Movie Lines That Always Make You Laugh

#1
WallyBalls

WallyBalls

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#1
Watching Christmas Vacation this weekend gave me this idea.

I laugh every time Clark Griswold is asked "Where are you going to put a tree that big?" and he says "Bend over and I'll show you" and "I wasn't talking to you." I'll laugh every damn time.


So what lines crack you up?


I'll add Dom Delouise saying "It sounds like steam escaping..." during the French Mistake scene in Blazing Saddles.
 
#4
#4
Dumb and Dumber, Harry and Lloyd get pulled over while driving, and after the cop swishes his mouth with their "beer", as the cop realizes what he just drank, you hear Jim Carey say, "Tic Tac sir?"
 
#5
#5
"You're killing me smalls"

The whole "S'mores" scene in "The Sandlot."

"How can I have some more of nothing?"

Tommy Boy. The whole movie really.

"Richard, who's your favorite Little Rascal? Was it Alfalfa or was it... Spanky?"

(Long pause)

"Sinner"
 
#6
#6
While drunk off his rocker ....." I got two guns. One for each of you."- Doc Holiday on Tombstone.
 
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#8
#8
One of my favorites also from Christmas vacation. After Eddie asks if he's surprised they showed up.
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.
 
#10
#10
"How can we be expected to teach children how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?"

"I wake up in the morning and piss excellence"

Airplane has a ton.
 
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#11
#11
The Other Guys:

Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock (Danson and Highsmith) just took down a gang of criminals and they are giving a speech in front of a cheering audience.

Hot Dog Vendor: "Free Hotdogs for Danson and Highsmith for life!!"

(Audience cheers)

Hot Dog Vendor: "No drinks..... no drinks..... I can't do it."
 
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#12
#12
Jim Varney in "Earnest Saves Christmas"; pretty much everything he does while "in disguise" particularly as the mother of a Hollywood agent "These steps might has well be Mt. Everest" and as the owner of the Apopka Snake Farm "ssssnakes!"

Rodney Dangerfield in "Caddyshack". "Hey, I bet you were something before electricity!" and many others.
 
#13
#13
"What the hell are we supposed to do, you moron?" Stork in Animal House

Caddyshack has so many...."Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it!"
 
#15
#15
Well my nuts half way up my azz other than that I'm perfect- Antony Michael Hall - Weird Science
 
#16
#16
This Is Spinal Tap:

Nigel: Eleven, exactly, Eleven

Marty DiBergi: Why not just make ten louder and have it the highest one"

Nigel: (pause) These go to Eleven!
 
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#18
#18
The Admiral in Hot Shots. " When I look out at you group of guys I think to myself, what I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger.... and a woman".
 
#19
#19
"Gi'us a ciggy..." Gary King (Simon Pegg) to Rosamond Pike in The World's End.

I know it's coming, but I guffaw every time.
 
#20
#20
"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here! This is the war room!" Dr Strangelove

"You never go full retard." Tropic Thunder

"That rug really tied the room together." The Big Lebowski

"I eat pieces of sczhit like you for breakfast."
"You eat pieces of sczhit for breakfast!?" Happy Gilmore

"It's true...this man has no dick." Ghostbusters

I need to stop...this could get silly.
 
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#21
#21
Monty Python and the Holy Grail, has to be one of the most quotable movies ever.
 
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#22
#22
Duncan: There is a war on. How is it you are headed west?

Hawkeye: Well, we kinda face to the north and real subtle-like turn left.

The Last of the Mohicans
 
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#25
#25
The Cajun guy in Joe dirt mumbles home is where you make it and Joe dirt hears and says "you like to see homos naked?"
 
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