Post Your Resume for DC

[Vfl2407]

I’m still breathing (with help of oxygen tank)
The only leaking I do is from my adult diapers
I will say yes

 

[orange_glory]

.

 

[VolsSince78]

- I've sailed the Seven Seas. Backwards.
- GMT conforms to me.
- I won the SubLant Sailor of the Year. Two years before I joined the Navy.
- Inspection teams used to ask me how they did.
- Mean Joe Greene has cried on my shoulder.
- Mike Singletary paid me to teach him how to stare.
- Peyton called me to make sure it was okay before he climbed the ladder to lead the band.
- If you re-arrange the letters "Clint Eastwood" and "Chuck Norris", you can almost spell my name.
- I gave General Mattis his bearskin rug. It wasn't dead; I trained it to lay there like that.
- I've been in Neyland Stadium when the stands literally shook. I was the only one there.
- The band plays "Rocky Top" when I open a beer. That's why they're so good at it.
- I don't need the money. Banks ask me for loans.
- Grand Vol would be my Co-DC. You really want some of this?

Go Vols.

Ha! Ha! And I’ll bet you were the guy who knocked out Jack Lambert’s teeth. But, you didn’t even bother to include it in your above accomplishments, because you left him a tooth or two.

 

[Majors]

Medical sales
College baseball player
Intramural flag football runner up
Played NCAA 97 and would beat TN 98-99 GA weekly

I’ll take a 1 year contract of 1.5 million no buyout.

 

[GreyWolf1129]

Ha! Ha! And I’ll bet you were the guy who knocked out Jack Lambert’s teeth. But, you didn’t even bother to include it in your above accomplishments, because you left him a tooth or two.

I would never hurt Jack Lambert. They fell out when I was shaking his hand. Obviously, I apologized on the spot.

 

[Vfl2407]

Medical sales
College baseball player
Intramural flag football runner up
Played NCAA 97 and would beat TN 98-99 GA weekly

I’ll take a 1 year contract of 1.5 million no buyout.

Pertinent question:
when you played flag football, did you ever successfully defend against the slant pass?

 

[Majors]

Pertinent question:
when you played flag football, did you ever successfully defend against the slant pass?

Yes, defending the slant is a standard defense package with the quick rush.

 

[Vfl2407]

Yes, defending the slant is a standard defense package with the quick rush.

You are hired.
please go get an Orange tie for the press conference.
the CORRECT shade of Orange is Pantone 151. Wear it. If you screw that up and wear Florida orange, or Clemson Orange, or that God awful brown Texas shade, you will be fired.

 

[volsrock09]

Played 3 games of Madden earlier.....1 shutout, gave up 10 points against the 7-1 Ravens (threw a pick 6 so don't trust my offensive pedigree hahah), 3 points in the other.

 

[VOLnMiami]

I once intercepted a pass during a game and one time on an end around Mike "Stop" Cofer damn near killed me...Back then we played 2 way ball...I feel i am more than qualified for the DC position...1.2 million will be fine....Where do I sign?

 

[GroverCleveland]

I won the Presidency twice, non consecutive terms. Modernized the Navy. Updated coastal fortifications that had been ignored since the 1870s.

Unfortunately, do not know much about football.

 

[TennesseeTarheel]

I was once a turtleherder. I wasn't the brains of the operation, but, it was my responsibility to turn them on their backs at night to prevent stampedes.

 

[The_Big_Orange]

Have coached pee wee football. We didn’t win a game but that’s because this one kid wouldn’t tackle anyone. We did manage a tie once tho

 

[HollowaytoSeivers]

Wouldn't that be special teams?

 

[joevol33]

I've never lost a game of Tecmo Superbowl on NES. I can go an entire season without giving up a point, or positive yardage. I've actually got to the playoffs, given up a yard, and started over! I won't even mention tge points I score, and leading every category on offense.

 

[HollowaytoSeivers]

I would literally put liquid laxative in opposing coaches Gatorade on each and every game day if I was hired as DC.

Nice strategy. That would make the opposing team's offense one dimensional as they would have the runs.

Thank you for your time.

 

[peaygolf]

Wouldn't that be special teams?

Yea........

This is better

 

[landscapingvol]

Played baseball in college
Have coached at all levels except elementary/pee wee
Operated a business
My kids think I am hip so I can probably speak jive

 

[volspeach]

I would literally put liquid laxative in opposing coaches Gatorade on each and every game day if I was hired as DC.

Well #22 at Florida will never forget that game on tv and gatorade, LOL

 

[TruthIsOutThere]

Has the guts to run field goal block on 3rd and 1!

 

[ZZ13]

Lived in Carrick same time as Chavis during his several attempts to walk on under Battle (he was rejected until Majors arrived). Chatted with him many times on the elevator (I was on 10th, he was on 12th). Feel I got a full mind meld of his knowledge at the time. I should be good to go.