dont want Bruce beating you with another SEC team? Easy solution, hire Ben Howland.
Before I sign off on agreeing that we should look at Howland, here's some things I want to know:
Has Howland ever lied about any cookouts or barbecues?
Is he married or divorced?
If divorced, then has he bought any beauty salons for ex?
Can/Will he take shirt off and paint chest?
Would any contracts stipulate partial payment in tacos?
Will he sing Rocky Top all night long?
Bamboo?
Bricks?
Sticks of Destiny?
Fairy dust?
What's his shower etiquette like?
Does he know any Germans?
If he breaks his hip will he have a personal stool assistant?
Does he have a helicopter mom?
Speaking of helicopters- will he greet recruits in a helicopter?
How's his hair?
Butt chug?
Is his wife hot?
Own a motorcycle?
Is he 40 or over?
Does he own land in Tennessee?
Was his wife a cheerleader here?
Is he Jon Gruden?
Does he clap his hands and check films?
Can Bob pronounce his name?
Does he lick his fingers?
Are any of these phrases in his repertoire:
"Without a doubt",
"It's like I've been saying",
"It's a process",
"Mental toughness",
"You know",
"Eye discipline",
"Rise to the top",
"Fist up",
"Brick by brick",
"Best staff in the country",
"Check the films",
"Anchor down (if he says this ... do not want!),
"Tennessee tough",
"Controlled chaos"