Merry Christmas to the Politics Forum

#1
T

therealUT

Rational Thought Allowed?
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#1
The approach of Christmas signifies three things: bad movies, unforgivable television, and even worse theater. I'm talking bone-crushing theater, the type our ancient ancestors used to oppress their enemies before the invention of the stretching rack. We're talking torture on par with the Scottsfield Dinner Theater's 1994 revival of Come Blow Your Horn, a production that violated every tenet of the Human Rights Accord. To those of you who enjoy the comfort of a nice set of thumbscrews, allow me to recommend any of the crucifying holiday plays and pageants currently eliciting screams of mercy from within the confines of our local elementary and middle schools. I will, no doubt, be taken to task for criticizing the work of children but, as any pathologist will agree, if there's a cancer it's best to treat it as early as possible.

If you happened to stand over four feet tall, the agony awaiting you at Sacred Heart Elementary began the moment you took your seat. These were mean little chairs corralled into a "theater" haunted by the lingering stench of industrial-strength lasagna. My question is not why they chose to stage the production in a poorly disguised cafeteria, but why they chose to stage it at all. "The Story of the First Christmas" is an overrated clunker of a holiday pageant, best left to those looking to cure their chronic insomnia. Although the program listed no director, that apathetic staging suggested the limp, partially paralyzed hand of Sister Mary Elizabeth Bronson, who should have been excommunicated after last season's disastrous Thanksgiving program. Here again the first through third-grade actors graced the stage with an enthusiasm most children reserve for a smallpox vaccination. One could hardly blame them for their lack of vitality, as the stingy, uninspired script consists, not of springy dialogue, but rather of a deadening series of pronouncements.

Mary to Joseph: "I am tired."
Joseph to Mary: "We will rest here for the night."

There's no fire, no give and take, and the audience soon grows weary of this passionless relationship...

Holidays On Ice: Front Row Center by David Sedaris
Click to expand...

Enjoy your holiday.
 
#2
#2
A Christmas thread without the mention of Christ? How dare you! Let's put the Christ back in Christmas.
 
#3
#3
Sorry the Christmas season is so painful for you. Does trolling the internet make you feel better?
 
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#4
#4
I'll just echo the OP - Merry Christmas to all; even the heathen atheists destined to burn for eternity in Hell's fire...but I digress. Oh yeah, the Christ-killing Jews too.
 
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#5
#5
I have a sense of humor - I send all atheist to heaven so they can be frustrated for eternity.
 
#6
#6
golfballs03 said:
Sorry the Christmas season is so painful for you. Does trolling the internet make you feel better?
Click to expand...

Do you have an issue?


180061-silver-tissue.jpg


Here's a tissue.
 
#7
#7
Merry Christmas to all the religious nutjobs on the board who have been duped by religion their whole life....especially golfballs03 :)
 
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#9
#9
golfballs03 said:
I'm not the one crying about entertainment options this time of year.

It surprises me. I wouldn't think the OP would care so much about such trivial forms of entertainment.
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Oh, the OP wrote that article?

I knew TRUT was actually David Sedaris!

C'mon, man.
 
#10
#10
Regardless of how you feel about the particulars of the Religious Holiday, it is time to be thankful and spend quality time with those whom you hold dear. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all who frequent here. :hi:
 
#12
#12
rjd970 said:
Merry Christmas to all the religious nutjobs on the board who have been duped by religion their whole life. :)

.....That includes you too VBH
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Don't be so bigoted. There are more nutjobs practicing religions other than just Christianity.
 
#19
#19
golfballs03 said:
Just saying. You should add Hanukkah and Kwanzaa to the list... a lot of duped people would be offended by your omission.
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Why can we say Merry Christmas to each other without starting a heated debate.

Here is an idea .
Let those of us who choose to, peacefully say Merry Christmas without any insults.

If you want to celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or anything else, start a thread about it and we will not insult you.
 
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#21
#21
Would anyone like to come to downtown k-town and have some ham?

It's halal-free! I killed that pig the politically correct way.
 
#23
#23
DinkinFlicka said:
Oh, the OP wrote that article?

I knew TRUT was actually David Sedaris!

C'mon, man.
Click to expand...

Between writing Best-Sellers, I spend time on the Vols Forums. For what it's worth, make sure to go out and buy Me Talk Pretty One Day if you don't already have it.
 
#24
#24
Gramps said:
Why can we say Merry Christmas to each other without starting a heated debate.

Here is an idea .
Let those of us who choose to peacefully Merry Christmas with the insults.
Click to expand...

You're right. The most sincere way to wish someone a Merry Christmas it to tell them the entertainment associated with their holiday sucks.
 
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#25
#25
therealUT said:
Between writing Best-Sellers, I spend time on the Vols Forums. For what it's worth, make sure to go out and buy Me Talk Pretty One Day if you don't already have it.
Click to expand...

I read it a few years back in the midst of my Kurt Vonnegut phase. It did nothing to bring me back into reality, but man... what an odd, entertaining read.
 
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