Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#502
#502
Sorry, but I have to agree somewhat with BV here. Sometimes tearing the band-aid is the only way to handle it. It's clear that you aren't happy. Your wife is intentionally making you unhappy. You say she has made you feel worthless and isn't willing to work on the relationship, and IIRC she has committed adultery...why are you there? At some point, you have to realize that you deserve to enjoy life as well. You'll have to work harder with the kids, but they won't be exposed to the daily resentment. Staying in a hostile environment for the sake of the kids doesn't really help them that much. They are affected by it as well. Hope it works out for you though.
 
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#503
#503
mjw2e said:
Sorry, but I have to agree somewhat with BV here. Sometimes tearing the band-aid is the only way to handle it. It's clear that you aren't happy. Your wife is intentionally making you unhappy. You say she has made you feel worthless and isn't willing to work on the relationship, and IIRC she has committed adultery...why are you there? At some point, you have to realize that you deserve to enjoy life as well. You'll have to work harder with the kids, but they won't be exposed to the daily resentment. Staying in a hostile environment for the sake of the kids doesn't really help them that much. They are affected by it as well. Hope it works out for you though.
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Bingo! When it comes to kids, IMO it's better to be FROM a broken home than live in one!
 
#505
#505
brandonco05 said:
I agree, I was just saying that the woman will never be gone if that's the case.
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Oh yeah definitely. At that point you're basically just looking at degrees of misery!

I have a friend who's in that very predicament. He's divorced with 3 kids and his ex constantly bugs him about something to do with their kids, even when it's not necessary. He said when he was married to her, it was like having a skunk in his tent pissing outside. Now that he's divorced from her, he said it's like having a skunk outside his tent pissing in! :eek:lol:
 
#506
#506
Brave Volunteer said:
People always respond the same when I tell them I went through divorce. They'll say something like....

"Oh man, sorry to hear that. Divorce is rough."

I always respond by saying "yeah but not compared to the marriage!"

Divorce for me was like going to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. Sure, the procedure is unpleasant but once that irritating abscess is gone and you've paid your bill, you feel SOOOO much better!
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There's a lot to be said for punting. Why waste valuable years trying to make something work that has fundemental, and probably irreconcilable, differences?

I wish I'd had that mindset 3 or 4 years ago.
 
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#513
#513
I am @ the point where it is getting to be to much. Last night I came home from work and passed out. That must have been a nervous breakdown. Felt cold and sick & in all sorts of pain, like I had to throw up but nothing came up. I have also developed stomach problems that I have NEVER had. This has totally ruined me. Seems like last night was rock bottom. Nowhere to go but up. I cannot wait until this divorce gets underway. I am relishing the opportunity to hear what she says to the mediator/counselor. Because she has beat around the bush when I ask her. But there is no denying the fact that she has been a total ice queen towards me for months now. What can I do? I am not Superman. I don't have a cape. I was already doing my best for my wife & children. Guess I was not good enough for her. Thems the breaks...
 
#514
#514
PimpVol said:
I am @ the point where it is getting to be to much. Last night I came home from work and passed out. That must have been a nervous breakdown. Felt cold and sick & in all sorts of pain, like I had to throw up but nothing came up. I have also developed stomach problems that I have NEVER had. This has totally ruined me. Seems like last night was rock bottom. Nowhere to go but up. I cannot wait until this divorce gets underway. I am relishing the opportunity to hear what she says to the mediator/counselor. Because she has beat around the bush when I ask her. But there is no denying the fact that she has been a total ice queen towards me for months now. What can I do? I am not Superman. I don't have a cape. I was already doing my best for my wife & children. Guess I was not good enough for her. Thems the breaks...
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Wrong... change that perspective immediately. :hi:
 
#515
#515
PimpVol said:
I am @ the point where it is getting to be to much. Last night I came home from work and passed out. That must have been a nervous breakdown. Felt cold and sick & in all sorts of pain, like I had to throw up but nothing came up. I have also developed stomach problems that I have NEVER had. This has totally ruined me. Seems like last night was rock bottom. Nowhere to go but up. I cannot wait until this divorce gets underway. I am relishing the opportunity to hear what she says to the mediator/counselor. Because she has beat around the bush when I ask her. But there is no denying the fact that she has been a total ice queen towards me for months now. What can I do? I am not Superman. I don't have a cape. I was already doing my best for my wife & children. Guess I was not good enough for her. Thems the breaks...
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have you scheduled counseling yet
 
#516
#516
Pimp, had a discussion about Pastor Bryant with my pastor the other night. We are just north of Baltimore and my pastor does conferences and other engagements with folks down in Baltimore.

My pastor said that doesn't agree with all of Bryant's theology, but that he did not think Pastor Bryant would encourage anyone's marriage to break up. In fact, he thought that if Pastor Bryant heard there might be an issue then he would want to know about it. He recommended that you contact him and see if you can do some long distance counseling. It might not be with Bryant himself, but it could be one of his associate ministers. Something to consider.
 
#517
#517
YorkVol said:
Pimp, had a discussion about Pastor Bryant with my pastor the other night. We are just north of Baltimore and my pastor does conferences and other engagements with folks down in Baltimore.

My pastor said that doesn't agree with all of Bryant's theology, but that he did not think Pastor Bryant would encourage anyone's marriage to break up. In fact, he thought that if Pastor Bryant heard there might be an issue then he would want to know about it. He recommended that you contact him and see if you can do some long distance counseling. It might not be with Bryant himself, but it could be one of his associate ministers. Something to consider.
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Oh god! Is that what Bama fans are calling him now??
 
#518
#518
YorkVol said:
Pimp, had a discussion about Pastor Bryant with my pastor the other night. We are just north of Baltimore and my pastor does conferences and other engagements with folks down in Baltimore.

My pastor said that doesn't agree with all of Bryant's theology, but that he did not think Pastor Bryant would encourage anyone's marriage to break up. In fact, he thought that if Pastor Bryant heard there might be an issue then he would want to know about it. He recommended that you contact him and see if you can do some long distance counseling. It might not be with Bryant himself, but it could be one of his associate ministers. Something to consider.
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She made a strong move toward permanently ending our marriage today. All I can say is wow. It is clearly over. It has been for a while actually. I just would never walk out on my family. Ever. But all that was taken care of today. For me. I did what I could. But she effectively ended it today.
 
#519
#519
PimpVol said:
She made a strong move toward permanently ending our marriage today. All I can say is wow. It is clearly over. It has been for a while actually. I just would never walk out on my family. Ever. But all that was taken care of today. For me. I did what I could. But she effectively ended it today.
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If you don't mind me asking, how?
 
#525
#525
I am now homeless & familyless. ***** went downtown and took out an order of protection. I had to leave immediately. Had no clue it was happening. She said she would be "right back" and that is what she did while she was gone. Next thing I know, I am getting a call from the sheriffs office. Finality @ its finest.
 
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