The following is not yet verified by an official resource. However, ambulances, public utility trucks, and moving vans at Neyland suggest the report has merit. The players hit the field with eagerness and joy fueled by determination to shock the entire NCAA. The result of the hollering, whooping, and jumping around triggered a highly localized seismic event which cause both skyboxes to crash down onto the field. It is determined that there were no injuries but all home games must now be rotating between the ETSU and TTU. The Titans offered their stadium for use but the UTAD declined as it is too close to VU to guarantee the safety of our females students and fans. Alabama offered to shared their stadium but again the UTAD declined by simply replying Buck Fama. Saban and company are trying to decipher what they consider a cryptic Tennessee response and seeking clarification. Additional reports are forthcoming.