, what is the case is she no longer wants to remain married. But to do it this way (instead of leaving herself), is particularly disheartening. That is one hell of a low blow. Our marriage was clearly going to end if she wanted it to. But it appears that she did not want me to get a chance to fix it. More than once she said "I should have saw the signs". But the problem is that she never held up the signs saying our family was going to be taken apart by her. The truth is she just never held up any signs. So just I kept plugging along. Until she crushed my soul on my birthday anyway. And now after three months of trying save my marriage all by myself, "they" go and pull this stunt on me (in such a lowdown, sneaky manner) and I now find myself homeless. It is now three days without seeing my boys. Not to mention I love my wife and I miss her as well. Sometimes (all the time), I wonder how this happened. There was never a day that I wanted to leave my family. At all.
 
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#548
#548
What you are going through is rough. You have to stay strong not only for yourself but also your kids. Trust me when I tell you that when they grow up they will realize who broke the family apart.
 
#549
#549
Another thing, I don't see where she has any right to keep your kids away from you. If there is no history of abuse then you should at least have visitation rights. Like others have said, you need to lawyer up asap.
 
#550
#550
Doyle Hargraves said:
Another thing, I don't see where she has any right to keep your kids away from you. If there is no history of abuse then you should at least have visitation rights. Like others have said, you need to lawyer up asap.
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hey Doyle. Good to see you around, buddy. How is the wife?
 
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