Parents With Little Screaming Kids

#376
#376
Weezer said:
I don't have kids. I've been around many of them. I helped my sister raise her three. I babysit my niece's five. I've pulled the all-night, no sleep shift with a sick baby that just wants to cry and felt helpless because nothing I could do could help. I've been grocery shopping with kids in tow and had them misbehave. From just born to now adult, I've been around kids. Through highs and lows, through good times and bad, I've been around kids. So even though I don't have kids of my own, I do have experience.

But I assume this post wasn't about me since I've never said it was okay to tell the mom to go to hell. I've consistently said it was wrong, but it wasn't deserving of an ass-whoopin'.
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wasn't directed at you and again, and again, I haven't used the word "deserve" yet. I have to repeat that every damn page.
 
#378
#378
joevol33 said:
I have 3 kids and they are all good kids. However, as good as they are, they're kids. Sometimes they just don't listen. I can threaten, spank, ground, and it still goes in one ear and out the other. Example, my 6 yearold who was told to go to bed 30 minutes ago is now on my wife's phone with her cousin. Kids, even with good parents, are gonna be kids.
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You allow that?
 
#379
#379
hog88 said:
You allow that?
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And that's the thing. Allowing your kids to get away with bad behavior does not equal good parenting. I'm probably going to invite a shiite storm upon myself with what I'm about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway. Mental problems in a child does not excuse piss poor behavior. Refusing to discipline a child while reasoning "he has a mental disorder" is lazy parenting. It teaches the child to use that as an excuse in life, and in no way helps them come to terms with the fact they are responsible for their actions. Hell, I'm a walking array of mental disorders. That doesn't give me the right to wreak whatever havok I see fit upon the world. How did I learn that? From a mom and dad that didn't let me get away with things simply because "he can't help himself". Even children with mental disorders should be taught accountability, otherwise, they run the risk of becoming amoral, uncontributing members to society. You're not helping your child by letting him get away with things. You're teaching him/her that they can get away with things. And if they can get away with it under your supervision, what makes you think they won't act the same way under the supervision of others(such as in school) or continue the behavior into adulthood? Now, I recognize and conceed that age plays a factor, but when they reach a certain age, you cannot simply allow them to run wild without consequence.

I'm not advocating to beat your children here. (Though I was spanked as a child and think it does have a place in teaching children a lesson) What I am saying is make sure they know their actions have consequences. Myself personally, whenever I took the kids to the grocery store with me, even now when I take my grand-niece and grand-nephews to the store with me, I made sure I laid the ground rules down before we even left. They got/get told, if you misbehave, you won't be getting any snacks, and when we get home, you won't get play time. And when tested, I stuck by my guns. I've put my groceries up and walked out of a store with them screaming apologies before, but I did it so they would learn I meant what I said. And the next time we went, they knew when I gave them the look it was time to calm down. I was the adult and I was going to win.

I'm no expert on parenting. As I've stated, I have none that are truly my own, but I always did what seemed like the right thing to me. I always told/still tell the kids I love them. But I also sat them down and talked straight with them. They may not have understood all I said, but I tried to make sure they got the main point. As much as I loved them, there would be times I was hard on them, because as the adult it was my responsibility to help teach them what it meant to be a good person. There's a right way to act, and a wrong way to act, and I'm here to teach you the right way. And of course, from an outside perspective, I understand "right" is subjective. But I always did my damnedest to be a positive role model.

And one more thing before I step down from my soapbox. There is a level of rowdiness that is acceptable for children when out. Anyone expecting children should act like perfect angels is expecting way too much. If you can't handle kids in general, do your shopping later at night. In the same token, it's easy for most to see when a child has stepped over the boundaries of what is acceptable into what is not acceptable. We've all seen parents that show no control over their children. My personal biggest pet peeve is when you go furniture shopping and you have the kids running around jumping on everything and the parent acts completely oblivious to their actions. Really? You probably yell at them for jumping on the sofa at home, but you think it's okay for them to jump on multiple sofas at the furniture store? That one bugs the crap out of me. I bite my tongue and hope the salesperson deals with it, but the behavior leaves me stunned. The only time I've ever said anything was when seeing a child almost take a header off a couch. But I digress. My main point, parents should be aware ans sensitive to how their children disrupt the lives of random strangers when out in public. I understand kids are kids and are hard to control at times, but when they become an obvious nuisance to those around them(like a baby that won't stop crying at a restaurant), it's the parents' obligation to remove themselves from the situation. Parenting comes with responsibility. As a respectful citizen, if the baby is sick or just plain fussy or fighting sleep or whatever, be responsible enough to ask for a to go box and leave so you don't ruin the meals of others. It's called being considerate. And those who choose not to be considerate are generally the ones who get the inconsiderate asshats telling them how to parent their child. For the one person who actually says something, more are probably thinking the same thing, they're just considerate enough not to say anything.

Anyway, end of rant. Feel free to attack me now.
 
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#380
#380
joevol33 said:
I have 3 kids and they are all good kids. However, as good as they are, they're kids. Sometimes they just don't listen. I can threaten, spank, ground, and it still goes in one ear and out the other. Example, my 6 yearold who was told to go to bed 30 minutes ago is now on my wife's phone with her cousin. Kids, even with good parents, are gonna be kids.
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Different strokes for different folks. I'd grab the phone, tell the cousin "she can't talk anymore tonight, it's bedtime" and hang up. But that's just me.


FTR, I'm not saying that's what you should have done. Your child, your choice on where to set the boundaries. I'm just stating what I would have done.
 
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#381
#381
Weezer said:
And that's the thing. Allowing your kids to get away with bad behavior does not equal good parenting. I'm probably going to invite a shiite storm upon myself with what I'm about to say, but I'm going to say it anyway. Mental problems in a child does not excuse piss poor behavior. Refusing to discipline a child while reasoning "he has a mental disorder" is lazy parenting. It teaches the child to use that as an excuse in life, and in no way helps them come to terms with the fact they are responsible for their actions. Hell, I'm a walking array of mental disorders. That doesn't give me the right to wreak whatever havok I see fit upon the world. How did I learn that? From a mom and dad that didn't let me get away with things simply because "he can't help himself". Even children with mental disorders should be taught accountability, otherwise, they run the risk of becoming amoral, uncontributing members to society. You're not helping your child by letting him get away with things. You're teaching him/her that they can get away with things. And if they can get away with it under your supervision, what makes you think they won't act the same way under the supervision of others(such as in school) or continue the behavior into adulthood? Now, I recognize and conceed that age plays a factor, but when they reach a certain age, you cannot simply allow them to run wild without consequence.

I'm not advocating to beat your children here. (Though I was spanked as a child and think it does have a place in teaching children a lesson) What I am saying is make sure they know their actions have consequences. Myself personally, whenever I took the kids to the grocery store with me, even now when I take my grand-niece and grand-nephews to the store with me, I made sure I laid the ground rules down before we even left. They got/get told, if you misbehave, you won't be getting any snacks, and when we get home, you won't get play time. And when tested, I stuck by my guns. I've put my groceries up and walked out of a store with them screaming apologies before, but I did it so they would learn I meant what I said. And the next time we went, they knew when I gave them the look it was time to calm down. I was the adult and I was going to win.

I'm no expert on parenting. As I've stated, I have none that are truly my own, but I always did what seemed like the right thing to me. I always told/still tell the kids I love them. But I also sat them down and talked straight with them. They may not have understood all I said, but I tried to make sure they got the main point. As much as I loved them, there would be times I was hard on them, because as the adult it was my responsibility to help teach them what it meant to be a good person. There's a right way to act, and a wrong way to act, and I'm here to teach you the right way. And of course, from an outside perspective, I understand "right" is subjective. But I always did my damnedest to be a positive role model.

And one more thing before I step down from my soapbox. There is a level of rowdiness that is acceptable for children when out. Anyone expecting children should act like perfect angels is expecting way too much. If you can't handle kids in general, do your shopping later at night. In the same token, it's easy for most to see when a child has stepped over the boundaries of what is acceptable into what is not acceptable. We've all seen parents that show no control over their children. My personal biggest pet peeve is when you go furniture shopping and you have the kids running around jumping on everything and the parent acts completely oblivious to their actions. Really? You probably yell at them for jumping on the sofa at home, but you think it's okay for them to jump on multiple sofas at the furniture store? That one bugs the crap out of me. I bite my tongue and hope the salesperson deals with it, but the behavior leaves me stunned. The only time I've ever said anything was when seeing a child almost take a header off a couch. But I digress. My main point, parents should be aware ans sensitive to how their children disrupt the lives of random strangers when out in public. I understand kids are kids and are hard to control at times, but when they become an obvious nuisance to those around them(like a baby that won't stop crying at a restaurant), it's the parents' obligation to remove themselves from the situation. Parenting comes with responsibility. As a respectful citizen, if the baby is sick or just plain fussy or fighting sleep or whatever, be responsible enough to ask for a to go box and leave so you don't ruin the meals of others. It's called being considerate. And those who choose not to be considerate are generally the ones who get the inconsiderate asshats telling them how to parent their child. For the one person who actually says something, more are probably thinking the same thing, they're just considerate enough not to say anything.

Anyway, end of rant. Feel free to attack me now.
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Well said Weez! I don't disagree with pretty much any of this except for these bolded parts. Here goes...

I'd have let the kid take a header off the couch, some times the best lessons learned are the painful ones. Plus I'm a full believer of Darwin. :)

As for the second bolded statement, it's so true! It's almost assured that hoodrat didn't give two craps about what her child was doing nor did she even try and stop it.
 
#382
#382
Spartacavolus said:
wasn't directed at you and again, and again, I haven't used the word "deserve" yet. I have to repeat that every damn page.
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Sparty, I'm done with the back and forth. It's obvious we're not going to agree, so the best thing to do is agree to disagree. And I've conceeded you didn't use the word "deserve", I've simply said your words imply it. If they weren't meant to imply it, I apologize, but apparently others felt it was implied as well, so your arguement wasn't quite as clear as you think it was if more than one person got the same impression. Now, you can call us stupid, question our intelligence, or whatever else you want to do. Or you could conceed your words were left open to interpretation and the possibility exists you meant one thing while leaving it open to be construed as another, in which case, we're all guilty. Whatever the case, it's all good.
 
#383
#383
Coug said:
Well said Weez! I don't disagree with pretty much any of this except for these bolded parts. Here goes...

I'd have let the kid take a header off the couch, some times the best lessons learned are the painful ones. Plus I'm a full believer of Darwin. :)

As for the second bolded statement, it's so true! It's almost assured that hoodrat didn't give two craps about what her child was doing nor did she even try and stop it.
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I don't believe a child should suffer because their parent's an idiot. Kid could have been seriously hurt, so it's not in me to sit by and say nothing in that circumstance. At least the kid has the excuse of age, the parent in the situation had no excuse whatsoever.

And I agree the mother in this situation seems guilty of ignoring how her child's actions effected those around her, but being honest, I really dislike using the term "hoodrat". Her actions were those of a bully, as someone stated earlier. "Hoodrat" just has overtones I don't like or support.


But I still love ya, bro.
 
#384
#384
vol_in_ar said:
When she goes to court
You will find out how wrong your assumption is
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Sure, the mom will probably get in trouble for it, but that doesn't make what the instigator said right in the end either. The whole situation could have been avoided if the instigator would have kept her mouth shut. Instead, she ran it, got knocked the hell down by someone who had enough of it, and now gets to play the victim. That's how this country works now. People have keyboard mentality, which means they think they can say to someone in public what they may type on an anonymous site, and no one is going to do anything about it. She found out real quick that she should have kept her mouth shut, but instead she's the victim. If I tell someone to go to hell, in public, I better be ready for what comes my way, and so should anyone else. The thing is, I've got enough personal restraint that I'm not going to do that in public, therefore removing the problem before it starts. How anyone doesn't see that the instigator is the real problem here is beyond me? It's not OK to tell someone to go to hell, and not expect anything in return. Instead people are telling her she is in the right, and the woman beating her ass is not. So, in the future, the instigator is going to continue her dumbassery, and will be able to play victim again if she chooses to go down this path. Of course, maybe just maybe the chick who beat her down might have knocked some sense into her, and she might think twice about it.
 
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#385
#385
BTW, those advocating that bad parenting was involved here, it probably was to a degree, but if you've never had kids or understand how they work, sometimes a tired child will not respond to any form of talking to or punishment, regardless of where or what you are doing. If others are ignorant of that, then that's on them.
 
#386
#386
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Sure, the mom will probably get in trouble for it, but that doesn't make what the instigator said right in the end either. The whole situation could have been avoided if the instigator would have kept her mouth shut. Instead, she ran it, got knocked the hell down by someone who had enough of it, and now gets to play the victim. That's how this country works now. People have keyboard mentality, which means they think they can say to someone in public what they may type on an anonymous site, and no one is going to do anything about it. She found out real quick that she should have kept her mouth shut, but instead she's the victim. If I tell someone to go to hell, in public, I better be ready for what comes my way, and so should anyone else. The thing is, I've got enough personal restraint that I'm not going to do that in public, therefore removing the problem before it starts. How anyone doesn't see that the instigator is the real problem here is beyond me? It's not OK to tell someone to go to hell, and not expect anything in return. Instead people are telling her she is in the right, and the woman beating her ass is not. So, in the future, the instigator is going to continue her dumbassery, and will be able to play victim again if she chooses to go down this path. Of course, maybe just maybe the chick who beat her down might have knocked some sense into her, and she might think twice about it.
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Wow... The bolded part may be the most ignorant thing I've seen posted in this thread. That's saying a lot because Spartacavolus has said some really dumb stuff.

First... I take issue with the victim being referred to as the instigator. Should she have just tolerated the crying for a minute and went about her business? No doubt. With that said (and I'll repeat myself for about the third time here), if you really think this was this was escalated to the "go to hell" stage by the victim then you must not get out of the house much. I take one look at the two involved and I know who instantly gets my vote as the one who is responsible for turning that situation ugly.

Second... That is unbelievable to me that an intelligent adult can look at this situation and think, "Ya know... The real problem here isn't the piece of human trash that followed another person into a parking lot and assaulted them over an extremely insignificant and small verbal altercation. The real problem is the lady who asked that a child be quieted. I am honestly blown away that that feeling could possibly exist.
 
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#387
#387
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Sure, the mom will probably get in trouble for it, but that doesn't make what the instigator said right in the end either. The whole situation could have been avoided if the instigator would have kept her mouth shut. Instead, she ran it, got knocked the hell down by someone who had enough of it, and now gets to play the victim. That's how this country works now. People have keyboard mentality, which means they think they can say to someone in public what they may type on an anonymous site, and no one is going to do anything about it. She found out real quick that she should have kept her mouth shut, but instead she's the victim. If I tell someone to go to hell, in public, I better be ready for what comes my way, and so should anyone else. The thing is, I've got enough personal restraint that I'm not going to do that in public, therefore removing the problem before it starts. How anyone doesn't see that the instigator is the real problem here is beyond me? It's not OK to tell someone to go to hell, and not expect anything in return. Instead people are telling her she is in the right, and the woman beating her ass is not. So, in the future, the instigator is going to continue her dumbassery, and will be able to play victim again if she chooses to go down this path. Of course, maybe just maybe the chick who beat her down might have knocked some sense into her, and she might think twice about it.
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She's not "playing" victim
She was stalked and physical attacked
 
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#389
#389
Cdywolfe said:
Wow... The bolded part may be the most ignorant thing I've seen posted in this thread. That's saying a lot because Spartacavolus has said some really dumb stuff.

First... I take issue with the victim being referred to as the instigator. Should she have just tolerated the crying for a minute and went about her business? No doubt. With that said (and I'll repeat myself for about the third time here), if you really think this was this was escalated to the "go to hell" stage by the victim then you must not get out of the house much. I take one look at the two involved and I know who instantly gets my vote as the one who is responsible for turning that situation ugly.

Second... That is unbelievable to me that an intelligent adult can look at this situation and think, "Ya know... The real problem here isn't the piece of human trash that followed another person into a parking lot and assaulted them over an extremely insignificant and small verbal altercation. The real problem is the lady who asked that a child be quieted. I am honestly blown away that that feeling could possibly exist.
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The thing you fail to realize here, is it went past asking her to get her child to be quiet, which is something you should never ask any parent to do as a stranger, to the dumbass instigator telling her to "go to hell". You push someone to that point, and you deserve what you get. If you don't want to get knocked down, don't run your mouth. I don't understand why it has to be investigated or discussed any further. Don't push someone, and not expect to be pushed back.
 
#390
#390
vol_in_ar said:
She's not "playing" victim
She was stalked and physical attacked
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Cdywolfe said:
Beat me to it. She gets to "play" the victim because she is the victim. At least to the civilized portion of our society she is.
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If you told someone to go to hell, would you expect them to react, or sit there and take it because you think they should? Do you think that is acceptable here? All people are looking at here is what the law sees, what I am looking at is why it happened to start with. You do understand why the woman got her teeth knocked around, don't you?
 
#391
#391
g8terh8ter_eric said:
The thing you fail to realize here, is it went past asking her to get her child to be quiet, which is something you should never ask any parent to do as a stranger, to the dumbass instigator telling her to "go to hell". You push someone to that point, and you deserve what you get. If you don't want to get knocked down, don't run your mouth. I don't understand why it has to be investigated or discussed any further. Don't push someone, and not expect to be pushed back.
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God lord... Are you people really this dense? For the millionth time, nobody is failing to realize anything. We (as well as the majority of society and the law) just disagree that she did anything that comes remotely close to deserve getting stalked and physically assaulted.
 
#392
#392
g8terh8ter_eric said:
If you told someone to go to hell, would you expect them to react, or sit there and take it because you think they should? Do you think that is acceptable here? All people are looking at here is what the law sees, what I am looking at is why it happened to start with. You do understand why the woman got her teeth knocked around, don't you?
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Yes I understand exactly why she was assaulted. It's actually fairly simple. She was unfortunate enough to encounter a piece of trash that is incapable of handling a minor altercation like an adult.
 
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#393
#393
Cdywolfe said:
God lord... Are you people really this dense? For the millionth time, nobody is failing to realize anything. We (as well as the majority of society and the law) just disagree that she did anything that comes remotely close to deserve getting stalked and physically assaulted.
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Verbally pushing someone is just as bad as physically doing it. It gets the same results most of the time.
 
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#395
#395
Cdywolfe said:
Yes I understand exactly why she was assaulted. It's actually fairly simple. She was unfortunate enough to encounter a piece of trash that is incapable of handling a minor altercation like an adult.
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How many times must you say this, until you realize that you are trying to make the other person look exactly as you want to see them yourself? I don't view people who are pushed by others to push back as pieces of trash, regardless of their history. Beside, its awful presumptuous of you to call her a piece of trash, and definitely doesn't help your argument anymore than you think it does.
 
#397
#397
g8terh8ter_eric said:
How many times must you say this, until you realize that you are trying to make the other person look exactly as you want to see them yourself? I don't view people who are pushed by others to push back as pieces of trash, regardless of their history. Beside, its awful presumptuous of you to call her a piece of trash, and definitely doesn't help your argument anymore than you think it does.
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I think I'm being far from presumptuous. I have more than enough evidence to feel comfortable assigning that title. Besides what am I to call her? I thought calling her the mom just didn't feel right. There's more to being a mom then popping another human out your vagina. Like, ya know being a positive example and not attacking strangers in parking lots over minor verbal altercations in a check out line.
 
#398
#398
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Really? Looks like in this situation it appears to be more right than wrong.
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I'll call this situation and raise you the hundreds (if not thousands) of other instances two civilized adults gets in a minor verbal altercation every day and no punches are thrown.
 
#399
#399
Cdywolfe said:
I think I'm being far from presumptuous. I have more than enough evidence to feel comfortable assigning that title. Besides what am I to call her? I thought calling her the mom just didn't feel right. There's more to being a mom then popping another human out your vagina. Like, ya know being a positive example and not attacking strangers in parking lots over minor verbal altercations in a check out line.
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Interesting. Would you say that to her face? You may be a perfect example of the keyboard mentality I mentioned in a previous post, and have more in common with the woman who started/provoked the situation to start with than you realize.
 
#400
#400
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Interesting. Would you say that to her face? You may be a perfect example of the keyboard mentality I mentioned in a previous post, and have more in common with the woman who started/provoked the situation to start with than you realize.
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I may just be a coward calling names from behind a keyboard.

Tell ya what I'm not though... A 5'4 120 lb woman. I might just also be the one who teaches homegirl what can happen to her when you follow someone into a parking lot and physically assault them.

That whole you never know who you're dealing with can go both ways.

So maybe next time momma can just roll eyes and go about her business being the better person.
 
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