Florida Man personifies all that is wrong with the state

[malinoisvol]

Behr?

Let's do this right... @Behr

 

[utvolpj]

Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill in Niceville

When firefighters got to the home around 5:30 p.m., they could see smoke coming from inside. A naked man opened the front door, said, “I’m sorry” and closed the door.

 

[LouderVol]

Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill in Niceville

two liters of vodka and a whole marijuana. good times.

 

[golfballs]

 

[GVF]

Was he planning on going fast?!

 

[GVF]

WTH did I just read?

Don't know, but the dude has some serious issues. lol.

 

[GVF]

Florida man shot at woman's home after she wrote bad restaurant review, police say

the WTF part is how she literally didn't understand why she was getting negative feedback.

 

[pismonque]

Ah, the Humps For Bumps program....

 

[golfballs]

Seems reasonable tbh
Florida man threatens to kill professor over 7 a.m. final: police

 

[Boca Vol]

Seems reasonable tbh
Florida man threatens to kill professor over 7 a.m. final: police

I had some douche bag TA at UT that gave an exam the day after the Super Bowl. He didn't realize the Super Bowl was that Sunday.

 

[NorCalVol67]

I had some douche bag TA at UT that gave an exam the day after the Super Bowl. He didn't realize the Super Bowl was that Sunday.

UT had exams? Guess that explains why I was only enrolled for two years.

 

[golfballs]

Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview at Kohl's

Breedlove was taken into custody in the parking lot. Deputies say he had one pair of women's Nike Air Bella TR shoes valued at $80 and another valued at $70.

The sheriff's office says Breedlove did not get the job.

 

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview at Kohl's

The stupidity of humans never ceases to amaze me

 

[YankeeVol]

Cops: Man made threats to Tyler Trent's mother

 

[NorCalVol67]

Cops: Man made threats to Tyler Trent's mother

I saw that. Disgusting.

 

[VolNExile]

I posted this on the Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot thread, but maybe it should have been here:

Florida Man Says that Syringes Found in His Rectum Aren't His - News Breaking

The “did not know how they got there“ bit makes this a Florida Man item.

 

[alaVOL]

It's a sad reflection of what our country has become in all these stories. Pray for our nation. REALLY!

 

[golfballs]

Florida Man tells neighbor he will ‘kill him with kindness’, uses machete he named ‘kindness’

 

[xJesusx56]

Florida Man tells neighbor he will ‘kill him with kindness’, uses machete he named ‘kindness’

 

[pismonque]

Florida Man tells neighbor he will ‘kill him with kindness’, uses machete he named ‘kindness’

Turns out he had planned a more elaborate crime spree. Police also found in his possession a plastic bag named "Affection" and a tarp named "Kisses". He was going to kill one person with Kindness, smother someone else with Affection and cover them both with Kisses.

 

[Tin Man]

Florida man charged after "eating" police patrol car seat, cocaine trafficking

 

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

Florida man charged after "eating" police patrol car seat, cocaine trafficking

He was hungry

 

[YankeeVol]

Well FL woman here but

Woman shot after performing sex act for $5, Pringles, police say

 

[LouderVol]

Well FL woman here but

Woman shot after performing sex act for $5, Pringles, police say

went all GTA on her.

 

[malinoisvol]

Well FL woman here but

Woman shot after performing sex act for $5, Pringles, police say

She had a No Returns Policy.