Ask Ron Mexico Anything, Except For Life Advice

[The Ron Mexico]

Geez, next your gonna start chargin me for bangin your ol lady.

How much?

"No matter how they look now, somebody, somewhere, is tired of their ****."

Old Endzone Proverb

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Ron. Keyboard Kat thinks YOU can decide whether he's an official Zonetard. Isn't that hilarious?

He has made a wise decision. You should follow his lead.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Trm can u ban them
From calling that guy keyboard kat. I iz only
Kat in 'zone

No, I named him Keyboard Kat. However, he has offered to change it to a "c". So it shall be.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Ron, do you find Pooch's jealousy amusing since I didn't ask him? Boom!

Amusing or disappointing. I can't decide.

 

[OrangeEmpire]

Trm,

Measurements thread, push it

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Trm,

Measurements thread, push it

Proceeding.

 

[Thrasher865]

I iz only
Kat in 'zone

Are you saying BPC is not welcome in the zone?

 

[theFallGuy]

ron,

what is it with young asian girls at sushi restaurants? ytheysohot?

 

[Scotty's Flat Top]

ron,

what is it with young asian girls at sushi restaurants? ytheysohot?

I like they sushi rolls. Hawter than Wasabi.

 

[rockyvols]

Jm

Why do cooters turn into camel toes and moose knuckles

 

[The Ron Mexico]

ron,

what is it with young asian girls at sushi restaurants? ytheysohot?

They're looking for a round eye to show them the American way.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Jm

Why do cooters turn into camel toes and moose knuckles

Camel toe = good
Moose knuckle = bad

That's important to remember.

Why it happens is because some women use it as a mating call. They probably want you to sex them.

 

[95 Vol Alum]

The,

Can you send me a roll of plastic, a pair of scissors, a cotton rag, and some duct tape?

 

[The Ron Mexico]

The,

Can you send me a roll of plastic, a pair of scissors, a cotton rag, and some duct tape?

Yes.


Totally unrelated question: How's your gimp doin'?

 

[95 Vol Alum]

The,

Do you know how to repair kitchen cabinets? Also, what's the best way to stitch a 3" gash to the leg?

Gimp's gonna make it.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

The,

Do you know how to repair kitchen cabinets? Also, what's the best way to stitch a 3" gash to the leg?

Gimp's gonna make it.

When you say "repair" what are we talking about here? Replacing hinges and staining kinda of work or removing blood stains and scratch marks from the inside.

Do not go to the ER. They'll get suspicious. You're gonna need a fishing hook, white thread a bite down towel and a lot of whiskey.

 

[95 Vol Alum]

Dammit, The. Screw the cabinets now.

What's the best way to sterilize a bite to the nipple? Whiskey's all gone.

Also, what's the easiest way to score Lorazepam at this time of night?

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Dammit, The. Screw the cabinets now.

What's the best way to sterilize a bite to the nipple? Whiskey's all gone.

Also, what's the easiest way to score Lorazepam at this time of night?

Well, it looks like I'm about 7 hours too late to help you in this case. I hope everything turned as well as it could given the unique situation.

But for next time, a lot of Hydrogen Peroxide (H2O2) and a sturdy bandage should help you out. In extreme cases, you may have to remove the nipple with a steak knife.

As for the Lorazepam, I wish I had seen this last night before I went to bed. I know a guy who operates as an "independent pharmacist". He has anything you may need .

 

[barknoxbrawler]

When you say "repair" what are we talking about here? Replacing hinges and staining kinda of work or removing blood stains and scratch marks from the inside.

Do not go to the ER. They'll get suspicious. You're gonna need a fishing hook, white thread a bite down towel and a lot of whiskey.

Barbless for sure.

Mexico,
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Barbless for sure.

Mexico,
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

That's the way The Man has set it up to confuse us. Just another way for The Man to control us.

 

[barknoxbrawler]

That's the way The Man has set it up to confuse us. Just another way for The Man to control us.

The man being Freak or a power higher then he?

 

[WA_Vol]

Mexico why do my farts smell good but other peoples stink? Mine smell like lavender but other people's smell like $#!!. Sometimes to freshen up the house I leave the door when I'm taking a dump to make the whole house smell like lavender.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

The man being Freak or a power higher then he?

Much higher than Freak. Someone almost as high as me.

 

[The Ron Mexico]

Mexico why do my farts smell good but other peoples stink? Mine smell like lavender but other people's smell like $#!!. Sometimes to freshen up the house I leave the door when I'm taking a dump to make the whole house smell like lavender.

I have some disappointing news for you. Tou are suffering from a condition that causes you to not come to grips with reality. The people from Eastern State are on their way over as we speak.

 

[PoochPunt3rdDown]

Ron. How many guns do you own, and do they have names?