I'm making my third attempt..

[Cyclopskiller]

Look I'm not a Minister. I just know when we all finally reach a certain age - for the sake of this discussion let's call it the 'age of accountability.' At some point in life we begin to miss something inside. We have an emptiness. I'll tell you that 'emptiness' is indeed intended to be filled with something. What is that something? Well I personally believe it is that portion of God known as the Holy Spirit. You may not want to hear this but you need to hear this ... Jesus promised the world that he would send the Holy Spirit after his Crucifixion and Resurrection some time around 32 years after his birth around 2014 years ago. Regardless of what anyone else says on here this is Truth. I personally, very strongly believe that the only way you will ever successfully be free of acoholism is to fill that 'emptiness' with the Holy Spirit. That is what was designed to fill it. I want to encourage you to seek help - not in AA - but in a nearby Church that preaches from the real Bible. Your answer is there. It's free. It works. Really! It is for you. I'll pray for you to read this, hear this, and respond appropriately. I just by chance happened by his post. I rarely post here. I never post like this.

Thanks man!

 

[Cyclopskiller]

Thank all ya'll, you're good people..

 

[pa136761]

Been through the same feelings for 30 years. I may have some insight if you are serious and want to discuss, just pm me...

 

[Behr]

Look I'm not a Minister. I just know when we all finally reach a certain age - for the sake of this discussion let's call it the 'age of accountability.' At some point in life we begin to miss something inside. We have an emptiness. I'll tell you that 'emptiness' is indeed intended to be filled with something. What is that something? Well I personally believe it is that portion of God known as the Holy Spirit. You may not want to hear this but you need to hear this ... Jesus promised the world that he would send the Holy Spirit after his Crucifixion and Resurrection some time around 32 years after his birth around 2014 years ago. Regardless of what anyone else says on here this is Truth. I personally, very strongly believe that the only way you will ever successfully be free of acoholism is to fill that 'emptiness' with the Holy Spirit. That is what was designed to fill it. I want to encourage you to seek help - not in AA - but in a nearby Church that preaches from the real Bible. Your answer is there. It's free. It works. Really! It is for you. I'll pray for you to read this, hear this, and respond appropriately. I just by chance happened by his post. I rarely post here. I never post like this.

Why not AA?

 

[Orangeslice13]

Why not AA?

In my opinion AA seeks to replace one addiction with another. It for me encourges a dependence on others. At the end of the day it really is between you and God. That's all there is. AA has worked for a lot of people its just not the best solution. That's just this addicts opion and probably not worth much though.

 

[Behr]

In my opinion AA seeks to replace one addiction with another. It for me encourges a dependence on others. At the end of the day it really is between you and God. That's all there is. AA has worked for a lot of people its just not the best solution. That's just this addicts opion and probably not worth much though.

What other addiction(s) does it try to use as a replacement?

NM. I see "it encourages a dependence on others."

 

[Orangeslice13]

What other addiction(s) does it try to use as a replacement?

Dependence on other people and the system.
Again, its done well for many people, I just think its flawed.

 

[Behr]

Is your opinion based on your personal experience with AA?

 

[Orangeslice13]

Yes.

 

[Behr]

Okay. If you don't want to talk about it here, we won't. But the last time you and I talked about this, one of us misunderstood the other.

 

[volinbham]

I have no advice to offer that hasn't been given already.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Orangeslice13]

Okay. If you don't want to talk about it here, we won't. But the last time you and I talked about this, one of us misunderstood the other.

It was probably me misunderstanding you.
I'm often have moments of "not very smart".

 

[TXA&M07]

From a person who has similar struggles I wish you the very best. I too have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol from time to time. I have that relationship for a variety of resons. Some are selfish, some are due to my other relationships, and some are due to my continuos battle with anxiety/depression.

I'm able to find comfort with this issue by attending Mass, trusting in the advice and councel from my preist, and yes, I've even elected to seek out other outside counscling as well. That was something I was extremely reluctant to do for many years. I arrogantly claim I truly have control over this issue, but I'll admit here, that I dont have as much control as I make out. I dont let it effect my wife or kids, or my job, so I justify it that way. It is not something thats easy to discuss.

Many times I'll say I like to have a drink because I like the taste. That's true. I'm not in to the hard stuff so I use that excuse too. The concern is, on a Tuesday night with no sports on tv, I'll look up after watching something like the Military channel or something and I will have had 8-9 beers. For what reason? Its Tuesday. Its not a holiday. Its not a party. Its just Tuesday. A work night. I'll ask myself why did you do that?

This is tough and I really wish I had an answer. A lot of the advice you've been given here is good. A lot of it is stuff that I should take in consideration too. You may be relecutant though, and I get that too. Trust me, I get that.

Try this as it has seemed to work for me recently. Limit the amount you purchase per a weekly basis and refuse to go over that limit. If you buy a 30 pack on Friday, thats all you get between Friday afternoon until next Friday. You have a bender at the house over the weekend and run out, you're out. Period. Dont drink in public. You sit down for a meal, even at a sports bar, you have tea. Or a Dr Pepper.

If you choose to ration yourself during the week, dont just set a limit to how many youre gonna have, but also a specific time youre gonna be done. IE: I've got 5 beers for tonight. I'll be done at 9 pm.

You might be suprised how well this works. For me, it set limits that I came well under. I was drinking far less, going to bed much earlier, and not feeling a need to purchase more once I ran out.


Look man, I dont know the answers and some folks may scoff at my suggestions. I'm just offering up what I have been able to do to limit this issue for myself.

Hell, you may think its all bs too, but I'll tell you one thing. We're the same age, and I dont know your background and you dont know mine, but if you want to talk it out together, I'll be willing to. I'm past the stage of hearing folks saying "you have to quit cold turkey". They've come to realize that didnt work for me either. I "choose" not to quit because I refuse to let it control me. Because of that, I've taken personal responsibilty of it and set limits on myself. It seems to be working much better for everyone around me too.

 

[Grand Vol]

Thank y'all so much, I know half the time I come off as a joker, but this is serious to me.. I stopped drinking tonight, but I know the devil will be in my ear tomorrow..

I was where you are at one point myself. Couldn't wait for 4:30 every day and wrapped myself up in a bottle when it rolled around. And I was one of the classic cases of couldn't pay my bills, people telling me I should cut back on drinking, losing friends over it, showing up to work with alcohol in my system, basically the classical alcoholic signs. My biggest problem was one was too many and twenty-four weren't enough. And I felt like I couldn't do a thing without some booze in me.

I can only give you the advice that worked for me. I started taking account of my life, where I was, where I was heading and what I had before and the answers were scary. I had tried to "quit" before and it just didn't work that well for me. So instead of quitting cold turkey, I cut back a little each time; a day here, a drink there until I could control it rather than it controlling me. It sounds like a backwards way of doing things, but it did work in my case. Took a while, but I eventually got to where I could control the urges on my own rather than having to worry about them controlling me. It's small steps that matter and not picking up that last drink or taking a night off makes all the difference in the world in the long run. And it's not something that you can put a definitive plan on as each person is different and alcohol has a hold on them in various ways.

I still have a drink from time to time, but nothing like I used to do. And I haven't gone out and tied one on in a long time, like over three years to be exact. I just don't feel the urge to anymore. I'm not big on the whole rehab thing because the person has to be mentally ready to take that step and never look back. Relapse is a huge concern and everything done that far would be for naught if it happens. So you have to be mentally ready to do it, but take everything in small steps.

I won't happen overnight and I wish you all the best.

 

[TXA&M07]

one other thing. Stay off the al-anon message boards. There are several of them that I found years ago.

Let me say this: they may help some folks, but that place I went to was absolutely terrible with some of the most judgmental people I've ever seen. Their lack of compassion and the overal brutal way they approach you is terrible. Its not helpful at all and you'll end up being pissed you ever went there.

 

[Behr]

It was probably me misunderstanding you.
I'm often have moments of "not very smart".

It doesn't really matter except, I don't understand how anyone that has been involved in and genuinely "worked" the AA program can say some of the things that are said. It makes me question if they know what they are talking about or giving their opinion on what they have heard about it.

2 post in this thread alone have suggested "no AA" and that God was what was needed. :blink:

I'm just trying to unnerstan.eace2:

 

[TXA&M07]

Behr, I've known folks who have become drinking buddies after meeting at AA. I also know a few couples that married. Their first time to meet was at an AA meeting. It can go both ways there IMO.

 

[TXA&M07]

And most recovering addicts that I know have replaced their alcohol addiction with something else like, church, or working out (that one is real popular). Thats all well and good provided its done in a healthy manner. You gotta wonder though about them:

Yall working out like crazy because you're thinking about the bottle? If the answer is yes, IMO, they're still addicted and the mental addiction they continue to suffer from will eventually lead them back to the bottle. Miss one friday of Crossfit during football season with all your buddies coming into to town and see what happens.

 

[Obsessed]

It doesn't really matter except, I don't understand how anyone that has been involved in and genuinely "worked" the AA program can say some of the things that are said. It makes me question if they know what they are talking about or giving their opinion on what they have heard about it.

2 post in this thread alone have suggested "no AA" and that God was what was needed. :blink:

I'm just trying to unnerstan.eace2:

If God helps them get were they need to be what difference does it make?

 

[Behr]

Behr, I've known folks who have become drinking buddies after meeting at AA. I also know a few couples that married. Their first time to meet was at an AA meeting. It can go both ways there IMO.

AA is more than just the meetings.

AA nor anything else wil help anyone that isn't ready to be helped.

 

[Behr]

If God helps them get were they need to be what difference does it make?

See, here's where I get confused Obsessed. I know you are familiar with the Bible. Do any of the following sound familiar?

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

 

[Obsessed]

See, here's where I get confused Obsessed. I know you are familiar with the Bible. Do any of the following sound familiar?

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I've never been to AA. So I'll assume these are the 12 steps that are commonly referenced.

My point/question to you was simply me stating/asking that if a person that needs help such as the op, and others that have posted here, why does it matter if the turn to God to achieve their goals? If that is what helps overcome these terrible things, who are you and I to judge the method in which these folks get better?

 

[Behr]

I've never been to AA. So I'll assume these are the 12 steps that are commonly referenced.

My point/question to you was simply me stating/asking that if a person that needs help such as the op, and others that have posted here, why does it matter if the turn to God to achieve their goals? If that is what helps overcome these terrible things, who are you and I to judge the method in which these folks get better?

I must not be making myself clear.

That is AA's main objective. They think it is impossible, with most true alcoholics, to find a meaningful sober life without God!

 

[Behr]

Maybe I'm missing something here.

I'm not "pushing" AA on anyone. I'm just confused by people that disagree with AA but suggest they "find" or get to know God better.

 

[Ernest T. Vol]

That's part of my problem, I could stay up all night doing chores.. And never get tired enough to go to sleep.. My mind stays running no matter what

This is the way I am from a lot of time spent in a high stress military unit. I have seen all kinds of ugly things happen at all hours where am/pm mean nothing. Cold turkey does not work for me. Regulating the flow does. I intentionally make private mental contracts. I know others may disagree but it works for me. I don't believe I am powerless. I have a mentality of fighting akin to when you run or workout and you feel like you cant make it 5 for minutes but somehow you do. After 3 to 4 days, I allow myself to indulge within reason. I set my mind up to take pride in winning a battle of an ongoing war. During the 3 to 4 days, I will intentionally go to a bar and drink diet coke just to prove it to myself. Being a fighting SOB works for me, even if it is with myself.