Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#951
#951
vol_in_ar said:
Better get her to sign something, because once she gets a lawyer, the lawyers going to start telling her everything she's entitled too, and half of everything will be back on the table.
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And it's usually dumb if there are tax ramifications.
 
#952
#952
yes, I need to meet with my tax accountant next week, I closed on a new house, before getting the equity out of our marital home (it sells June 30th) and I need to figure out how to keep from taking a big tax hit, on that equity
 
#953
#953
g8terh8ter_eric said:
It will get better guys, trust me. I was miserable for 3 months when my ex-wife pulled her stunt and left me high and dry. Once I got all the emotional turmoil out of my system, and that was an everyday thing for those 3 months, I woke up one day and told God to lead the way and I was sick of feeling the way I was. Fast forward to around a month later, and I met current wife and have been the happiest I have ever been since. We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary this past month.

I'm here to tell you it does get easier, and while my circumstances are different that those in this thread, you have to believe you will be happy again, or you will tear yourself down to be miserable. Even if you don't meet someone at first, do whatever makes you happy and do it for you. Also, surround yourself with positive people, and keep the negative nancies away. Those people who love to be negative will keep you from getting back on your feet faster than it should. Pray everyday as well, if you are a believer, and pray for God to lead you where you need to be. Once you put it in God's hands, if He wants to help you reconcile, He will help, if He isn't leading you that way, then make sure you are willing to go forward versus trying to drag God back to where you want to go. I did that for 3 months, and I kicked and cried like a 3 year old throwing a tantrum, and that wasn't what God wanted for me. Once I decided to get up out of the mud and start walking forward, my life changed for the better. If you are willing to move on, God will help, and that is coming from my experiences.
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thanks, that's good advice
 
#954
#954
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Pray everyday as well, if you are a believer, and pray for God to lead you where you need to be. Once you put it in God's hands, if He wants to help you reconcile, He will help, if He isn't leading you that way, then make sure you are willing to go forward versus trying to drag God back to where you want to go. I did that for 3 months, and I kicked and cried like a 3 year old throwing a tantrum, and that wasn't what God wanted for me. Once I decided to get up out of the mud and start walking forward, my life changed for the better. If you are willing to move on, God will help, and that is coming from my experiences.
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That applies to a lot of things, not just relationships.
 
#958
#958
vol_in_ar said:
Better get her to sign something, because once she gets a lawyer, the lawyers going to start telling her everything she's entitled too, and half of everything will be back on the table.
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this was after she talked to her lawyer. she initially was going after half, which she is legally entitled to. Somehow i talked her out of it.
 
#960
#960
One year to the day my wife backed out of our marriage (picked a hell of a day to do it too). This time last year I was distraught. How the **** did this happen is how I feel this year. Still hate when I see our old friends and I'm alone :), but the worst is over now.

I'd also like to wish a happy Mother's Day to my mom & grandmom & great grandmom (all deceased). The world is a colder place without y'all.
 
#961
#961
vol_in_ar said:
that's good, maybe you can talk her out of wanting a divorce
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Keeping your wife is a lot like recruiting a five star player. Going directly through her is a mistake. You have to know who the "decision maker" is and recruit that person. Whether it's her mother or co-worker or whomever it may be. People are talking to her and working on her & influencing her to no end. Most of the time you have no clue who it is and what kind of **** that they are pumping her head full of. But be sure, she is getting her head filled with some kind of bull****. If you knew who the decision maker was you could talk to them and in turn the DM may talk to your wife for you in a positive manner.

If you didn't talk your wife into a divorce you aren't likely to talk her out of a divorce. You may be successful, but it is not very likely in my opinion.
 
#965
#965
vol_in_ar said:
that's good, maybe you can talk her out of wanting a divorce
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yeah so far nope. but i'm detaching myself.
PimpVol said:
Keeping your wife is a lot like recruiting a five star player. Going directly through her is a mistake. You have to know who the "decision maker" is and recruit that person. Whether it's her mother or co-worker or whomever it may be. People are talking to her and working on her & influencing her to no end. Most of the time you have no clue who it is and what kind of **** that they are pumping her head full of. But be sure, she is getting her head filled with some kind of bull****. If you knew who the decision maker was you could talk to them and in turn the DM may talk to your wife for you in a positive manner.

If you didn't talk your wife into a divorce you aren't likely to talk her out of a divorce. You may be successful, but it is not very likely in my opinion.
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i'm pretty sure the decision maker is her stepmom. eggh. she is bitter.

UTVOLKeith said:
She's got a great lawyer.

Cause that's what you think...lol

sorry couldn't resist

but dang man get a brain and get rid of the heart
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Papers are drawn up and waiting on her to file. There is nothing about her taking 1/2 the 401k. She wanted half of the difference between our 401ks which would have been about 15k.
 
#966
#966
UTVOLKeith said:
She's got a great lawyer.

Cause that's what you think...lol

sorry couldn't resist

but dang man get a brain and get rid of the heart
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Hate to say this is good advice, bit it is. If you've got to talk/negotiate/beg your way into being a "happily" married of couple again, you're going to be back down **** creek in time.

It sucks, but my best advice to anyone is to take honest stock of the situation, salvage what you can to keep things workable for you and your children, then retreat and redeploy. As much as people try to believe it, that square peg doesn't fit in a round hole.
 
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#969
#969
thanks,
I've already started dreading this weekend...Sunday will be 1 year from when she told me she wanted a divorce...
 
#973
#973
Yes, she bought a house one street over from where we lived, when we were here from '04 to '09
 
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