Bama Jokes!!!!!!!!!

#102
#102
I'm surprised they have internet and all in Alabama. Wonder how many cups and string it took to get it going down there??
 
#104
#104
Ddin't read through all jokes so this mighta been posted

After Bear Bryant dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bear a little two-bedroom house with a faded Alabama banner hanging from the front porch.

"This is your house, coach," God says happily."Most people don't get their own houses up here."

Bear looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Tennessee flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Vols banner hangs between the marble columns.

"Thanks for the house, God," Bear says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Neyland gets a mansion with Vols banners and Tennessee flags flying all over the place. Why is that?"

God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Bear, that's not Neyland's house. That's mine."
 
#108
#108
Cincy Vol o5 said:
Ddin't read through all jokes so this mighta been posted

After Bear Bryant dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bear a little two-bedroom house with a faded Alabama banner hanging from the front porch.

"This is your house, coach," God says happily."Most people don't get their own houses up here."

Bear looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Tennessee flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Vols banner hangs between the marble columns.

"Thanks for the house, God," Bear says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Neyland gets a mansion with Vols banners and Tennessee flags flying all over the place. Why is that?"

God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Bear, that's not Neyland's house. That's mine."
Click to expand...
thats classic!!!
 
#114
#114
Two men were sitting on a plane side by side conversing. Finally, one said to the other...You're an Alabama Graduate??
The AL Grad...was astonished..and said, Yes, I am, How did you know???, by my astuteness, by my diction, or my knolwlege of world events???
NO..(said the TN Grad.)......I saw the ring on your finger while you were pickin' your nose!!!!
 
#115
#115
i was watching Blazing Saddles the other day, and there was a line that reminded me of the bammers, its where reverend johnson is talkin:
Churches burned, women stampeded CATTLE RAPED...
 
#116
#116
A blind UT fan was in a bar having a drink in Tuscaloosa when he asked the Bartender, "hey, do you want to hear an Alabama joke?" The bartender, knowing the gentleman was blind said "Sir, before you tell that joke you may want to know that I was an All-American linebacker for the tide, and the gentleman to your left was a former offensive lineman and is about 6'3'' and weighs 300lbs and the gentleman to your right was also an offensive lineman. Now sir, do you still want to tell that joke?" The blind man replied, "well not if I'm going to have to explain it 3 different times"
 
#118
#118
2 Alabama fans are walking down the street. One turns to the other and asks, "Billy Bob, whatcha got their in yer bag?" Billy Bob says, "just some chickens, Bubba." Bubba says, "Billy Bob, if I guess how many chickens are in yer bag, will ya give me one?" To which Billy Bob responds, "Shoot. I'll give ya both of em."
 
#119
#119
Jasongivm6 said:
This isn't a joke. This is reality.

YouTube - Drunk Bama Fan Kissing Coach Saban

There's a thin line in most places. Just not Alabama.
Click to expand...

coach3.jpg
 
#120
#120
A UT Med student is about to do an autopsy on a cadavor when he notices a cork in the cadavor's a$$hole. Suprised, he pulls out the cork and "Sweet Home Alabama" starts playing. Confused he puts the cork back in and goes to get his professor. They arrive back in the room and the studnet again removes the cork and the song starts playing...The professor looks at the UT student and says "big deal", come Saturday there will be 70,000 more assholes singing the same song!
 
#122
#122
It was the first day of 2nd Grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad nodded and told him, "That's because you are from Alabama, Son." The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. It's Grade Three, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but Little Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "That's because you are from Alabama, Son." The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well-endowed". This confused him. That night he told his dad, "Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from Alabama?" he asked. "No, Son," explained his Dad, "That's because you're 18."
 
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#124
#124
TheTennesseeTom said:
It was the first day of Third Grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his Dad how well he had done. His Dad nodded and told him, "That's because you are from Alabama, Son." The next day, in language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. It's Grade Three, so most could make it half way through without much trouble. Some made it to S or T, but Little Johnny rattled off the alphabet perfectly right to the end. That evening, Johnny once again bragged to his Dad about his prowess in his new school. His Dad, knowingly, explained to him, "That's because you are from Alabama, Son." The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking showers. Johnny noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well-endowed". This confused him. That night he told his dad, "Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from Alabama?" he asked. "No, Son," explained his Dad, "That's because you're 18."
Click to expand...

HAHAHA thats awesome :rock:
 
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