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#11,433
#11,433
Obsessed said:
Lol. Yeah I guess.

It wouldn't be so upsetting if things were different.

It's a long drawn out thing, but decisions like this are part of what has my wife and I separated.
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Ob, if you and your wife still love each other don't allow your children to end your marriage. Children have a way of playing their parents against one another to get what they want.
 
#11,436
#11,436
Gramps said:
Ob, if you and your wife still love each other don't allow your children to end your marriage. Children have a way of playing their parents against one another to get what they want.
Click to expand...

I do still love her. I'm not the one allowing our child (only one seems to be the issue) to come between us.



I adopted her when she was 9. Raised her and loved her. She never wanted for anything. The issues started when I started to discipline her or express my opinion on what was going on. When I did these things, I was told (be her mother) I did not love her and was treating her different. (There is 9 years between the two kids)

So after hearing this for years I backed off. Concentrated on work and my son.

About 8 months ago my daughter, her boyfriend, and my grandson (18 months old now) moved in our home. It was against my better judgement as I knew what was going to happen. I can't tolerate bull crap. Never have been able too. The reason I say this, is because my daughters boyfriend is a pathological liar. He so good at it, he could be a politician.

He wouldn't work a steady job up until about 2 months ago. She works part time.

Now, I've been warning my wife that I'm about to snap. It's why I stayed in my shop or our bedroom. She didn't understand this. She got angry at me because she felt like I was ignoring them. Truth be told, it was for my own good. Because I was going to snap.

Go back a couple of weeks. It's 10pm. We are asleep in the bed. Here comes my daughter in the room, wakes us up, wants to know if her son is with us.

I snapped.


The princess through a fit when I questioned her on not knowing where her child was. She got mad. Slammed the door and said she was moving out. I asked her if she needed help packing.

This caused my wife to chase her down and beg her to stay.

I was asked to leave.
 
#11,438
#11,438
Man... You sound like me taking to mother in law. Damn near the same situation over there.

I feel for you brother. If you're ever in upper east Tennessee yell at me. Beers on me.
 
#11,440
#11,440
Obsessed said:
I do still love her. I'm not the one allowing our child (only one seems to be the issue) to come between us.



I adopted her when she was 9. Raised her and loved her. She never wanted for anything. The issues started when I started to discipline her or express my opinion on what was going on. When I did these things, I was told (be her mother) I did not love her and was treating her different. (There is 9 years between the two kids)

So after hearing this for years I backed off. Concentrated on work and my son.

About 8 months ago my daughter, her boyfriend, and my grandson (18 months old now) moved in our home. It was against my better judgement as I knew what was going to happen. I can't tolerate bull crap. Never have been able too. The reason I say this, is because my daughters boyfriend is a pathological liar. He so good at it, he could be a politician.

He wouldn't work a steady job up until about 2 months ago. She works part time.

Now, I've been warning my wife that I'm about to snap. It's why I stayed in my shop or our bedroom. She didn't understand this. She got angry at me because she felt like I was ignoring them. Truth be told, it was for my own good. Because I was going to snap.

Go back a couple of weeks. It's 10pm. We are asleep in the bed. Here comes my daughter in the room, wakes us up, wants to know if her son is with us.

I snapped.


The princess through a fit when I questioned her on not knowing where her child was. She got mad. Slammed the door and said she was moving out. I asked her if she needed help packing.

This caused my wife to chase her down and beg her to stay.

I was asked to leave.
Click to expand...


Aaah the step child. Now that is a entire different game. All I know to say is I will pray for you and good luck.
 
#11,441
#11,441
Ob, didn't mean to jump in on your story. Sucky situation, to be sure.

We had a family live with us a while back. They weren't related, which I'm sure adds some different issues, but it was a very stressful time for me. Due to the circumstances the husband didn't have anywhere to go during most days and it drove me crazy. The wife was great as she helped around the house as much as she could. But still having an able bodied 24 yo man sitting around, eating my food and doing nothing really got to me.

We had to finally sit down and put some structure in place. Everyone had to agree to the ground rules. We set up rules such as quiet hours, chores, meal times etc. It helped because they became more part of the household, not just some people occupying space.

But I was still happy when they were able to leave. ..
 
#11,442
#11,442
YorkVol said:
Ob, didn't mean to jump in on your story. Sucky situation, to be sure.

We had a family live with us a while back. They weren't related, which I'm sure adds some different issues, but it was a very stressful time for me. Due to the circumstances the husband didn't have anywhere to go during most days and it drove me crazy. The wife was great as she helped around the house as much as she could. But still having an able bodied 24 yo man sitting around, eating my food and doing nothing really got to me.

We had to finally sit down and put some structure in place. Everyone had to agree to the ground rules. We set up rules such as quiet hours, chores, meal times etc. It helped because they became more part of the household, not just some people occupying space.

But I was still happy when they were able to leave. ..
Click to expand...

Sounds like you should have been more understanding. Shame on you for forcing others to adhere to your household lifestyle.......
 
#11,445
#11,445
Obsessed said:
I do still love her. I'm not the one allowing our child (only one seems to be the issue) to come between us.



I adopted her when she was 9. Raised her and loved her. She never wanted for anything. The issues started when I started to discipline her or express my opinion on what was going on. When I did these things, I was told (be her mother) I did not love her and was treating her different. (There is 9 years between the two kids)

So after hearing this for years I backed off. Concentrated on work and my son.

About 8 months ago my daughter, her boyfriend, and my grandson (18 months old now) moved in our home. It was against my better judgement as I knew what was going to happen. I can't tolerate bull crap. Never have been able too. The reason I say this, is because my daughters boyfriend is a pathological liar. He so good at it, he could be a politician.

He wouldn't work a steady job up until about 2 months ago. She works part time.

Now, I've been warning my wife that I'm about to snap. It's why I stayed in my shop or our bedroom. She didn't understand this. She got angry at me because she felt like I was ignoring them. Truth be told, it was for my own good. Because I was going to snap.

Go back a couple of weeks. It's 10pm. We are asleep in the bed. Here comes my daughter in the room, wakes us up, wants to know if her son is with us.

I snapped.


The princess through a fit when I questioned her on not knowing where her child was. She got mad. Slammed the door and said she was moving out. I asked her if she needed help packing.

This caused my wife to chase her down and beg her to stay.

I was asked to leave.
Click to expand...
Sorry man. I don't really have any sage words of advice for you. Everyone will have to determine what is most important to him or her. You were put in an impossible situation.
 
#11,446
#11,446
Wow, my guys on shift just figured out how to cover all posts without me having to go in at midnight. Jack Daniels here I come!
 
#11,447
#11,447
YorkVol said:
Ob, didn't mean to jump in on your story. Sucky situation, to be sure.

We had a family live with us a while back. They weren't related, which I'm sure adds some different issues, but it was a very stressful time for me. Due to the circumstances the husband didn't have anywhere to go during most days and it drove me crazy. The wife was great as she helped around the house as much as she could. But still having an able bodied 24 yo man sitting around, eating my food and doing nothing really got to me.

We had to finally sit down and put some structure in place. Everyone had to agree to the ground rules. We set up rules such as quiet hours, chores, meal times etc. It helped because they became more part of the household, not just some people occupying space.

But I was still happy when they were able to leave. ..
Click to expand...

I tried this as well. Seemed I was the only interested in this.

He's 27 and she's 23.

They run around. Going out to eat. Playing with their friends. Mean while the bills were due and my wife expected me to pay them and be quiet about it.

Electric/gas/water all doubled.

I mean, how freaking hard is it to take out the trash? Pick up the Coke can, that fell out of your truck.....
 
#11,448
#11,448
Obsessed said:
I tried this as well. Seemed I was the only interested in this.

He's 27 and she's 23.

They run around. Going out to eat. Playing with their friends. Mean while the bills were due and my wife expected me to pay them and be quiet about it.

Electric/gas/water all doubled.

I mean, how freaking hard is it to take out the trash? Pick up the Coke can, that fell out of your truck.....
Click to expand...

Yeah I figured you had tried this already. You need to figure out a way to get your wife back being a partner. Do you two have your own thing that you do when you have big decisions to make? My wife and I have to go out to eat by ourselves without the kids and come to agreement on the plan before we bring in the kids. Based on your posts I think you could make a good case. You love your wife. You love your daughter and grand kids. You want the best for them etc. But the situation is stressful and not working right. How can we move forward?
 
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#11,449
#11,449
YorkVol said:
Yeah I figured you had tried this already. You need to figure out a way to get your wife back being a partner. Do you two have your own thing that you do when you have big decisions to make? My wife and I have to go out to eat by ourselves without the kids and come to agreement on the plan before we bring in the kids. Based on your posts I think you could make a good case. You love your wife. You love your daughter and grand kids. You want the best for them etc. But the situation is stressful and not working right. How can we move forward?
Click to expand...

Yes. I love my wife, daughter, son and grandson (with another on the way)

I'll give this a shot York and see what comes of it...

Thank you for your input.
 
#11,450
#11,450
YorkVol said:
Yeah I figured you had tried this already. You need to figure out a way to get your wife back being a partner. Do you two have your own thing that you do when you have big decisions to make? My wife and I have to go out to eat by ourselves without the kids and come to agreement on the plan before we bring in the kids. Based on your posts I think you could make a good case. You love your wife. You love your daughter and grand kids. You want the best for them etc. But the situation is stressful and not working right. How can we move forward?
Click to expand...

That's a solid idea.
 
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