Recruiting Forum Football Talk V

[engineerVOL]

I didn’t realize we had such a high concentration of detectives and lawyers in this forum.

And alpha-nerdy ultra-hot, beefcake engineers. But here we are.

 

[RiseToTheTop]

Two words:

House Money

Facts

 

[TennSam]

Not sure if this is a true story about self-tasering or not, but it is pretty dang funny. Long read, but worth it.

WARNING FOR ALL MALES FROM ME
Last weekend I saw something at The Gun Show that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Dana. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Dana what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Leo looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Leo (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. He is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with his head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
· My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

That’s hilarious!

 

[LadyVolette]

Clearly you’ve never been a drunk 20-year old male, full of piss and vinegar and aggressive ambition.

Lol no, I have not that’s some lopsided and unwarranted bravado lol

 

[MarcoVol]

 

[Enki_Amenra]

The circle will be complete if we wear all orange uniforms this weekend!

 

[Nash_Vol97]

How could you not love this guy?

Heupel pushing away praise on him and instead giving all the praise to his players, meanwhile, in Kentucky on Saturday, Beamer started crying postgame about how “2 years ago, this same week, I was announced as HC. These kids don’t know who Shane Beamer was…yada yada.” As @nicksjuzunk said in response to the video, he made it all about him.

 

[Orange_Crush]

Yeah but then you stated what if you were the parent of the kid who got into this incident lol. I am just saying you are making a lot of statements on what could of happened and what we should think could of happened if we were in the victims parents shoes, rather than just going if the current facts of the situation.

I mean personally if I accidentally walked into someone’s apartment and left, no matter if the dude was being a dick I’m not going to get into a verbal altercation with them lol, I would of been in the wrong. The guys words were “I don’t know why you are being a b***h about it” lol after he just broke into their apartment.

I was answering someone who placed me in that theoretical circumstance per me daughter. The logic is still: per the theoretical situation as described, if it was my daughter's apartment...

 

[Orange_Crush]

You assume he just apologized and left.

I had already stated I was talking about if the stayed facts were true, while allowing that they aren't.

 

[Orange_Crush]

Uh, if my adult son got too drunk and broke into someone’s apartment, I would tell him he is fortunate to not have been shot dead inside the apartment.

You woukd be right. Hopefully you'd also hope someone wouldn't smash his teeth out.

 

[Orange.]

Beamer made it about himself. Exact opposite of what Heupel does.

Confirmed.

How could you not love this guy?

 

[WesTnVol]

I wonder if CJH not being from here(SEC country) has anything to do with his approach to our big rivalry games?
I don’t think he feels the weight of its been 10-15 years since we beat team x he’s just game planning for Alabama cause there our next game.

 

[Playdo]

 

[Jimmy Football]

I sometimes wonder if our offense demoralizes the secondary during practice, which leads them to give other teams’ receivers too much respect and cushion.

 

[volbeast33]

I am looking at it from the perspective of what's been released, and what many people are responding to. I said that clearly in my post, and even made it blatant with the "this may not even be what happened" comment. And per the "from the victim's perspective" I spoke to this:



I'm thinking of this from a legal and common decency perspective. If the guy accidentally walked into the wrong apartment, apologized, and was followed out... Then he is the victim. Not the girl.

You say "But, looking at it from a reasonable perspective of current facts."... And that I'm "While dismissing the facts."

Then you defend the assault as thoug the drunk moron was a rapist that burst into the apartment with a machete.

It's. A. Freaking. Apartment. Complex.

Stuff like this happens.

The only facts we have is that the drunk guy went into their apartment and McCullough punched him…. Do you trust the words of a guy so drunk that he didn’t know he was in the wrong apartment? I would guess that it didn’t go down the way it’s being reported…. It will probably be no big deal to McCullough…. Just wish it would happen before Saturday.

 

[Playdo]

Ok, which one of yous was it

 

[Orange.]

I wonder if CJH not being from here(SEC country) has anything to do with his approach to our big rivalry games?
I don’t think he feels the weight of its been 10-15 years since we beat team x he’s just game planning for Alabama cause there our next game.

It's because he is a great coach. He doesn't cave under pressure. He likes competition. He teaches the team to focus on one practice at a time. He teaches the team not to look ahead. Being distracted by outside pressure is not the mark of a good coach or a good team. He expects to win and to enjoy the game and he has taught the team to do the same. They look like they are having fun out there. When a reporter asks him all about "years ago" or whatever, he simply focuses on what he wants to say. He doesn't buy into the rigamarole. A good coach from SEC country would do the same thing.

 

[Orange.]

WGWTFA

 

[KingVFL]

@KingNico any buzz or recruiting tidbits? Any flip candidates? Big names now taking serious notice? GBO!

We’re hot hot hot. Most of the impact of this season will be felt in 2024s but I think there are going to be some guys in 2023 that want in too and numbers will be tight. Ayden Williams, Keldric Faulk, Vysen Lang, Dante Dowdell, Tomarrion Parker, Elijah Davis, Arion Carter, Daevin Hobbs are the more obvious names and we have nice dialogue with all right now. Let’s see on the tackles that we missed on (Ramil, Simmons, Francis).. all their schools are driving off a cliff right now. Then there are the kids we’re swinging big with (M’Pemba, Tate, Rogers + Francis). Let’s see but this will be a strong close for us, a big portal opportunity and a huge 2024. Amazing how much winning helps

 

[Jack Burton]

Watch and learn…

I was the guy who would leave the house.

 

[JohnnyD1024]

 

[Playdo]

Sampson won't play against Alabama, I'd say

 

[VOLED]

Shane Beamer has made wildly celebrating mediocrity an art form...what surprises me is the legion of idiots outside of South Carolina that actually buy into the lame, stupid he says and does instead of seeing how lame, stupid and ty it is...

I don't understand it all, especially considering how he talks to media..

Beamer's problem is he gets too high and gets too low. Way too emotional to be successful.

 

[hotcypress]

Based on the facts as presented in this forum, my gut is that Jaylen pleas down to a misdemeanor assault charge and this is wrapped up without jail time. I think the aggravated aspect of the assault is shaky, especially if they are considering the fall down the stairs to be the event raising it to felony level. Good lesson to learn for all homeowners - castle defense doctrine (protect the home) does not extend to a situation where you are chasing the individual outside of your house and continue to aggress the individual when he/she is clearly fleeing. Without any further facts, he's guilty of assault. The law is designed specifically so individuals do not get incentivized to take the law into their own hands.

 

[Aesius]

Beamer's problem is he gets too high and gets too low. Way too emotional to be successful.

He's going to immediately implode once the real expectations start to set in. Same with Butch.

We thought we had "Butch Stones" in 2013 and even some of 2014, but he couldn't handle the heat once the roster was mostly rebuilt.

And unlike Butch, Josh Dobbs isn't walking through that door for Beamer.