question about homosexuality

in your opinion are the gay people born that way or do they make a choice to be gay?

  • Total voters
    0
  • Poll closed .
#227
#227
Maybe it's time to start a new thread. Is heterosexuality something your born with or do you choose to be a heterosexual? How would you feel if the situation were reversed and society said you were an abberation and shouldn't be allowed to marry? To those of you with wives, what if someone had told you it was illegal to marry her? Would you be happy with the notion of living wills and POAs? Somehow, I think not. So why should gay couples feel any different?

To those who question how they should raise their children, I say the best way you can. I have no children of my own, but helped raise my nephew, who feels like my own, and he is gay. You raise your children with love. If they ask ackward questions at an age you feel is too young, simply tell them you will explain when you feel they can better understand. Truth without lying. And Joey, you raise your boys to be men. Introduce them to sports but don't force them into it. If a child doesn't enjoy a certain activity, then don't make them do something they don't want to do. Being a man doesn't mean loving sports, drinking beers, watching action flicks. Being a man is about being responsible, hard-working, dependable, and doing the right things. I guess maybe that's the rub, what is the right thing? Tell me this, if one of your boys does turn out to be gay, will you love him any less?

I knew my nephew was gay before he came out. I don't know how, but I just knew. And I won't lie, when he did come out, it broke my heart, but I never let him see that. You look at your kids when they're young and you map out these futures for them. You want to believe that's how their lives will be, but the truth is, your dreams for them and reality rarely match up. This wasn't what I had dreamed for him. But it wasn't that I was disappointed in him that hurt(because I wasn't disappointed), it was that I didn't know how to handle it. All of a sudden his world opened onto so many bad possibilities and I had no idea how to protect him. Let's face it, as straight men, we've all made gay jokes in our lives. For many of us, they weren't meant to be hurtful, but now I saw how they could be. And all of us have probably known guys who hated gays and would not hesitate to resort to violence. That was the world he was opening himself up to and I couldn't follow him around 24/7 to keep him safe. My biggest fear was some redneck killing him simply because he was gay. I worried about it. It was probably unfair to him to worry like I did, but I couldn't help it. At some point they have to leave the nest and fly on their own, but when you know they're entering a world of bigotry and hostility, it's hard to let go.

Turning scientific for a moment, why is it so hard to believe there could be a gene that effects sexual orientation? Everyday I read about scientists discovering genes that effect this or that in human nature. Why is it we like the tastes of some foods but not the taste of others? It's hard to see that as a result of nurture, especially when you see it in infancy. Anyone who has been around babies knows some baby foods they like, some they don't. It seems that would be some kind of predisposition to me.

I would be interested in a study of pheremones and their effect on homosexuals versus their effect on heterosexuals. Random statement to end with, but I think it would be interesting.
 
#228
#228
Imo it doesnt happen at birth or in th womb... Genetically i dont believe a person is wired to be attracted to the same sex. I do believe the way a child is raised can be a factor. Abusive mothers and fathers may turn the child away from the oppisite sex. But either way I believe it is a lifestyle that is chosen and an abomination in Gods eyes...

And to not belive in God would be a another argument but call me crazy but i believe it takes more faith to think we all got to where we are by particles that exploded by chance a billion years ago than to believe in a Creator ... Just look around guys...
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#233
#233
Found this interesting.....

Contemporary research in a less homophobic environment has counterintuitively resulted in lower estimates rather than higher ones. The Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law, a gay and lesbian think tank, released a study in April 2011 estimating based on its research that just 1.7 percent of Americans between 18 and 44 identify as gay or lesbian, while another 1.8 percent -- predominantly women -- identify as bisexual. Far from underestimating the ranks of gay people because of homophobia, these figures included a substantial number of people who remained deeply closeted, such as a quarter of the bisexuals. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey of women between 22 and 44 that questioned more than 13,500 respondents between 2006 and 2008 found very similar numbers: Only 1 percent of the women identified themselves as gay, while 4 percent identified as bisexual.
Click to expand...
 
#234
#234
Chris4Vols22 said:
So how was your experience when you were choosing if you were going to be hetero, homo, or bi?

Me, I was born with my sexual preference. It actually doesn't even matter what mine is, the fact is that I was born with it.
Click to expand...

It was great. I chose to like women and it was the greatest decision of my life.
 
#235
#235
volfanngaytorland said:
It was great. I chose to like women and it was the greatest decision of my life.
Click to expand...

How old were you? Did you fill out a pros and cons sheet for each option to help with the decision? Just wondering how this process works since I don't recall it ever happening to me. Far as I know I was born loving the ladies.
 
#236
#236
Burhead said:
Unless you were gay at some point in your life, how can you be sure?
Click to expand...

I'm an alcoholic. My first cousin drank himself to death just over 4 years ago. It runs in my family. I've been sober over 4years because I choose not to drink alcohol.
Why can't it be both. Born predisposed to it but rejection of it as a lifestyle? (Or acceptance depending on the person)
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#237
#237
volfanngaytorland said:
It was great. I chose to like women and it was the greatest decision of my life.
Click to expand...

But what gave the ladies the edge?? Surely some kind of force guided you to choose that. I mean, what's so wrong with getting down with dudes?

Well, since you CHOSE to be hetero, I guess you're probably not grossed out by the idea of getting it on with a man.
 
#239
#239
JuggernaUT_VOL said:
Imo it doesnt happen at birth or in th womb... Genetically i dont believe a person is wired to be attracted to the same sex. I do believe the way a child is raised can be a factor. Abusive mothers and fathers may turn the child away from the oppisite sex. But either way I believe it is a lifestyle that is chosen and an abomination in Gods eyes...
Click to expand...

So normally, a person's brain is hardwired to be attracted to the opposite sex, correct? Do you think out of the 6.8 billion people on Earth, maybe, POSSIBLY, not every single person's brain is hardwired the same?

Think about all of the mental abnormalities that exist. Not to label homosexuality as a derogatory term, but it is a deviant from the norm.
 
#240
#240
orangeslice13 said:
I'm an alcoholic. My first cousin drank himself to death just over 4 years ago. It runs in my family. I've been sober over 4years because I choose not to drink alcohol.


I was born with big feet. I would like to choose not to have big feet.

I am much taller than either of my parents. I would like to choose to not be so tall.


Why can't it be both. Born predisposed to it but rejection of it as a lifestyle? (Or acceptance depending on the person)
Click to expand...

Why can't it be neither? Born gay (or straight or tall or big footed) and just have to live life gay (or straight or tall or big footed).
 
#241
#241
Cdywolfe said:
How old were you? Did you fill out a pros and cons sheet for each option to help with the decision? Just wondering how this process works since I don't recall it ever happening to me. Far as I know I was born loving the ladies.
Click to expand...

I know if had to go through that process, I would remember the exact day I chose. Pretty incredibly huge decision. No way that anyone who chose their sexuality forgets about the strenuous process of choosing.

So much work and effort deciding which sex to be attracted to. I'm sure glad I was naturally attracted to women. I would HATE to go through the choosing process.
 
#242
#242
Has anyone here, whether heterosexual or homosexual, ever chosen to be attracted to their specific partner (not chosen to sleep with, date, etc. but actually chosen the attraction)?
 
#243
#243
orangeslice13 said:
I'm an alcoholic. My first cousin drank himself to death just over 4 years ago. It runs in my family. I've been sober over 4years because I choose not to drink alcohol.
Why can't it be both. Born predisposed to it but rejection of it as a lifestyle? (Or acceptance depending on the person)
Click to expand...

if you never take a drink you're not an alcoholic. You made a conscious decision to drink. The argument is that homosexuals never get that chance (unless they live their entire life as a lie)
 
#244
#244
orangeslice13 said:
I'm an alcoholic. My first cousin drank himself to death just over 4 years ago. It runs in my family. I've been sober over 4years because I choose not to drink alcohol.
Why can't it be both. Born predisposed to it but rejection of it as a lifestyle? (Or acceptance depending on the person)
Click to expand...

That exactly how I feel about it.

Congrats on your soberity
 
#248
#248
utvolpj said:
if you never take a drink you're not an alcoholic. You made a conscious decision to drink. The argument is that homosexuals never get that chance (unless they live their entire life as a lie)
Click to expand...

I want to drink every day. That makes me an alcoholic. I choose not to drink. I think the analogy is valid although I've never had homosexual feelings for comparison.
 
#250
#250
orangeslice13 said:
I want to drink every day. That makes me an alcoholic. I choose not to drink. I think the analogy is valid although I've never had homosexual feelings for comparison.
Click to expand...

was your whole life up to the point you took your first drink spent with the same desire? For example, did you know at the age of 10 that you wanted a drink? Choosing not to drink after you've already started is different than knowing before
 
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.

VN Store



Back
Top