Snakes on a Wii
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If you really think this is true answer these 2 questions:
The Emancipation Proclamation was enacted in 1863. The war started in 1861. If it was SOLEY over slavery why didn't the EP happen at the outbreak of the war?
Also, then the Union got around to the EP it was only active in rebellious states. Why?
The answer is that the union had no interest in ending slavery in the south. They did have a platform to stop the proliferation of slavery.
Also, very few people actually owned slaves but many a poor southern boy fought and died under the rebel flag.
Is it possible that the flag and all the pro Southern chants are in praise of the poor Southerners that took up the call to defend their homes from a foreign invader?
At the end of the day you choose to be offended by this historic symbol or not. The choice is yours.
Your EP argument is fallacious. Lincoln wanted to avoid a war, and issuing an EP would only spark one. The entire reason the South was seceding was based on the fear that Lincoln would do something like issue an EP.
The reason why Lincoln's EP only affected the South lies in the EP's purpose. Before, freed slaves were not being returned to their owners after being liberated by the North because the Union claimed that they were "contraband of war". This indicated that the South was a separate sovereign nation, which Lincoln was denying. Moreover, Lincoln wanted to avoid pissing off other states in the Union, lest they join the Confederacy. Finally, the EP would hurt the Confederate's war effort, because many slaves heard of it and fled to the North.
And your last argument misses the point. The fact that poor southern boys fought in the rebel army is not why the rebel flag is an offensive symbol. The Confederacy was an institution established to uphold the institution of slavery.
In the sense that you proposed, it's analogous to a European Christian taking up a Crusader flag to honor the poor young men who fought in the Crusades. While those poor young men certainly sacrificed a lot, that doesn't do much to take away from the fact that they were fighting for an unjust cause. In that same sense, even if one takes up the rebel flag to honor the poor southerners who fought for the Confederacy, by flying the flag to honor them you are tacitly approving of their cause.