I won't be tithing his church anymore. So he won't be mailing me anything else. But trying to erase the last 15 years of my life from head is a slow process.
One thing that I have found is love is not controllable. I still love my wife like I always have. I don't talk to her anymore (since July 31st), speak to her or see her. But that doesn't matter, I still feel the same way. Not sure how you go about not loving someone, but for me it hasn't worked. It probably will be awhile, if ever, before my love for her will die out on it's own.
But, my understanding of what went on is becoming clearer. This article describes what happened to her (and thus me), to a T.
Women's Infidelity
It's like a step by step tutorial of how things went. The explosive anger makes "perfect" sense now. I could not for the life of me figure out why the hell she was mad @ me (I was the one trying to save our family, why the hell was she mad @ me). But now I know she was mad @ herself (quite likely because her "boyfriend" screwed her a few times and then dumped her, among other things), and I was merely the outlet for her frustrations. I have long since quit blaming myself for her wrongdoings (though she apparently has not), and I clearly live a new, and different life. But it is by force, not of choice, and some part of my marriage creeps into my head at some point of every day.
As for now, all I'm doing is waiting for the dominoes to begin falling. We have 3 boys who will begin to ask questions sooner or later, if they haven't already. For right now (7 months in) her & her mom have a good coverup going on over on that side & all is well for them. But, she can't lie forever. The truth will force it's way to the surface soon enough.