Official Politics Forum Off Topic thread

[Obsessed]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

 

[McDad]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

In my experience, it depends entirely on what you're compromising and what's driving you to your wits end.

Ex 1. I'm a slob and don't pick up my clothes off the floor. That's a nuisance issue that has lots of room for negotiations. Probably not a marriage breaker issue even though it's frustrating as heck.

Ex 2. She loves going out and screwing random dudes. That's a non negotiable and there is no compromise which can resolve that behavior if it continues.

You've got to decide if the issues are profound or a nuisance, negotiable or non negotiable. Once you've got that, completely embrace the truth that the only person you can improve is you and God. Same is true for her.

 

[MercyPercy]

I know it really is a travesty, what she did to that poor sandwich- completely ruined. But maybe you're being a little drastic here.

 

[Gramps]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

Only you know what you need to do OB. The only advise I can give you, if you do divorce, make sure you set time to spend with your children. They did not ask to be born into a bad situation.

If you remarry , remember the main disagreement with new wife will be concerning the children. Sadly there will be some jealousy involved

 

[Obsessed]

Only you know what you need to do OB. The only advise I can give you, if you do divorce, make sure you set time to spend with your children. They did not ask to be born into a bad situation.

If you remarry , remember the main disagreement with new wife will be concerning the children. Sadly there will be some jealousy involved

One thing that will never be an issue are my children.

Ever.

 

[Obsessed]

I know it really is a travesty, what she did to that poor sandwich- completely ruined. But maybe you're being a little drastic here.

I wanted roast beef.

 

[Gramps]

One thing that will never be an issue are my children.

Ever.

Stick with that thinking at all cost Ob and it will be fine.
Good luck to you whatever you decide to do.

 

[Obsessed]

Btw I couldn't bring myself to go to work at the University of Arkansas.

I had a change of heart and declined.

(Has nothing to do with previous post on marriage)

 

[Obsessed]

Stick with that thinking at all cost Ob and it will be fine.
Good luck to you whatever you decide to do.

They don't make a mountain big enough. I promise you that.

 

[apevol]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

Every relationship I've ever had has ended in total disaster. I have no advice, but I make a good drinking buddy.

 

[TNsnyper20]

Man OB I've thought about this for awhile now on how to respond. I went through those thoughts a few years ago to the point of checking in on lawyers, custody, etc.

To really break it down I had to think back to why I married her in the first place. We're those qualities still there? We're my feelings still there? Did I believe she was worth trying for?

If the answer to those were yes then I needed to remind myself that I took an oath.. For better or for worse. That's what ultimately made my decision for me.

After that I say my wife down one night and we talked. Allot about everything. My thoughts. Why I wanted it to work and why I would still be there. She was a bit taken back by my feelings and a little upset.. Not at me but at the fact I was feeling that way.

Now things aren't perfect, but they did get better. We just have to remind ourselves every once in awhile why we are together and why wet love each other.

Sometimes divorce is the only answer. I truly hope everything works out for you OB. Just take the time to make the right decision.

 

[Carl Pickens]

Man OB I've thought about this for awhile now on how to respond. I went through those thoughts a few years ago to the point of checking in on lawyers, custody, etc.

To really break it down I had to think back to why I married her in the first place. We're those qualities still there? We're my feelings still there? Did I believe she was worth trying for?

If the answer to those were yes then I needed to remind myself that I took an oath.. For better or for worse. That's what ultimately made my decision for me.

After that I say my wife down one night and we talked. Allot about everything. My thoughts. Why I wanted it to work and why I would still be there. She was a bit taken back by my feelings and a little upset.. Not at me but at the fact I was feeling that way.

Now things aren't perfect, but they did get better. We just have to remind ourselves every once in awhile why we are together and why wet love each other.

Sometimes divorce is the only answer. I truly hope everything works out for you OB. Just take the time to make the right decision.

Those conversations are excruciatingly painful, but necessary sometimes. Divorce is final and even kids that are grown are adversely affected.

 

[joevol33]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

Man, I'm no advice expert, but I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[DinkinFlicka]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

Shoot, Mark. On a man to man level, i'm sorry to hear that. I can't give you guidance so I won't. I just hope, as someone who has exchanged a wide variety of words with you for years, that it works out alright for you and the cubs.

We disagree on things, but I really mean that.

 

[DinkinFlicka]

Every relationship I've ever had has ended in total disaster. I have no advice, but I make a good drinking buddy.

That's all we're good for.

Oh, that and the mufflebet.

 

[gcbvol]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

I'm sorry to hear this, Obs. I'm no expert and can't offer much in terms of guidance, but regular, honest conversation is vital. I know how cliché that sounds, but it has been essential in getting us through a couple of bumpy patches through the years. I just think it is important for both to be open about their feelings and expectations, and with all that on the table you can work on compromise (on both sides). There is no guarantee that compromise can be found, but you have to be completely honest with one another to find that out. You may already have this covered; I just hope you both find some peace.

 

[Obsessed]

Man OB I've thought about this for awhile now on how to respond. I went through those thoughts a few years ago to the point of checking in on lawyers, custody, etc.

To really break it down I had to think back to why I married her in the first place. We're those qualities still there? We're my feelings still there? Did I believe she was worth trying for?

If the answer to those were yes then I needed to remind myself that I took an oath.. For better or for worse. That's what ultimately made my decision for me.

After that I say my wife down one night and we talked. Allot about everything. My thoughts. Why I wanted it to work and why I would still be there. She was a bit taken back by my feelings and a little upset.. Not at me but at the fact I was feeling that way.

Now things aren't perfect, but they did get better. We just have to remind ourselves every once in awhile why we are together and why wet love each other.

Sometimes divorce is the only answer. I truly hope everything works out for you OB. Just take the time to make the right decision.

Thank you for your response. I appreciate the it. I'm going to attempt this route that you have suggested.

What can it hurt?

 

[Obsessed]

I'm sorry to hear this, Obs. I'm no expert and can't offer much in terms of guidance, but regular, honest conversation is vital. I know how cliché that sounds, but it has been essential in getting us through a couple of bumpy patches through the years. I just think it is important for both to be open about their feelings and expectations, and with all that on the table you can work on compromise (on both sides). There is no guarantee that compromise can be found, but you have to be completely honest with one another to find that out. You may already have this covered; I just hope you both find some peace.

Thank you

There is no doubt communication is key. Your thoughts on expectations are very true. I believe this is where our issues are coming from.

I feel that I am having to compromise too much on my expectations. Sigh.

Thanks guys.

 

[Obsessed]

Shoot, Mark. On a man to man level, i'm sorry to hear that. I can't give you guidance so I won't. I just hope, as someone who has exchanged a wide variety of words with you for years, that it works out alright for you and the cubs.

We disagree on things, but I really mean that.

Thanks dink.

You and I do disagree on things but I still consider you my good friend.


We need to have that beer, soon.

 

[McDad]

Conversation between my boys overheard on the way to school.

8 year old: Brother, who would win in a race between me and a midget?

Brother: How old is the midget?

8yo: Your age.

Brother: You're probably faster than a midget.

8yo: I AM faster than any midget.

Brother: Well.....

8yo: ....I win between me and a midget.

Brother: You're not supposed to call them midgets.

8yo: i call them " the loser ".

 

[Grand Vol]

Conversation between my boys overheard on the way to school.

8 year old: Brother, who would win in a race between me and a midget?

Brother: How old is the midget?

8yo: Your age.

Brother: You're probably faster than a midget.

8yo: I AM faster than any midget.

Brother: Well.....

8yo: ....I win between me and a midget.

Brother: You're not supposed to call them midgets.

8yo: i call them " the loser ".

Did they see a picture of Saban or something?

 

[apevol]

Conversation between my boys overheard on the way to school.

8 year old: Brother, who would win in a race between me and a midget?

Brother: How old is the midget?

8yo: Your age.

Brother: You're probably faster than a midget.

8yo: I AM faster than any midget.

Brother: Well.....

8yo: ....I win between me and a midget.

Brother: You're not supposed to call them midgets.

8yo: i call them " the loser ".

Lol.

 

[marcusluvsvols]

Lmao.good post.

 

[Septic]

Re: marriage

How do you know when you just can't do it anymore?

I don't want to air it, but I think I'm at wits end with this. I'm having to do too much compromising, that's only making things worse....

I need a little guidance from those of you that have done this and or almost did this.

Thanks guys.

Man, that's tough Ob. I'm sorry to hear that - Have you sought professional advice (i.e. marriage counseling)?
Sometimes just airing things out to a non judgmental third party can lift the boulder off your chest.

 

[marcusluvsvols]

OB..My wife and I nearly split a couple years ago. Things had been bad for a while and we had both had enough. The only reason we stuck it out was because without adultery God doesn't allow it. We decided to get in Christian counseling with our Pastor. Best decision I ever made. Hands down. Snyper. Gave some good advice. My wife and i are happier now than we have ever been...never fight or argue. We learned to see the best in each other and accept each other's flaws. Why would I get hung up on her flaws when I am surely flawed myself? For the first time in our marriage we now treat eachother like royalty. We had to get back to making each other first priority in life. God says your wife comes first. Before the kids. Before your job. Before yourself. Marriage can really work if both people are willing to do things the way God says to. Neither 1 of you can do it alone. I will pray for y all bro and I hope everything works out for the best. I read so many posts from you guys that I feel like I really know you. Hope you can find real happiness. God bless.