"I see you kids have all been horribly physically and emotionally abused. Oh, whoops! That isn't your case file. That's the Penn State University Gazette! Ha ha. I'm joking. That's just a joke. It is your case file."
"It also says here that Penn State prefers to be losing at halftime, because at Penn State they like when you're a little behind in the locker room."
"Now listen, you're going to be put into a foster home, so I need to know would you like to go to Neverland Ranch, the Catholic church or Penn State University?"