Post Your Resume for DC

[Vato]

Ah, well, I attended Juilliard, I am a graduate of the Harvard Business School, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and I had a pretty good time during that, I've seen The Exorcist about 167 TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
You think I'm qualified?

 

[thistime]

I started playing backyard football form the age of 4 or 5.

I play all through Jr and High School

I was recruited by UT back in the day as a LB and FB. Lide Huggins was the one I talked with, that
should tell you how long ago that was early 70's. Decided I need a job more than a education....big mistake....maybe, Always regretted never running through the T.

I still call linebackers by the position on the field, middle, left, right and not their first name Mike, Will or Sam

I think if given time I could show them how tackle with their shoulders and not their arms.

I could teach gang tackling and ball pursuit like we were known for.

I could develop a plan to stop a crossing route and cover backs out of the backfield .

I would recruit people that could carry out the defensive plans as stated above.

 

[Indianrick]

My grandmother was DC for Yale back in the 20's, she taught me everything I know.

 

[JonGrudensAgent]

I think I hit 10K posts on here recently.

 

[Panthro]

Team videographer in 8th grade.

Was second seat for radio broadcast of high school games when I was a 9th grader.

One of the shirtless idiots with something written on my chest during the Maryville Rebels state championship season of ‘98.

Coached middle school girls’ soccer.

Community Relations Manager for the new Dick’s Sporting Goods store at West Town.

Tons of “upside.”

Very few “character concerns.”

 

[RDU VOL#14]

My grandmother was DC for Yale back in the 20's, she taught me everything I know.

 

[Cobb-Webb 1989]

I watched Woody Hayes

 

[MurphyVol]

3rd string noseguard in HS and an expert on the very modern 5-2 defense

 

[Cobb-Webb 1989]

3rd string noseguard in HS and an expert on the very modern 5-2 defense

 

[OrangeSquid]

I'm not Pruitt.

 

[Bloodrunsorange27]

Had to make some updates for this one:

* Played football from little league through high school
* My wife has told me if we ever had a child their first words would either be “wrap up” or “set the edge” which shows my recognition that our defenses generally don’t do either
* can usually spot a bad announcer within a play or two
* Have held records on virtually every college football video game going back to Tecmo Bowl
* I don’t have a motorcycle or a mistress so no concerns there
** In full disclosure - I’m really just throwing my name in the ring for DC to get a raise in my current job

 

[VOLfrombama]

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

 

[LordVOLdemort]

I have a really nice lazyboy armchair

I have coached a 7on7 football team to a league championship in the last decade

I throw a pretty nice spiral that my kids can’t catch

I graduated from UT, so pedigree intact
I have multiple articles of clothing in P151

 

[tnutater]

1. Never worked or played for Saban.
2. Hate Florida and Georgia
3. Willing to listen to Volnation expert advice.
4. VFL
5. Willing to sign contract guaranteed for only 5 million per year for 10 years. I want all money up front.
6. Apparently only person willing to take job.

You are fired.
Anyone not including bama on their hate list need not apply.

 

[ftsandersvol]

I’m mean as sh*t, and I will teach my defensive players to be the same. ‘Nuff said.

 

[Ratvol]

Heck, I can’t even spell DC.

Go VOLS

 

[TNRazor]

I guarantee if they knock us down we'll bite their kneecaps

 

[sonofUT62]

(*) I'll be a better DC than Sal Sunseri
(*) I guarantee I'll land all the top football prospects out of the greater Flag Pond area
(*) I'm very good at spending multi-million dollar buyouts.

Flag Pond? Since there’s no WH do you fight your enemies at Clarences?

 

[Rylee_Vol18]

I coached 9-10 year old girls softball last year. I'm ready.

 

[DaddyChad]

1. I will do literally anything for money

You start Monday

 

[tnutater]

I coached 9-10 year old girls softball last year. I'm ready.

WINNER
Hire him.
He has lived thru all the drama possible.
Bitchin, backstabbing, gossiping are nothing to him now.
Player Moms are the worst .
The kids just want to have fun.

 

[OH-Vol]

No Tecmo Bowl offense could cross the 50 yard line against me with Ronnie Lott or Lawrence Taylor

 

[robby487]

Never coached foosball before
Will not use Mickey D sacks

 

[pharmDvol11]

Not my resume but here’s my job interview:

[VIDEO=][/VIDEO]

 

[Doc_Vol]

1 Coached a UTM girls intermural football team to a undefeated season in 1999
2 none of the above applicants stand a chance in NCAA or Madden pick your year and get wrecked son
3 talks trash and will definitely kick Kiffin in the nuts at midfield shake to unite the fan base
4 intern in UTM recruiting office in early 2000s never gave anyone cash in a McDonalds bag
5 Willing to wear orange pants and do other absurd things simply to troll Doolander
6 Already know all the words to Rocky Top and the Maxims
7 F 3rd and Chavis