Parents With Little Screaming Kids

#26
#26
KB5252 said:
When kids are acting up, such as crying for something one of the worst things you can do is address it right away. It reinforces in them the idea that if they act up they get attention. It reinforces a negative. However after ignoring for a while they continue, you have to address it. It's not easy, you have to walk a thin line.
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Agreed. However, you do not allow this to happen in public. Remove them from public and then they can cry all they want while you ignore them.
 
#28
#28
BigPapaVol said:
I bet that thing's rough.
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Oh but it is, I give nasty looks. :p

allvol123 said:
I bet the woman went home and told her hubby some lady was flirting with her.
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I doubt it, I bet she went home to her baby's daddy saying who does that white girl think she is for looking at me that way, I know she didn't. :eek:lol:

KB5252 said:
And thank you for being the doormat of todays youth!
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Oh you are just too funny!! Not! :whatever:
 
#29
#29
volwindy said:
So are you saying you would let a kid go on for 5 minutes and then finally do something after the 6th minute for instance? Wouldn't that teach them that eventually they will get your attention so all they have to do everytime is continue and continue and well continue until they get it?
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It depends on how frequent and severe the "spells" are. If you ignore the behavior for a moment they are not taught that acting up gets attention. If they are hell bent you respond with the negative, a smack on the rear or hand. That way you do not immediately reinforce the bad behavior but you address it with discipline if they continue.
 
#31
#31
BigPapaVol said:
it's pretty easy to parent from the cheap seats.
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Bingo.

Now that I have a three-year-old, I'm amazed at what I used to let myself get pissed off about before I had kids. Clearly there's a point at which you've got to be able to shut your kid up or remove him from an establishment, but I've had snarky comments from people in places like Costco and the grocery store because he was talking a little too loudly. Apparently some people think we're just not supposed to leave the house at all with him until he's 16 or 17 years old.
 
#32
#32
Vercingetorix said:
Bingo.

Now that I have a three-year-old, I'm amazed at what I used to let myself get pissed off about before I had kids. Clearly there's a point at which you've got to be able to shut your kid up or remove him from an establishment, but I've had snarky comments from people in places like Costco and the grocery store because he was talking a little too loudly. Apparently some people think we're just not supposed to leave the house at all with him until he's 16 or 17 years old.
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Of course not, unless its Walmart.:)
 
#34
#34
allvol123 said:
Agreed. However, you do not allow this to happen in public. Remove them from public and then they can cry all they want while you ignore them.
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True to an extent. Removing them from public can reinforce bad habits too. If you are eating out for example, yes remove them. If you are in a grocery store you can ignore the behavior (you are not ruining a meal someone paid for) and then discipline. That way they learn the rules for public behavior and don't learn they can make Mommy or Daddy take them away from a place they don't want to be right then. There is no one right way, like I said earlier you walk a thin line.
 
#35
#35
KB5252 said:
True to an extent. Removing them from public can reinforce bad habits too. If you are eating out for example, yes remove them. If you are in a grocery store you can ignore the behavior (you are not ruining a meal someone paid for) and then discipline. That way they learn the rules for public behavior and don't learn they can make Mommy or Daddy take them away from a place they don't want to be right then. There is no one right way, like I said earlier you walk a thin line.
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Disagree with that. They do not want to be taken away, they are not getting any good reinforcement for misbehaving.
 
#36
#36
KB5252 said:
True to an extent. Removing them from public can reinforce bad habits too. If you are eating out for example, yes remove them. If you are in a grocery store you can ignore the behavior (you are not ruining a meal someone paid for) and then discipline. That way they learn the rules for public behavior and don't learn they can make Mommy or Daddy take them away from a place they don't want to be right then. There is no one right way, like I said earlier you walk a thin line.
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:disappointed:
 
#37
#37
I really try to make sure my kids don't disturb others in a restaurant, but give me a break . . please don't go to Hooters and complain about the clientele.
 
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#38
#38
allvol123 said:
Disagree with that. They do not want to be taken away, they are not getting any good reinforcement for misbehaving.
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I guess what I meant was kids get restless and they want to be somewhere else (but the grocery store in this case) if you take them outside they have gotten what they wanted and you have reinforced the negative. They have to learn there are things that have to be done. That is what my example was geared towards, sorry I didn't explain that better.
 
#40
#40
GAVol said:
Isn't it amazing how your perspective on what is important and what is worth getting mad about changes?
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I'll still make my kids get it right, but my wife is mortified when our kids make a peep in public. I have to routinely tell her that folks just aren't paying as much attention to our kids as she believes and if they are, they can get over it. That said, my two act foolish, it's on.
 
#41
#41
KB5252 said:
True to an extent. Removing them from public can reinforce bad habits too. If you are eating out for example, yes remove them. If you are in a grocery store you can ignore the behavior (you are not ruining a meal someone paid for) and then discipline. That way they learn the rules for public behavior and don't learn they can make Mommy or Daddy take them away from a place they don't want to be right then. There is no one right way, like I said earlier you walk a thin line.
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i agree completely. no way i am letting my kid ruin someone's meal that they have paid for. in the grocery store or dept. store, that is what the phrase "you are gonna get it when we get in the car/home" is for. :)
 
#43
#43
Behavior management was my wife's passion in her profession. It would be like being married to an architecht, you'd have a kick ass house. My kid behaves.
 
#44
#44
GAVol said:
I really try to make sure my kids don't disturb others in a restaurant, but give me a break . . please don't go to Hooters and complain about the clientele.
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nice point.

further, parents, don't take your infants to freaking Hooters.
 
#45
#45
KB5252 said:
I guess what I meant was kids get restless and they want to be somewhere else (but the grocery store in this case) if you take them outside they have gotten what they wanted and you have reinforced the negative. They have to learn there are things that have to be done. That is what my example was geared towards, sorry I didn't explain that better.
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Yes...you have to take them to a place worse than the one they were trying to get out of....and at times this requires some degree of creativity.
 
#47
#47
allvol123 said:
Behavior management was my wife's passion in her profession. It would be like being married to an architecht, you'd have a kick ass house. My kid behaves.
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One of the reasons I married a child therapist! ( For the record,I mean a woman who does behavioral therapy with kids...not a child who does therapy)
 
#48
#48
Lexvol said:
Yes...you have to take them to a place worse than the one they were trying to get out of....and at times this requires some degree of creativity.
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It is hard to get much worse than Wal Mart unless you have a Steven King like imagination.
 
#49
#49
Lexvol said:
One of the reasons I married a child therapist! ( For the record,I mean a woman who does behavioral therapy with kids...not a child who does therapy)
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Ha, that is awesome Lex. I am sure our wives share some mutual interests. Their talents do pay off nicely.
 
#50
#50
KB5252 said:
It is hard to get much worse than Wal Mart unless you have a Steven King like imagination.
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In the car with Daddy is a fate worse than death according to my 6 year old . . . who has never actually gone to the car with Daddy.
 
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