Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#426
#426
Oh. That is what I have dedicated myself to. My wife is the one trying to separate us and break up our family. We are riding her wave of anger to joy. Happiness back to sadness. All the while I have been doing everything I always done. And the boys are developing more everyday. I have seen the whole summer get away from my sons & I. Nothing I had planned has taken place. Really a sad ****ing situation.
 
#427
#427
PimpVol said:
Oh. That is what I have dedicated myself to. My wife is the one trying to separate us and break up our family. We are riding her wave of anger to joy. Happiness back to sadness. All the while I have been doing everything I always done. And the boys are developing more everyday. I have seen the whole summer get away from my sons & I. Nothing I had planned has taken place. Really a sad ****ing situation.
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Pimp, what do you do for a living?
 
#429
#429
Actually I am a driver. Since 97 I have worked @ various furniture moving companies. I began driving in 2006. The previous nine years I was a mover. From 93 to 97 I worked different types of jobs til I caught on moving. Worked in a laundromat from 14 to 18. That covers my working scenario.
 
#430
#430
To me, there is a huge leap from not liking someone to actually being violently angry with them. One does not necessarily lead to the other. Certain criteria has to be met in order to express outward rage & anger. I do not feel that it stems merely from falling out of love. Something else is there. Whatever it is, it allows her to be an awfully tough person to deal with. I am still fighting everyday, although I do not know for what anymore. I am not sure of who my "wife" has become. Scary.
 
#434
#434
Yes. @ first she did not want too. Then she tried to get me to go. I declined, as I was perfectly happy with her & my family. Now we are in a weird holding pattern. If my mother was still alive I would have went to her house, but she isn't. So I am here for the long haul. I hope we get this worked out. The boys are hanging tough, but they are showing signs of the stress of all of this going on around here. I am really suffering without my wife. She seems ok without me (mainly because I still do everything I always did) and that bothers/perplexes me. I am not "ok" without her @ all. School starts in a few weeks. Wonder how that will go. This summer has been summarily wasted. Football practice starts in a few weeks. My oldest & I have not worked on really anything that we should have. This has cost our entire family and it could get worse if the divorce actually happens.
 
#435
#435
PimpVol said:
Yes. @ first she did not want too. Then she tried to get me to go. I declined, as I was perfectly happy with her & my family. Now we are in a weird holding pattern. If my mother was still alive I would have went to her house, but she isn't. So I am here for the long haul. I hope we get this worked out. The boys are hanging tough, but they are showing signs of the stress of all of this going on around here. I am really suffering without my wife. She seems ok without me (mainly because I still do everything I always did) and that bothers/perplexes me. I am not "ok" without her @ all. School starts in a few weeks. Wonder how that will go. This summer has been summarily wasted. Football practice starts in a few weeks. My oldest & I have not worked on really anything that we should have. This has cost our entire family and it could get worse if the divorce actually happens.
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Sounds like it needs to be re-addressed
 
#436
#436
kids drain something out of women and hormones going haywire on top of it years later is just a crapshoot. You either get a lucky lottery ticket or you don't. I've seen the happiest people turn into hating each other and I've seen the loony ones turn half sane.
 
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#439
#439
gddang it. my wife and i were drinking beer at a bar on a monday night in asheville.

we played guess the band name. i gave her five hints and the hooker didnt know who the cure was? im done, this is over!
 
#440
#440
PimpVol said:
The person divorcing you has a way of taking your self-esteem from you. Mainly by telling you (through divorce) that you are not "worth" their time or effort anymore. Really a deflating experience. @ least it was for me. I will never be the same. Ever. Truly shattering. You can move on but can you ever really get over it?
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Think about what you wrote...

No person can take away your self esteem. You are responsible for your own happiness. On the surface, that sounds harsh and sucks... But in reality, it is a good thing.

If she is as determined to end it as you say, you have to start focusing on making you and your kids better. Once I capitulated, I was dumb enough to believe it when she agreed to be mutually supportive and to do what is best for the kids. Counting on (or hoping for) any help with the kids from her (when I have work issues) has been like giving her a post marriage way to F with me whenever she wants. Don't be any more generous in your MDA or Parenting Plan than you have to be by law. If you want to do more voluntarily, you can after the judge signs it. Otherwise you are putting yourself at a nut's mercy.
 
#441
#441
ugahater1 said:
gddang it. my wife and i were drinking beer at a bar on a monday night in asheville.

we played guess the band name. i gave her five hints and the hooker didnt know who the cure was? im done, this is over!
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Being a little insensitive aren't we?
 
#442
#442
ugahater1 said:
gddang it. my wife and i were drinking beer at a bar on a monday night in asheville.

we played guess the band name. i gave her five hints and the hooker didnt know who the cure was? im done, this is over!
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Slow your roll, there slick. You should only do this if your wife doesn't know the name of a decent band.
 
#444
#444
Yes, it is. Never thought it would happen to me. Divorce was not even in my vocabulary right up until the moment she brought it up to me.
 
#445
#445
McDad said:
Slow your roll, there slick. You should only do this if your wife doesn't know the name of a decent band.
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sorry was in an ultra sarcastic mood. i was making a point to shed light, lucky to have a beat friend who'll go hang out and have beers on a patio with me.
 
#446
#446
ugahater1 said:
sorry was in an ultra sarcastic mood. i was making a point to shed light, lucky to have a beat friend who'll go hang out and have beers on a patio with me.
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No worries. I was just taking a dig at ya for recognizing a song by the Cure. My wife and I play the 'name that artist' when listening to the radio. She is horrible.
 
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#447
#447
aaaah! what a dick? u got me! sob.

are u the same mcrad from vq back in the day? lol. my handle was jackcrevol. theres not many of us around. some are on outmonvolia, those of us who prefer humor vs actual real dialogue

u got a like for that one. ha
 
#448
#448
Married for 8 years, then divorced. Married again and it will be 5 years this October.

Ultimately children are what determined my first divorce. My first wife and I were sort of ambivalent on whether or not we wanted kids when we first got married. After 7 years I realized that I wanted kids and looking at my first wife objectively, she was not the woman that I wanted to be the mother of those children so I intiated divorce.
 
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