Recruiting Forum Football Talk LIX

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#7,476
#7,476
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
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You both need counseling to figure out what is going on and why before making a final decision. There's a lot more to this with two young children involved and your long history together. If you have a church home, start with your pastor or with one a close family member knows who can be trusted. Most are well trained for this and will refer you to the counselor you need.

Will pray for your situation and peace.
 
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#7,477
#7,477
Vols4us said:
You both need counseling to figure out what is going on and why before making a final decision. There's a lot more to this with two young children involved and your long history together. If you have a church home, start with your pastor or with one a close family member knows who can be trusted. Most are well trained for this and will refer you to the counselor you need.

Will pray for your situation and peace.
Click to expand...

Great advice here. Seriously
 
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#7,478
#7,478
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...

In marriage counseling we show people to find their meaning in life in Christ and not in loved ones. People are human and will let you down, but not Christ.

Hate to hear your situation. Forgiveness is certianly doable for you, but I don’t know if you should ever trust her, which could mean a divorce. Ouch. Hope you exhaust all other options first
 
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#7,479
#7,479
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...

Kids involved. Long relationship. Try counseling. There’s fault in all of us. You made a good decision not hurting that man. There’s also no such thing as getting even by cheating back. It’s a long road to recovery. Counseling will determine if you should take it.

God bless and keep it between you two. Leave the kids out.
 
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#7,480
#7,480
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...

Counseling is good to find the core issue if shes interested. Before my wife and I got married, our reverend asked us a challenging, yet important question.

The Episcopal church we attended in Jacksonville required the reverend to sign off so counseling was necessary. He asked us both at the same time "Is this person the only one for you in this world?" The answer feels like its yes. But that answer is short sighted. There are a million people in this world that is right for you. God, circumstance, luck (in my case and also a smidge of bribery) direct you to the person that you end up marrying but even if it doesn't work out, you didnt lose the only one you're compatible with.

Attempt counseling but at the end of the day, follow your heart. Everyone deserves to be in a respectful relationship, even the coffee drinkers.
 
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#7,481
#7,481
butchna said:
Lot of unknowns to determine before helpful advice can be dispensed. First, how did you find out? Did she tell you? If so, there’s something redeemable. Second, how long did the affair last and/or how many are we discussing? Only you know what your trust limit is and how worthy she is of it. A one time discretion is a game ender for some but not for others. How much could you forgive? There is no forgetting. My wife listened to me read your post and weighed in...she wants me to assure you that this isn’t out of butchna’s head. :hi:
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This is good advice
 
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#7,484
#7,484
Vols4us said:
Proud of you, man. Just awesome. I won't out you, but I put it all together this AM and you probably know how.

To all you Vol fan dads out there - Happy Father's Day. You are making a difference.
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Thank you. You are correct sir. I am beyond blessed. I really am.
 
#7,485
#7,485
All that's left of 3 huge racks. Happy father's day to all the dads.
 

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#7,486
#7,486
TNVols91 said:
Happy fathers day to me.. woke up this morning and found out my wife of 12 years cheated on me. I'm sorry I know this isn't the place for this but I just have to vent anonymously. I feel like my world is caving and I dont know what to do. I know I should leave her but I cant think of her not in my life. I'm a grown man who is scared of what may come from this.
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Prayers for you, Sir. I am so very sorry to read this. Totally ok to be scared. Not going to offer advice, other than to say, keep your chin up. God will lead you out of this wilderness.
 
#7,489
#7,489
I think Weinke was hired because he was a former NFL QB who knows offense. He can help plan the complete offense and game plan way more than just a rb coach. He can help coach the QB’s also. Inroads to South Florida recruits is just an added bonus. JMO.
 
#7,491
#7,491
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...

Do what's best for the kids, whatever that is. And, pray.
 
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#7,498
#7,498
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...

She lied to you when you caught her on the Snapchat thing. And I don’t believe “only one time” for a second.

Children complicate this, but she does not sound like a good person who treats you with respect. I do not know either of you though so it’s not my place to say definitively one way or the other. If you want to try and work through it I echo everyone else in suggesting counseling, but the fact that she lied to you and said it was “just pictures” and didn’t admit to it until you did more sleuthing really sets off alarm bells.
 
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#7,499
#7,499
Run.

Itll be like ripping a band aid off - will hurt at first, but will pass. Probably quicker than you imagine.

Or... stay, and spend the rest of your life wondering what she's doing when you're not around, who is contacting her every time her phone goes off, etc.

f***. That.

You're 27? Still young. Don't throw another 5-10-20 years down the drain in a likely unsalvageable relationship.

Think about it... she isn't sorry. She's sorry she got caught. Huge difference. If she had her way, she's still be sending pics and making plans with this guy.
 
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#7,500
#7,500
TNVols91 said:
I appreciate all the words of wisdom. We have 2 children together 9 and 4. I found out by snapchat which she then said all they did was send pictures. I had her phone and talked as her then found out that it had been physical. It only happened once but they continued to talk and hide it afterwards. He sent me his address cause when i was acting like her i said i needed it again. I jumped in my truck and tore down the road. I continued to snap while driving and found out that he didn't know who I was or that I existed. I then told him this is her husband and you just saved your life. He apologized profusely saying hes not like that he doesn't mess with other men's wives she told him we were divorced. As angry as I was I couldn't see how me going and breaking his face was fair when all he thought he was doing was talking to a single mom. The part that gets me even more is we had been fine no fighting no more arguing than what was normal(minimal). It didn't happen on fathers day it happened April 6 which was 3 days after we just got back from our amazing week vacation in the mountains. I'm in a bad spot and I'm scared She was my world my high school sweetheart been together 12 years I'm only 27(married for 8) I dont want to be over but I dont know how I can forgive her I cant think of how she can make this up to me. She says she wants to ans loves me and all of that but how can she... this isn't the first time it's happened in the past but we were young and immature. I thought she was past this. I cannot imagine her not in my life and I cant figure out how to forgive her.


Sorry for the long post.
Click to expand...

Patience.

Rash emotional decisions are rarely wise decisions.

If she wants to work on it, you owe it to your family to explore that. Many couples have worked through this and had wondered faithful marriages afterwards. Be a success story (as much as depends on you) not another failure.
 
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