question about homosexuality

in your opinion are the gay people born that way or do they make a choice to be gay?

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#151
#151
therealUT said:
You are not familiar with the Catholic annulment process; having had an annulment in the Catholic Church, I can tell you that plenty of individuals who get married and end up getting divorced, also go through a church annulment process.
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You have obviously only heard about their annulment process. It is not a divorce, it's an annulment - marriage never happened (actually happened under false pretense) and is obtained so they can get married in the church again.

You're going to be the hit of the party when you tell a 4 year old that there is no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. Good luck with that.
 
#152
#152
Burhead said:
Nope, I believe in free thinking and intelligence. I would not want to stunt my future kid's growth because I sheltered them like my parents sheltered me.
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You need to rethink discussing those topics with a child.

We aren't talking 11, 12 or teen. The ages of 4/5 have been discussed. Discussing homosexuality with a kid of that age is stupid. Plain and simple.
 
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#153
#153
utvolpj said:
What anti-gay things should I plan on teaching my son? Just want to make sure I'm properly prepared
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I used that for lack of a better term. I apologize for any misunderstanding. I will not teach my children anti gay or hate or anything of the like.
And it's possible if you weren't a mod you'd get a slightly different answer.
 
#154
#154
gcbvol said:
Not exactly. What I am saying is that we are getting into dangerous territory if parents or other authority figures are actively raising children 'not to be gay'. As if being gay is a bad or evil thing. Again, I will bring my own experience in on this topic - I had a lot of self hate as I fought my homosexuality for many years. I never attempted suicide, but would be lying if I said I never thought about it. In retrospect I think it crazy that it ever crossed my mind, but it was not an easy time in my life.

I am not advocating that parents teach their children that 'gay is OK'. I think it would be great (when they are of proper age, whenever that is), but not what I'm saying. The problem would be actively teaching that gay is bad, because if a child is gay there will likely be plenty of struggle for them without the added reason to self-loathe.
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I'm straight, and I contemplated suicide in HS. Wouldn't ever do it, but I thought about it a few nights growing up. Kids are monsters sometimes, much more so than adults, especially when they know that they won't get into any real trouble doing and saying what they are.
 
#155
#155
g8terh8ter_eric said:
You better be careful what you say then, because it can and will come back to haunt you, especially in today's society.
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I better be careful about telling the truth? No thanks. I will continue to be truthful; telling lies to children in order to "shield them" from the world is teaching them that it is okay to lie.
 
#156
#156
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Telling them the truth, and telling them what they should know at a certain point in their development, are two totally different things.
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What are we talking about here? Are we afraid to tell our kids that some men love men, or are we afraid to tell them in detail the mechanics of homosexual sex?
 
#157
#157
Spartacavolus said:
You need to rethink discussing those topics with a child.

We aren't talking 11, 12 or teen. The ages of 4/5 have been discussed. Discussing homosexuality with a kid of that age is stupid. Plain and simple.
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So what would be the appropriate age then to discuss issues like this then? If my kid and I were walking down the street and he saw two men or women kissing and he asked about it, what should I do in your mind?
 
#158
#158
joeydupree said:
I used that for lack of a better term. I apologize for any misunderstanding. I will not teach my children anti gay or hate or anything of the like.
And it's possible if you weren't a mod you'd get a slightly different answer.
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You would probably get a different one too. But go ahead and speak your mind. It's amazing how so many are able to within board rules
 
#159
#159
therealUT said:
I better be careful about telling the truth? No thanks. I will continue to be truthful; telling lies to children in order to "shield them" from the world is teaching them that it is okay to lie.
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Dude, if your married, or have kids on the way, you better make sure your wife or girlfriend is on this page with you, or you won't be in the kids lives that much.
 
#160
#160
KentheOrange said:
You have obviously only heard about their annulment process. It is not a divorce, it's an annulment - marriage never happened (actually happened under false pretense) and is obtained so they can get married in the church again.
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I have gone through the annulment process. Right, the church says the marriage never happened...it did happen, I was there. It is simply another religious ghost story.

KentheOrange said:
You're going to be the hit of the party when you tell a 4 year old that there is no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. Good luck with that.
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No Jesus, either. I will be fine with it.
 
#161
#161
Spartacavolus said:
I think some people are born gay and some poeple "become" gay. Is a mother of 3 that's now lesbian born that way? Is a former lesbian that's now a mother of 3 still gay?

There isn't a blanket answer.
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About the only post I agree with in this thread, other than the gay guys posts. Sorry gay guy, I cant recall your name. GCV GVC
 
#162
#162
Is it just me, or do all the people in here saying how honest they will be with their kids appear to be childless?
 
#163
#163
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Dude, if your married, or have kids on the way, you better make sure your wife or girlfriend is on this page with you, or you won't be in the kids lives that much.
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My fiance is on the same page as I am; she does not believe in ghosts, either.
 
#166
#166
KentheOrange said:
Is it just me, or do all the people in here saying how honest they will be with their kids appear to be childless?
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I admit I don't have a kid but I don't believe in sheltering them from the world is productive. My parents did it and I hate them for it sometimes.
 
#167
#167
therealUT said:
My fiance is on the same page as I am; she does not believe in ghosts, either.
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As long as you two are on the same page, or what you perceive to be the same page, good luck with your endeavors with children brother. I can tell you this, having tried to raise a step-daughter for over 5 years, you will change your tune somewhat over time.
 
#168
#168
I will mess with my kids about Santa when they're little, but as soon as they put the question to me, I'll answer honestly.

I think kids are capable of handling a lot more honesty than we offer them. Obviously you don't need to be worrying them with something like your financial problems, but they don't have to be treated like adorable little morons, either.
 
#169
#169
n_huffhines said:
I will mess with my kids about Santa when they're little, but as soon as they put the question to me, I'll answer honestly.

I think kids are capable of handling a lot more honesty than we offer them. Obviously you don't need to be worrying them with something like your financial problems, but they don't have to be treated like adorable little morons, either.
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Let me ask you this...

Do you really want to tell your child, let's say 7 and under, that there isn't a Santa Claus, then go have him tell all his friends and have all the other parents explain the same thing to their kids?? You think that's even remotely close to fair to the other kids or parents??
 
#170
#170
Burhead said:
So what would be the appropriate age then to discuss issues like this then? If my kid and I were walking down the street and he saw two men or women kissing and he asked about it, what should I do in your mind?
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depends on the question. Maybe "some people like men more and some people like women more"

The age will be kid specific and dependent upon his/her development, but 4 or 5 it is not. Maybe around age 8/9.
My 10 yr old knows more than my 12 yr old.

It's not about sheltering or lying. There is a time and place and laying that info on a kid who doesn't even know what day it is makes no sense.
Plus, you open a can of worms and then part of the info you give the kid comes out of his mouth at some point because he is too young to understand anyway. Then you have other kids who tell their parents, teacher calls, etc.
 
#171
#171
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Let me ask you this...

Do you really want to tell your child, let's say 7 and under, that there isn't a Santa Claus, then go have him tell all his friends and have all the other parents explain the same thing to their kids?? You think that's even remotely close to fair to the other kids or parents??
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Other parents are lying to their children; not my problem.
 
#172
#172
g8terh8ter_eric said:
Let me ask you this...

Do you really want to tell your child, let's say 7 and under, that there isn't a Santa Claus, then go have him tell all his friends and have all the other parents explain the same thing to their kids?? You think that's even remotely close to fair to the other kids or parents??
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What does fair have to do with it? Why do I have to support the lies of other parents? That doesn't seem fair.

I will tell my kids to keep their damn mouths shut. Personally, I was embarrassed when I found out Santa wasn't real.
 
#175
#175
Spartacavolus said:
depends on the question. Maybe "some people like men more and some people like women more"

The age will be kid specific and dependent upon his/her development, but 4 or 5 it is not. Maybe around age 8/9.
My 10 yr old knows more than my 12 yr old.

It's not about sheltering or lying. There is a time and place and laying that info on a kid who doesn't even know what day it is makes no sense.
Plus, you open a can of worms and then part of the info you give the kid comes out of his mouth at some point because he is too young to understand anyway. Then you have other kids who tell their parents, teacher calls, etc.
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A kid is ready for the info when the kid asks; to not answer a question that a child has is to curb their curiosity and their search for knowledge, as well as to lie to them. And, you are going to lie to children or thwart their curiosity because you are afraid of another parent or teacher calling you? Priorities.
 
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